A Dizzee Rascal song that cam out over the summer. Bumps pretty good. Not the most scintillating verses, because they are seriously impossible to decipher, but the beat is fantastic.
The last three weeks have been a sort of delirious dream for me that keeps on going. Every doubt I have had has been extinguished, and for the past three Sundays, I have looked at every game with no regrets. Every Giants win was gonna be a undeserved and unexpected piece of joy, while a loss would be an end to an already memorable season. Yet the strangest thing happened to me as Lawrence Tynes's 47 yard field goal landed between the two uprights in Green Bay. I began to hope and believe.
The last time the Giants made the Super Bowl was the 2000 season, which means on January 28th 2001, I was 11 years old and in sixth grade. I know I liked the Giants at that point, but my fandom had not became fanaticism or obsession at that point. Gradually over the next years I became more and more involved; I started watching the play-by-play of games online, I began to watch every televised performance they had in San Francisco, and then most recently, I purchased Sirius Radio with the sole intention of listening to the home broadcast of Giants games. However this year, unlike any other year of my life, I have gotten to watch the Giants on a consistent basis. I have watched every game this season except the beginning of the first Green Bay game in week 2, and the Vikings debacle, during which I was on a plane from San Francisco back to Boston. I also went to two regular season games and the game against Dallas, all three of which they won. And a funny thing has happened: I like this Giants team more than any other team that I have watched.
I feel almost vindicated by this team. The Giants season last year was such an outstanding debacle that they were at times difficult to root for. Players quit on the team, they quit on the season, and they quit on the coaching staff. Yet this year it all changed. Jerry Reese became general manager, we got rid of some old blood, we drafted incredibly, and quite possibly most importantly, we brought in Steve Spagnuolo, the man who I want to be the Head Coach of the future for the New York Giants.
And all of a sudden it all clicked. Eli Manning got on the same page with his receivers at the end of the year. Our defense became one of the elite units in the NFL courtesy of Spags, our rookies panned out and have been sick additions to our team (I am getting an Ahmad Bradshaw jersey, no questions asked), and slowly but surely we have marched our way through the regular season and the playoffs on the fuel of passion, team chemistry, and a us-against-the-world mentality.
And now I believe. And I am fucking frightened to. I could have taken a loss at GB, hell maybe even a loss to the Bucs. Dallas would have been hard cause I would have been there, but now I know if the Giants lose I will be despondent for some period of time. I keep having images of Tynes hitting a field goal to win it, Bradshaw busting out an epic long run to put the Giants up, Gostkowski missing a field goal reminiscent of Scott Norwood in 1990, Gibril knocking Moss out of the game as Tuck and Osi get after Brady. And I thought I was alone. Until this week's Sports Illustrated when the Giants were on the cover (one of the worst curses of all to be carrying) and that motherfucker Dr. Z picked the Giants for the exact reasons why I am scared to think they could win. I am already nervous and stressed. And there are 11 days to game time.
However, the thing I am scared of most of all is a promise that will most likely be broken. My Dad and I agreed a few years back that we would go to the Super Bowl if the Giants made it, never realizing (I mean who would) that they would be where they are right now. And with about 95% assuredness, we will not be at that game. And I am scared that the Giants will win, I will not be there, and I will have missed the greatest upset in Giants history. Yea this probably sounds selfish and whiny and complaining, but I keep having images of Tom Coughlin and Michael Strahan and Amani Toomer and Eli Manning talking into the camera of next year's America's Game, and thinking about what could have been. And whether or not I will ever see that again.
That being said. Go Giants.
(Expect more posts of these sorts as the Super Bowl approaches, I am sorry but that is all I got to post on right now. Much love)
Topic 1) Last night I had my second fantasy baseball-related dream. Towards the end of last season, I had a dream in which Brad Hawpe died, a solid yet unspectacular member of my championship team. I don't really remember what happened, other than me running around with my hands on my head saying "Brad Hawpe died?!?" While sleeping last night, I had myself experiencing a similar sentiment of distress; as commissioner, I had forgotten to set up the league before the season started. I'm sure there exist an immense amount of psychological analysis that can be applied to these horrid nightmares, but I just use them to realize how dedicated I am to the sport. Yes, the sport.
Topic 2) I just accidentally deleted the entire "Memo" on my phone where I keep my observations, so now I have nothing to base the rest of this entry on.
Topic 3) I'm watching TV right now. MadTV is so fucking stupid I can't stand it. Why is this show on all the time? Why do these actors suck? Who writes this shit? Why do I keep watching it? These are just a few of the questions I have about this disgrace to comedy and greater humanity.
Topic 4) MadTV ended and now I'm watching Discovery channel. After multiple failed tries, this cheetah finally suceeded in taking down a small wildebeest. What I don't get is why the rest of the herd just walks around honking and looking at their comrade getting eaten alive. If a few of them just walked up and poked the cheetah and snorted it would run away, but they don't. It's almost as if they understand the concept of natural selection and nature's need for predators. Probably not.
Topic 5) Yesterday my macroeconomics teacher passed around a sheet of paper on which every student was to write their name, year, intended major, and a little something about themself. Being the inquisitive being I am, when the paper came to me I of course snuck a peak at some other people's entries. Some girl wrote her name, year, major, and then summed up the rest of herself with, "I love God and music!"
Wow. I just put down "sports and good food".
