Euro 2008 thoughts (or more appropriately thought)...

Which would you rather:


or...



As I have watched ESPN's coverage of the Euro 2008's this past few days few things have made me happier than ESPN having only British guys announcing the games. Gone are the days of Marcelo Balboa and all the other American has-been's critiquing the best players in the world. To all non-soccer people out there that would be Brian Scalabrine critiquing Michael Jordan. Or to all you non-basketball people out there Sinbad hating on Richard Pryor.

As I listened to Andy Grey (the color commentator on the FIFA video games of my youth) announce today's soccer game, I found myself to be laughing on multiple occasions and I came to a realization. Almost anything said out of the mouth of a Scotsmen sounds kind of funny. Like when in the Portugal game where the keeper came out and the other announcer called it a move of confidence and Grey responded "Confidence? Extravagence I would call it" or in today's game where the other announcer commented that a ball kicked out of bounds was to no one and Grey said "No it wasn't. It was kicked perfectly to that guy in the 7th row".

If British announcers are so funny and good at announcing for soccer would they translate well to other sports? I for one believe they would. British announcers are critical of players, unlike American announcers (watch Chris Berman talk about Brett Favre), and often they let the game speak for itself. I would much rather hear a British dude announce American football, which might be heresy, than hear Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.

Joe Buck: Wow, I can't believe we had to show Randy Moss mooning the crowd.
Troy Aikman: I completly agree with you Joe, because it reminds me of the time I mounted you in a cheap hotel room.


In conclusion: make British announcers announce all Sporting events except for ones involving: Kruk and Kuip, Doc Emrick (he's the guy who does hockey), the guy who does football with the amazing voice, Jon Miller, and Charles Barkley.

Out like reading Bill Simmons.

Widukinds Diary Entry #18

I have perfected my argument for San Francisco Giants fans unabashed support for Barry Bonds during his extensive tenure here in this great city, which comes from a recent revelation I had (definitely not while sitting at work): nobody cheers for shitty players because they happen to be really nice guys. People cheer for great players, and sometimes they conveniently happen to be good guys and good sports. Nobody would have liked Larry Bird if he had sucked. If Larry Bird went out every night bricking free throws, committing dumb fouls, and turning the ball over, would Boston fans cheer for him and still worship him today?
You see, being nice is just icing on the cake. A cake without icing is a brownie. A lot of fucking people like brownies. But nobody likes eating icing. Sure, a scoop or two is nice, and provides you with the opportunity to say "Look, I'm just eating the icing! Lulz..." and to show that you're daring and "going against the grain", but after a while you get sick of it because it's no fun and you just end up looking like an idiot. It's like cheering for Marvin Benard. (I have no idea whether or not he was nice, but he looked kinda friendly, and he did suck.) Everybody else in the country was simply jealous because San Francisco had Barry Bonds, so they had to play on him being an asshole and a liar to use it against us by calling us bad fans. But I can guarantee that none of those people cheered for Marvin Benard. Nobody cares about Marvin Benard. Nobody looked at the Giants in 2000 and said, "You know, Bonds is such a dick, but how 'bout that Benard guy? Wow, is he nice. I'm going to buy his Fathead." People these days make such a big deal when professional athletes are dicks, but nobody cares when a regular dude is nice. People like to rip on Bonds for being a "cheater", an asshole, and a liar. In their eyes, this made San Franciscans (and Bay Areans) bad fans. But until those people can prove that they themselves put personality before stardom in terms of who they root for, those people should shut up. Face it; nobody cares about Marvin Benard. Nobody eats icing.