Topic 6) An Animal Planet narrator was just pointing out how intelligent octopuses are, and then proceeded to explain that the female will lay 50,000 eggs but not eat for 3 months because she has to protect the eggs, and after the massive birth, the mom dies. A kid on my hall observed "well, that's not very smart". A very astute observation, indeed.
RIP Bobby Fischer.
Check out the tits on the...nevermind. Well, atleast check out the eyes on the one in the...nevermind.
The night before I left for what ended up being one of the most memorable ideas of my life, I came up with the idea that I should copy Bill Simmons, which I admit I did in all aspects, to chronicle my trip to Dallas for the Giants-Cowboys game. Now I did my best to give pretty regular updates t give you some insight into my brain on one of the biggest and most emotional days of my life. (I know I stole this idea, but I figure this would tell the tale of the trip well.) I took notes in my phone, and here they are without edits.
5:26- Wake up. I haven't slept all night to begin with. My outfit for the biggest game in recent memory: Boxers, tufts shorts, tufts warm-ups, white T, red waffle weave, blue anything shirt, giants hoodie, white socks, New Balances, Giants beanie for good measure.
5:36- Departure for airport. No physiological problems yet to report. My dad thinks "waiting for the bus on a Sunday morning would be the worst thing in the world".
5:46- "Who flies on a Sunday"- Me
"Old People"- Dad
6:04- Arrived at the airport. Babies crying, long lines. First instance of chest pain.
6:29- I am in row 10. Good sign #1 on the day.
12:18- Dallas time. Slept the whole flight. Time to go. I didn't realize how annoying Texas accents were. It's like being around a million Jimmie Johnson's.
12:27- Check Chargers-Colts for the first time. Colts up 7-0 with Rivers throwing a pick. It was only a matter of time until Rivers and Turner played like, in the words of Warren Sapp: "gay porn". (I was sadly mistaken here).
12:42- I realize that I really enjoy being a fan in the opposition city. I mean I really enjoy it. There's no way to not be an asshole, so you better flaunt your support. I also think I had one of the members of the rap group Shop Boyz on my flight.
12:55- Second instance of bodily pain coming from the ballpark of my appendix.
1:28- Tommy (a 40 yr. old man), one of our entourage, calls "shotgun".
1:33- We're making fun of Arizona for not celebrating MLK Day.
1:40- We're 2 1/2 miles from President George Bush Highway. Texas for Texans!
2:06- A plane passes over head. It reads: "Good luck Tony. Love, Jessica". You gotta love Giants games.
2:22- A women walks up to our car to ask where she can pee (despite traffic). Mayhem ensues.
2:30- We have been in traffic almost an hour. We will not be seeing kickoff. Dallas sucks. (We made it to kickoff)
2:34- If we're lucky we'll be there by the 3rd quarter.
2:49- We're playing football in the grass (while in traffic). Except the grass is like fucking cacti. Everything's better in Dallas.
3:00- 30 minutes to game time. The chest pain has officially started.
3:30- "I've never been so nervous in my life"- text to Michael.
3:47- Kickoff. I have consumed 6 beers and 1 hot dog all day. The chicks scream loudest in Dallas.
3:56- Giants 7-0. Cowboys fans starts talking about the boys being in the same night as the Pats last night. I kindly remind him the Cowboys lost to the Pats. Asshole.
4:14- Bradshaw is officially my favorite Giant. Feagles pins them. We're surrounded my drunk Giants fans.
4:18- I can't stand Marion Barber.
4:23- Girls in Texas try hard to look good.
4:29- I fucking knew they were throwing a fade. That TD is all on Spags.
4:57- Cowboys driving hard again. I'm down in the dumps. We can't stop them if our life depended on it.
5:04- 14-7 Cowboys. Fuck. I feel like I'm gonna throw up and/or die.
5:15- Wow Eli wow. I'm scared to write.
5:43- We hold them to a FG. That's a minor victory.
5:55- Punt. I'm really starting to worry.
6:09- I will let Ahmad Bradshaw have sex with my wife on our honeymoon. I'm very buzzed.
6:23- I do not like Brandon Jacobs.
6:35- You could cut the tension with a knife (cliche I know).
6:41- Best sporting event of my life. I'm hooked on playoff sports.
6:45- I'm having a coronary. I wish you guys could feel this.
6:52- I don't believe it. I love you all.
Out like (fill in all 28 other teams here).
On my drive down to Palo Alto yesterday I made somewhat of a bonehead move in my vehicle. It was kind of a close call, especially being all rainy and whatnot, but it got me thinking back to the only time I'd ever REALLY fucked up behind the wheel.
It was a Saturday morning of Junior year, and I had just recently gotten my license. I was driving down to Thurgood Marshall to take the SAT, and who else but ol' Lonny Baxter was following me because he didn't know the way himself. I was driving down some street perpendicular to Geary and was preparing to make a left on Geary when the light turned red JUST as I got there. Needless to say, I was flustered. The light took friggin' forever, and there were absolutely no cars in sight the entire time. I even considered just gunning it through the red, but remembered Ilan behind me and realized I would be a bad role model to do such a nonsensical thing. So the light is about to turn green when a Range Rover comes over the hill towards me. For some reason, I just assumed the because I had been waiting there so goddamn long and he had just gotten there, that I had the right of way and he wasn't allowed to go at that green light. I pulled out into the middle of the street and started my left hand turn and realized the dude was coming straight at me really fast, and one really long BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and a magnificent swerve from the other driver later, I had pulled over to the side of the road thinking about how much of a douchebag I was. Lonny Baxter was laughing his head off, half in horror that I could be so retarded and half because he was glad I was ok.
Why do I mention this, you ask? Well, I was thinking about how incidents like that can completely alter your future, even if they're unbelievably slight and seem unimportant at the time. Say I had been hit by that car, and had been seriously injured. Obviously that would have a huge impact on the rest of my life. But what if it was just a minor injury? Still, it could have completely changed my future. Maybe I was too injured to run Cross Country, and then didn't have the same season I had. I would never have gotten into Stanford, and I would probably be down at USC making an entirely new group of friends, exploring a very different part of California, and just doing different things in general. Also, then I would still be a chunky ol' fella like I was pre-XC. That in turn could have affected the amount of poonani I would have gotten (which is laughable already, I might add), and maybe even had self-esteem effects or some shit. Ok, that's a bit extreme. But it's just so weird how things that seem like they don't matter can put you on a different track in so many different ways. Not necessarily a worse track by any means, but just different.
One last example: say I decide to walk down to Starbucks. I decide to go down Spruce Street right towards it, and have an uneventful walk down there and back. But what if I had gone down Locust and ran into, say, Greg Schram's mom. Say I have an awkward-ass conversation with her, and then she goes home and tells Greg I'm around who proceeds to call me to hang out (which happens from time to time). Maybe then that evening I play video games with Greg instead of doing any number of other things, like go to a concert where I'd potentially run into a new rapper I like, or see a movie that ends up being the topic of conversation with a fine lady and eventually leads to more conversation which gets me into her pants? Or perhaps I have such a good time with Greg Schram that night that I get hooked on World of Warcraft (which I'm sure if I played it often I would, I admit I love that kind of shit) and proceed to make friends with all the gamers at UHS and hang out with them instead of y'all. Isn't it crazy how all that shit could potentially start with making a tiny little decision like which route to take to go to Starbucks?
Anyway, that's the stuff that was stewing in ol' HomelessNigg's head today. Future memoirs will certainly be more comedic in nature. F'sho.
Out like Bolton from the FA Cup.
Well that bittersweet time of year has arrived, as the regular season has ended for 3/8 of the teams in the league, including the beloved 49ers, leaving us with 12 teams in the NFL playoffs. Now as much as I love the playoffs, and I do love them recently considering the Giants have been in them the past three year, I always feel sad by the time they roll around as I know that my team has at best only really 2 weeks left on their schedule and the season is a month from its end. I literally do not have any ideas of what I will do on Sundays from February on, the best I can come up with is to write a playbook.
Now over the course of the season I was sort of off-and-on with my picks and while I know that hardly anyone else cares, I wanna see how I did. I finished 113-63 in picking winners giving me a .642 winning percentage. Against the spread however, I finished a whopping 78-90-8 or a .443 winning percentage. Comparatively last year I had a .525 and .4625 winning percentage respectively, but I wasn't counting ties.
Now on to the playoffs. I plan on picking winners for the playoffs, but this week I'll throw in the spreads cause I've spent some time pondering them.
Redskins @ Seahawks: I really like the Redskins for some reason (I think it probably has to do with my east-coast football bias, I am now willing to acknowledge it) but I think the Seahawks will squeak this one out. The Redskins have all the right intangibles going for them, but I think Todd Collins has to poop the bed at some point and playing at the artificial-crowd-noise-enhanced Qwest Field, I see him not only pooping the bed but throwing up in it and then waking up in it the next morning and retiring from embarrassment. That being said, it will be close and the Redskins will cover.
Jags @ Steelers: I feel like that everything that I could say about this match-up has been said a thousand times already by every commentator on ESPN and the NFL Network. I like the Jags, but I don't like that they are Vegas favorites and the fact that everyone including the Best Man at my parents' wedding are jocking the Jags. It's very hard to win at Heinz field, and to do it twice would be epic. I want the Jags to win, but I'm sorry to say that I am picking the Steelers, meaning that they will cover as well.
Giants @ Bucs: Now I could talk about this match-up for weeks and I just might have to right here. I like the Giants offense over the TB offense a lot. I like the Bucs defense over the Giants defense only a little. A lot of the people I have seen are picking the Giants which is a bad sign for the Giants (we do better under the radar) but I do love our 7-1 away record and a not-so-difficult match-up. If their QB wasn't Jeff Garcia I would love this game but I have watched at least four of the 5 times he has played the Giants and I believe he won all 4. We need a a solid pass rush, and once we get that, if we prevent the scramble, we will win. I'm going with my team, and that means they cover as well.
Titans @ Chargers: The worst game of these playoffs potentially. It would be much more interesting if the Browns had made it instead of the Titans. I am not sold at all on the Titans, and I think they are a truly mediocre team. The Chargers win, they cover, and they win big.
Divisional Rd.
Steelers @ Pats: I think this game will be much closer this time around, and I actually think the Steelers could really give the Pats a scare. That being said, the Pats are fucking surgical this year, and I think they pull away in the 4th quarter to win this game by a comfortable margin.
Chargers @ Colts: My prediction for this game is that the Chargers take an early lead, and then Norv Turner pulls a BME Pain Olympics with his team and hatchets their collective balls off and the Chargers blow their lead. The Colts are under the radar in the sense that everyone is saying they are under the radar, and I think they will be sharp for this game and after the early scare, cruise past a puzzled Norv Turner.
Seahawks @ Packers: Are the Packers built for the cold weather of their own field? Are the Seahawks? I actually would answer no to both questions. If the Giants make it to Green Bay through a Redskins win, I will actually be feeling very good about that game. That being said, in a cold, blustery, Lambeau tundra game, you gotta go with Brett Favre. So that's what I'll do.
Giants @ Cowboys: The Giants have been beaten down like a little brother by the Cowboys twice this year, and despite the fact that it's near impossible to beat a team three times in one year, I think the Cowboys match-up too well against the Giants. If they are without TO it could be a close and interesting game, but I think the Cowboys strength on both sides of the line win out in this game 9/10 times.
Conference Championships:
Packers @ Cowboys: I would venture that by this time, TO will be close to healthy, and I like the Cowboys in this match-up. I think the Cowboys are the best team to come out of the NFC in some while, and I think that they will make the Super Bowl despite the opponents they face.
Colts @ Pats: This is the match-up everyone is hoping for and waiting for as the new sort of "America's team" goes up against the evil empire of New England and Emperor Belichick with Darth Moss and Darth Brady. Correction Darsh Moss and Brady. I know there might be some dispute of me calling the Colts America's team, but I think they honestly get a lot more support from casual fans and as people's second favorite team because Peyton Manning is in more commercials than the Verizon guy and Jared. Plus he's good. However, if anyone can see the Colts knocking the Pats out of the playoffs two years in a row I think they might want to remember how this team has embraced the revenge, bad-guy element, and I think the Pats will beat the shit out of the Colts in one of those blustery New England days. This one I think could harken back to the snow game they played a few years back where Manning just got eaten alive.
Super Bowl:
Cowboys vs. Pats: Real original match-up Alex. Right? Well I can't see the playoffs playing out anyway. And I can't see the Pats losing. Fuck. Gay.
Out like Martina Hingis on blow.
I've never seen this movie.I have come to realize that daydreaming is one of the more underrated activities one can participate in. I used to really only do it in class and mid-poop (for some reason, I've never read on the shitter), but I have so much free time at school and at home that I've found myself daydreaming alot more. It's like dreaming, and though it's not as real, it's way more tight because unless you're really fucked up, daydreams are always totally awesome, because you can make anything you want happen.
I don't know about the rest of you, but for me there are a few scenarios I routinely play out in my head that don't involve boobs. One of these is a hypothetical journey back in time to the medieval days, but as an Army Ranger, Navy S.E.A.L, or something hella tight of the sort, armed to the teeth.
For some reason the thought of traveling back to the 1300s or so with a modern-day arsenal is really appealing to me. The situation usually develops in this manner: I stumble across some castle, demand a meeting with the Lord or whoever, display the awesome firing capacity of an AK-47, get observed as some sort of angel, and eventually scare off a whole army with a couple rounds, grenades, or a showcase of the microwave, consequently saving my adopted people. By this time, class is over or I have finished pooping, and I leave feeling much better about myself and the world I live in, because I totally just kicked a bunch of medieval ass all by myself.
However, there is an inherent issue with this fantasy; how much stuff are you allowed to bring back in time with you? Bringing, say, a tank back would be unbelievable because you could just blow down hella castle walls and run over hella people, but that's not really fair. Recently I've decided that a plausible compromise would be that you can really only bring enough to fit in a big backpack, plus whatever you can fit directly on your person.
So here's my list:
1) A mini-flamethrower. It has to be small, because a real one would just be take the place of the backpack, which severely limits your potential. But the ability to produce fire from your hands would definitely have a ton of pull in 1324.
2) An AK-47, with two of those long-ass bullet chains.
3) 10 grenades on a belt.
4) 10 land-mines.
5) A battery-powered microwave. This obviously has no military purpose, but in terms of spooking easily-spooked medieval people, being able to cook a slice of pig in a box with no fire would be pretty fucking spooky. It's all about mind-control, people.
6) A battery-powered portable DVD player with Gladiator and Dumb and Dumber (I thought alot about the movie choice.) The reason I chose these movies is two-fold; for one, I like them so I'd bring them for my own personal entertainment. Secondly, Gladiator would be cool because it would be showing them something that already happened that they might have records of, and Dumb and Dumber would provide a unique test of whether or not humor transcends time.
7) A lot of batteries.
8) A nudie-magazine.
9) A pound of marijuana.
10) A huge bong, dude.
I feel like this is a pretty solid list. Now that I showed you mine, can you show me yours?
Out like the WAC.
!aaaaarrrrjjj is nineteeen. and SCHLOAPPPPP IS 18. and jesus is.. 2007?
enough said
but mike what the fuck are you talking about
So last night after an eventful and fun evening me abriendo bitches and hungry for tacos capped of the night with a lovely taste of California’s finest. Afterwards all I wanted to do was come home get in my nice comfortable bed with clean sheets (a luxury considering I have only washed my sheets at school twice this semester) and jerk it before bed. While it was hard to put of this task in such a state, I decided I would first check soccernet to see what was happening with Chelsea. While reading an article I was forced to listen to the streaming video with Tommy Smith some Turkish fuck named Janush fagmanuk and another washed up analyst who can only make it onto a soccer sites pop up video. After the big four all clashed this weekend and Arsenal and Manchester both came out on top they had all decided it has now become a two horse race.
Moments before I had been in a great mood but I found myself fuming as I realized these jackasses who cannot even get their facts straight are the ones influencing potential fans who are just starting to appreciate the game of soccer. Chelsea has had a stigma attached to them ever since Roman bought the club and they certainly deserved a bit of that considering the money they spent. Arsenal Man U and Liverpool have huge histories strong academy programs and an aura around them that attracts big players and breeds success. Chelsea were forced to buy their way into that elite club and for that they received a great deal of scrutiny. However, now that we have established ourselves and have had continued success the spending has been cut back and we are developing both English and foreign young talents. Yet still we get all the shit, when really the other big clubs deserve a great deal more. Man U spent a ridiculous 50 million dollars this summer, 22 million of which was for Anderson who hasn’t done shit. Liverpool also spent way more than Chelsea (we only paid a transfer fee for Malouda who has been great), and Arsenal, while I respect Wenge. r and their style of play, has only fielded one English player, Walcott, all season, something that certainly has negative consequences for the English national team and the EPL in general.
I for one love having constructive conversations or arguments about soccer and Chelsea or whatever but I really hate it when retarded ignorant fucks know less about the game than the average fan, and they are the ones giving ammo for other ignorant fags who wanna talk shop with me. For example, Janush believes that Man U are the favorites to win the title. His main reason was the African cup of nations and the fact that Arsenal and Chelsea loose a large number of players for the competition. While this is true for Chelsea it is not for Arsenal. He specifically mentioned the fact that Adebayor would be absent for Arsenal… Check your facts dumbshit Togo didn’t qualify for the tournament so Adebayor will be staying put. I could list countless other examples from this one clip I watched but it would take to long and I need to take a shit, but let me just say its time people start showing Chelsea a little bit of respect. I don’t care if you don’t like them and if you want to support a team whose gonna get relegated (hungry for tacos) but at least check your facts when you criticize or don’t speak at all.
Out like Man U Liverpool and Arsenal from the champions league
Now I can't speak for Mr. Juanfeesh, but over my first semester at college, new music hasn't been as easy to come by as I hoped. In response, I found myself downloading Wu-Tang Classics, such as Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, and previews of upcoming shit, such as Rae's Vatican Mixtapes. So when I heard that Wu-Tang was dropping a new album, first to be released in November and then postponed til December, I went straight to Amazon.com and ordered myself up a copy, which finally came today.
Now since I picked up the album roughly six hours ago, I have listened to it straight through three times. The one thing that has struck me most about the album is the frequent lack of coherence between the rappers on each track. You don't see the back and forth verbal sparring present say on GZA's Shadowboxing or Method Man's Meth vs. Chef. Also, each verse is often separated by a hook or a few bars from the sample, preventing the rhymes from flowing into another, as demonstrated by Biggie and Meth on The What, or most of Raekwon's Guillotine (Swordz). Mr. Feesh asserts that to "the loss of ODB, who was one of the best at transitioning into his flow". While I agree with that to some extent, it's also important to note that Wu-Tang's best years and most cohesive years came more than 10 years ago, so to expect that sort of continued unity from the group may be unreasonable.
That being said, I along with Juanfeesh consider this to be a masterpiece. It has a different feel from Enter the Wu-Tang, but that does not prove to be a bad thing. The album starts off powerfully with Campfire and Take it Back, two more classical sounding Wu-Tang tracks. Method Man has the first verse on the album, and he spits gasoline that he ignites into fire throughout the rest of the album. U-God comes hard as one of the forgotten members on Take It Back, and he has a powerful presence throughout the album.
The album is at its strongest on tracks 4, 6, and 7- Rushing Elephants, While the Heart Gently Weeps, and Wolves respectively. Rushing Elephants has an old school angry Wu sound, perfectly captured in Masta Killah's verse. The Heart Gently Weeps is Feesh's "song of the year" and I would call it one of the best tracks I've heard in a while. Each verse is hot, as three of the best spitters of the group, Rae Face and Meth, absolutely destroy it, with Meth sounding like Cheese from the Wire in what I think might be the best verse of the album. The next song, Wolves, has a sort of funk feel to it with George Clinton on the chorus, and U-God once again laying down a great verse.
The second half has a sort of darker feel, and slowly Ghostface fades from the album and GZA begins to take over. There are two quirky tracks that feature primarily RZA that don't work particularly well with the rest of the album, and I would bet are part of the cause of the controversy in the group.
The album ends strongly with three powerhouse songs, starting with Windmill which according to Juan "has that old Wu-Tang feel as well, but it adds new elements that are from a newer era, especially with the sampling of a little riff from the Kill Bill soundtrack, an homage to the RZA's more recent past." I like Rae's verse on this as he speeds it up a bit. Next is Weak Spot which for John is "is undeniable in its mastery". GZA destroys it in a Liquid Swords fashion, reminding us that he just might be the best pure lyricist of the group. The CD ends with Life Changes, the ODB homage track noticeably missing Ghostface. It's a powerful track, but one that serves to highlight the lack of coherence in the group.
Since each rapper seems so isolated in the album I'm giving each a grade. Method Man deserves an A+ as he sounds the hungriest of all the members, and doesn't drop a single bad verse. U-God and Masta Killa get an A and A- respectively, as they assert their presence with authority. I thought U really was the surprise of the album. I would give Rae and GZA each a B+ as while they bring it on a couple of tracks, they are either missing or sound soft on one or two others. RZA gets a B for solid production and a couple good verses, but his two solo songs bring down the album. Inspectah Deck disappoints in my book, earning him a B-, and Ghostface doesn't come hard when he's on the album, and remains absent for most of it, meriting a C+. I think he might be buying into his own hype a little much.
That being said I'd give the album a solid 4 Tacos out of 5. While Mr. Feesh gives it a 4.5/5.
And I cannot wait to see them on concert on the 27th. I wouldn't be surprised if this was one of the last few times they tour together as a group.
The rest I leave to Senor Feesh, who chose his three favorite tracks + a little bonus:
Campfire - This song is produced masterfully, in starting with a scene around a campfire, it slowly transitions into a bad-ass rap track. It tells a story, not only in the lyrics, but in the way that the beat transforms slowly over the course of the song.
The Heart Gently Weeps Featuring Erykah Badu, Dhani Harrison & John Frusciante - I would call this one of my songs of the year. This version, unlike the leak that came out a couple of months ago, is mixed perfectly. a monumental achievement. Erykah badu and Dhani Harrison (the kin of sampled Beatle's member the late George Harrison) lay it down smoothly, and John Frusciante continues to impress me in the work that he does outside of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, showing to me that he is one of the most forward thinking guitarists in the rock game right now.
Weak Spot - My favorite beat from the album. RZA is surely one of the best producers of all time; his sound is different than anything else out there, and GZA kills it. I love it.
BONUS: Scarface - Dollar | A track off of his new album, MADE. I have only given it a couple of listens, but so far so good. This track has an old school Scarface beat, accompanied by some great rhymes, but is slower than his older work. The verses are pretty hot, but the chorus is a little soft for my conventional B.A.M.F. Scarface affliction. I still dig. Buy both albums, Wu first and Scarface second.
Out like Penny from Miami.
The whole quote goes like this: we love you Rodney, and secondly you can kiss my back side," Billick said. "But, I don't take offense to what Rodney did and I hope he doesn't misinterpret my gestures, because he's not that good-looking a guy."
Nice one Brian Billick.
Big post I got for you this week: picks, Weezy and some videos so let's get it started. Last week I went 11-5 in picks and am standing at 102-58 (not counting my 0-1 so far this week) and went 8-8 against the spread putting me at 70-82-8 (not counting another 0-1). Let's get it on for Week 14.
Jags, Panthers +11 over Jags. Why a Panthers cover? Cause the Jags are gonna have a little let down after playing very, very well against the Colts.
Cowboys, Cowboys -11 1/2 over Lions. Memo to John Kitna: Why doesn't Jesus love you anymore? I hope the Lions get fucked after what he said last year and I hope Terrance Newman comes through on his promise: "He better just hope I don't blitz off the edge, because I've got 15, 25, 30 (thousand dollars), however much it would be for a fine. I've got that much for one fine."
Dolphins, Dolphins +7 over Bills. That's right, this is the week they break the streak. I'm gonna be honest, I'm rooting for them to win. I don't want to hear about an 0-16 team all offseason.
Packers, Packers -11 over Raiders. Brett Favre better be healthy for the playoffs. Fantasy football playoffs that is.
Chargers, Chargers, -1 1/2 over Titans. I just can't pick Titans games right. The Chargers look to have a little momentum going right now though.
Bucs, Bucs -3 over Texans. Fucking Texans, I needed you to cover last week.
Rams, Rams (NL) over Bengals. Don't ask why, just a gut feeling.
Giants, Giants +3 over Eagles. We win this week, we're as good as in. No Wilson, Ward, Kiwi, and probably Pierce, and wounded Butler, Ross, Smith, Jacobs, and Burress won't help though.
Cardinals, Cardinals +7 over Seahawks. I really don't think the Seahawks are good. And I loved seeing everyone say Sean Alexander is overrated cause I've felt that way for years.
Vikings, 49ers +9 1/2 over Vikings. I think I have picked more Niners games wrong than anyone else. I probably will this week too.
Pats, Pats -10 1/2 over Steelers. I bet the Pats get no calls their way this week.
Browns, Browns -3 1/2 over Jets. You gotta love Bill Simmons ruining the Browns last week by calling them his money cover team.
Broncos, Broncos -7 over Chiefs. The Chiefs are really, really bad. And I'm starting to get really, really sick of Jared Allen, one of my new least favorites.
Colts, Colts -10 over Ravens. Bummer for the Ravens last week. That's all I can think of to say cause the pundits have literally said everything else.
Saints, Saints -3 1/2 over Falcons. If you thought the Saints would only be favored by 3+ against the Falcons at the beginning of the year, people would have called you crazy.
Now here's some new Weezy for all you, this shit is hotter than a sauna:
Birdman Feat. Lil' Wayne and Fat Joe- Make Way
And two youtube gems. I expect you may have seen them, but they still deserve a spot on the blog. One is in honor of tonight's fight:
Good God, twice in the span of two weeks I am truly saddened to report something to you. Apparently early this morning, Pimp C, one half of the duo UGK was found dead in an LA hotel. This is a huuuuuge loss for rap music as Pimp was a stalwart producer and him and Bun B really helped Houston on the map in the rap scene. Plus when I was little his verse on Big Pimpin' was fire and my favorite on the song. UGK made some waves with their double CD earlier this year (I'm not gonna lie, I thought International Players Anthem was one of the songs of the year) and Sweet Jones had just been released from jail this past year. First Sean Taylor, now this, this is not been a fun couple weeks.
RIP PIMP C
In memorium is the song with my favorite Pimp C verse:
Three 6 Mafia- Sippin' on Da Syrup (Feat UGK)
Pour a little Manischewitz for him tonight on Chanukah.
Here are a couple more little ditties I've found recently:
Lupe Fiasco- Dumb it Down
This song isn't necessarily new, and despite not being the biggest Lupe fan (I liked a few of his songs but people were riding him way too hard. No homo.) this song is real hot. The Leon Spinks reference has to be the best part.
Al Fatz- Brim Low
I know I showed a few of you this track during break, and I want to grace you with its presence. On a more serious note Fatz's raps sound exactly like the ones from Came Down and this song would be balls without the "Little Drummer Boy" sample. Merry Christmas bitches.
Glasses Malone Feat. Akon- Certified
If I was in my Highlander on 18's this is what I'd be bumping through my JBL's. If you haven't heard of Glasses, get to know him. I think Game might have found him, and he has his own label on Cash Money despite not having dropped anything yet. Him and Bishop Lamont are the up and comers from the West to look out for. And guess who produced it? DJ Toomp. The man behind T.I.'s "What You Know" and Jay-Z's "Say Hello". I've found a new favorite producer. No homo.
Out like Weezy in Bape.
(He's not wearing it anymore cause Clipse said they were the hottest rappers to wear it)
This is the video for the new Snoop Dogg video. It might be one of the best music videos ever as far as I am concerned, Snoop Dogg lets out all the stops, including the "PLAY" that shows up on the top corner of the screen for added authenticity. A visual masterpiece, unrivaled since the days when there were no wheel-chair ramps, and we feared the Ruskies (though I still do). It also seems like rap is moving toward a style that is much slower, almost stonie-rap, as can be heard from Devin the Dude, B.O.B., some Weezy, some UGK, and now this...
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T60KNNT0
Tracklist:
That's right I'm back like cooked crack with my picks after a two week hiatus. I also got a little gift for all of you at the end of the post. Make sure to check it out. The last time I did picks (pre-Thanksgiving break) I went 7-7 making me 91-53, and against the spread I did 5-8-1 making me 62-74-8. With only five weeks left I'm looking to turn this ship around. Let's do it...
(Note, lines are not from bodog cause they don't have them for all games this week yet)
Cowboys, Packers +7 over Cowboys. Brett keeps it close, but can't quite make up for the inequality of talent.
Rams, Rams -3 over Falcons. The Falcons despite their record are way worse than the Rams.
Bills, Bills +6 over Redskins. Skins are still gonna be in shock over the loss of Sean Taylor (RIP), and they don't strike me as a team who can pull together and overcome this easily.
Minnesota, Vikings -3 1/2 over Lions. This may be wishful thinking, but I do think the Vikings are a good team and the Lions are crumbling.
Houston, Texans +3 1/2 over Titans. Titans are starting to slide and the Texans are a much better team with Andre Johnson.
Indianapolis, Jags +6 1/2 over Colts. The Jags are looking real sharp and the Colts are still iffy right now in my book.
Jets, Jets +1 1/2 over Dolphins.A 0-11 team should not be a favorite. Ever.
San Diego, Chargers -5 1/2 over Chiefs. The Chargers are still only half decent but the Chiefs are not that good. Philip Rivers sucks.
Seattle, Seahawks +3 over Eagles. Definitely wishful thinking, but the Seahawks at home are tough to beat.
Niners, Niners +3 over Panthers. For some reason the Niners always seem to have the Cards number. Both of these teams are pretty bad though.
Tampa Bay, Bucs +3 over Saints. The Saints are overrated. And Reggie Bush really needs to prove he's worth all the hype. P.S. He's waaaaay too good in Madden.
Browns, Browns -1 over Cardinals (Bodog line). This is by far the hardest game to pick this week. The Browns have been the money cover team for a while now, but I got a bad gut feeling about this game.
Denver, Broncos -3 1/2 over Raiders. I wanna see JaMarcus Russel by the end of this year.
Bears, Bears +2 over Giants. Kill me now. It feels like the same old Giants. I'm praying they prove me wrong.
Bengals, Bengals +7 over Steelers. Who knows how good the Steelers are at this point. Always a fun rivalry game to watch.
Pats, Pats -21 over Ravens. They'll get right back on track this week.
Bonus:
Wyclef Featuring Akon, Lil' Wayne, and Raekwon- Sweetest Girl (Remix)
You gotta get this. It samples C.R.E.A.M.
Out like George Bluth.
I am sure almost everyone has heard about this already today, but Redskins safety Sean Taylor was shot late last night in an attempted robbery. Apparently he was hit in the leg and the bullet wounded Taylor's femoral artery, leaving him in critical condition at this point. From what I can tell it doesn't sound very good as he has been described as "non-responsive and unconscious". Read the whole article here.
I know here at Dress Archie we don't get serious very often, but I think now is an appropriate time. Even though Sean Taylor is a Redskin, I can still remember back to the 2004 Draft when people were calling for the Giants to pick him instead of Eli, and despite his off-the-field issues, Taylor is one of the most fun safeties to watch in the league. Hopefully he'll make a full recovery so we are able to see him play again.
I think I can speak for everyone at Dress Archie in wishing Taylor the best.
Before Thanksgiving, a couple of us were watching ESPN and listened to the legendary Bill Walton spit some truth about the Celtics; I can't remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of "the Celtic fans are finally coming out like seeds in Death Valley after that one final elusive rain"...something like that. Basically this guy is a quote machine, and here is an unbelievable one:
WHAT? I mean. What? That guy Frank Caliendo does good impersonations, but sometimes there's nothing better than the original.
After DJR (Juanfeesh, that should be your MC name) and DJ Hart offered up their super-top-secret mixtapes to the public, you knew MC Dre Boner would eventually have to get in the mix. As I mentioned in my most recent diary entry, I’d been absolutely swamped with work, but now that I won’t have any big assignments until finals, let’s get the ball rolling.
I’m going to admit this isn’t really a mixtape; instead, it’s more like a plug for a few hot albums I’ve come upon recently. Also, the new Dipset stuff is admittedly a few weeks old due to me being so busy, but whatever. It’s all money.
MC Dre Boner (Free, but donations appreciated. Please make all checks out to the "Dress Archie Hunter Fund".)
Can’t Hurt My Style – Cam’ron, off of his new mixtape Public Enemy #1. This is a standard Killa Cam track; straight militaristic with some funky shit thrown in. Mr. Giles flames “like Benihanas” in this one.
Child of the Ghetto – Cam’ron, Public Enemy #1. Apparently Cam is “filet mignon”, and we’re all just “steak ‘ums”. Gotta love it.
Cha Ching – Cam feat. Hell Rell, Public Enemy #1. Nation of Thizzlam and DJ Hart gave some love to “Just Us” and “Hot Mess”, two great songs off this same mixtape, but I’m convinced that “Cha Ching” takes the cake. If someone asked me what Dipset sounds like, I’d probably play them “Monster Music”, and then this song. Hell Rell claims he “packs the toast, but you hogging the butter”. Sorry Ruger!
LA Track – Jim Jones, off of Harlem’s American Gangster. I thought this deserved some recognition, because of Hungryfortacos’ most recent post explaining the return of the Roc. Apparently, Jimmy thinks otherwise; this mixtape came out as a diss towards Camel Joe. Basically, Hova is a wanna-be Harlem gangster, while Jones has been repping the town all along. The only issue for me was that pretty much this whole mixtape sucked, except for this track. Even this song sounds like it was thrown together way too fast.
Smartz – Scarface, off of The Untouchable. This is a major throwback that I recently discovered. Honestly, this album is now easily one of my tops of all time. When it comes to supplying the funky base and head-bobbing tracks, Scarface puts all others to shame.
Sunshine – Scarface feat. Lisa Crawford, The Untouchable. I don’t know who Lisa Crawford is, but she really pulls an Akon on “Beautiful Escape” here (I’m such a bitch); all she says is “sunshine” every now and then. Whatever. Scarface brings it here.
Untouchable – Scarface, The Untouchable. The title track says it all. Scarface comes hard (maybe homo…that phrase is such a layup).
Body Rott – Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, The Art of War. Another old album I unearthed recently. I have no idea what “body rott” is, but the fucking police better do it. OK I just realized that it probably has something to do with dying. Fucking fuzz!
Clog Up Yo Mind – Bone Thugs, The Art of War. “Sit back and let this thug shit clog up yo mind”. Yeah, I’m quoting the song, but I’m also telling you to do it. Great track.
Ottos Journey – Mylo, off of Destroy Rock and Roll. I totally didn’t steal this from DJR. (No) Thanks, Juanfeesh. I was disappointed you didn’t put this on your high playlist, so here it is for all the stoners, ahem, appreciators of synthesizers, out there.
Got To Be There – Toots and the Maytals, off of In The Dark. I was introduced to Toots towards the beginning of school, and I was fortunate enough to see him live in Atlanta about a month ago. Toots is known as Bob Marley’s bassist, and also as the guy credited for coining the phrase “reggae”. He was unbelievable live. Wow this mixtape is really changing course.
Pressure Drop – Toots and the Maytals, In the Dark. You should all recognize this from the famous “Kingston” mixtape that lived, and finally died, in the namesakes old Saab. That car was teh rox0r.
Sweet and Dandy – Toots and the Maytals, True Love. This album is more upbeat and not as good as In the Dark, but I challenge you; try not to get up and start hopping around to this one a little after a minute.
Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) – Kenny Rogers & the First Edition, from the Big Lebowski Soundtrack. I just saw this movie again, and I couldn’t believe I forgot this song, and one of the best tripper video montages I can remember.
Oh My God – Michael Franti, from Stay Human. So I asked one of the kids from Nashville if he had rap on his iTunes, and he played me this. He even said he had some “bay shit”. First I laughed… then a beautiful relationship was born. Michael Franti is a local guy that’s been slept on, but he’s for real.
Well that’s all for now. If you like this shit, which you should or else you suck, go out and download, ahem, buy The Untouchable, Art of War, and In the Dark. Cam’s mixtape is free and is available off of his myspace. Get on it.