After fleshing out this argument, I present my indestructible defense of Barry Bonds and us Giants faithful, a list I hope any readers will use in contention of their bigot college friends.
Scenario 1) Some asshole actually tries to bring up the steroids topic in a direct attack on Bonds. This argument is so tired and irrelevant that you might as well take a dump on the person's shoes and just walk away. This tactic is especially effective, because you're essentially saying "You're so low that I deem it worthy to poop on you, but you're so low that I don't even warrant this an appropriate situation in which to expend some significant effort and poop on your face." Everyone did steroids. No one else hit 762. No one else is a member of the 400/400 or 500/500 club. No one else won 7 MVPs. We need to just leave the steroid era behind us, and if that means pretty much forgetting about Barry, then that's a fine compromise with me. Baseball has such an unbelievably bright future right now, and it would be a shame to let the real assholes like Mark Fainaru-Wada and George Mitchell keep ruining it.
Scenario 2) Someone discredits Giant fans intelligence because we continued to support Barry, despite swirling accusations of steroids and the fact that he was a dick. I defended this attack here. If you're too lazy to read that, just do the following: someone says "San Franciscans are all sheep", you say "Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de Frances in a row, after chemotherapy, amid steroid accusations, and while alot of his competitors eventually got linked to doping. But every American still loves him." There are holes, but it works.
Scenario 3) Someone says Barry was not a team player, rude to the media, and an asshole. Probably all true. But to this you can say "He played his ass off in '02 during the World Series, fuck the media, (and then a condensed version of what I wrote above about Marvin Benard and cake)." I haven't tried it out yet, but it's obviously completely foolproof.

I'm out like Barry Bonds playing again. About a third of me would love to see him come back and DH for someone like the Indians, but two-thirds of me realize it's time to let it go, and that it would feel pretty shitty if he happened to win a World Series not in a Giants uniform.

EDIT: Hungryfortacos has kindly reminded me that "Barry is old news". Despite the fact that I say that already in this post, twice, I would like to clarify that yes, he is old news. But people like to argue, and people like to win arguments even more. This post is fsimply or anyone who gets encountered by a Barry hater, because they will be around. Forever.

Wale: The Mixtape About Nothing

Many of you have already heard Wale's newest drop in my car in the past week. Like his first mixtape 100 Miles and Running that was posted on this blog, this new Seinfeld inspired opus is pure gold. Over this past year, Wale has been on the verge of coming out with some material that is going to push him into superstardom, and this newest work may be what he needed to that final push. After a couple of listens through the entire mixtape you start to realize the things that set Wale apart from a lot of other hip hop acts, such as his lyrics, which touch on issues other than bitches, hoes, and Louis Vuitton (there is a mention of Gucci sneaks, but I will let it slide). Another aspect of his music that makes it so grabbing to me is the different tempos that he utilizes in his music. One of my favorite tracks "The Bmore Club Slam" uses a tempo that I have never really recognized in hip hop, and the song BUMPS. Listen to the whole thing through, and although the first half of the album is usually what is listened to, the best tracks come after track 8 or 9. This should not detract from the first half, which is almost equally as good and has featured artists such as Bun B and Pusha T. Favorite tracks: "The Feature Heavy Song", "The Freestyle", "The Manipulation", "The Artistic Integrity", "The Bmore Club Slam", and "The Hype". Enjoy.

Wale - The Mixtape About Nothing

Let me take a trip down memory lane...

The other day I was writing my last paper before finals while listening to Jay-Z's Reasonable Doubt and texting HungryforTacos. Admittedly, Reasonable Doubt is a new album for me. I've always liked Hov's flow but I never got around to collecting his tracks. But, as I listened early to Shaun Carter, I couldn't help but think of his lifetime rival's first album.

Nas' first album, Illmatic, is hands down my favorite album ever. The album came out two years before Jay-Z's debut and despite their regional similarity (Nas is from Queensbridge and Jay-Z is from Brooklyn) the two rappers have very distinct flows. It is almost disappointing how good the album was given Nas' career. The entire album was recorded when Nas was only 19 yet the content and lyrics are some of the smartest and, astoundingly, some of the most profound I've ever been witness too. Here's one example from "Memory Lane":

Rap divine Gods check the prognosis, is it real or showbiz?
My window faces shootouts, drug overdoses
Live amongst no roses, only the drama, for real
A nickel-plate is my fate, my medicine is the ganja

Or this example from "N.Y. State of Mind":

It drops deep as it does in my breath
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined
I think of crime when I'm in a New York state of mind

"Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined"? From a kid on the streets my age? Nas didn't even finish eighth grade. I'm continually impressed. Maybe that was the problem. This album was real, it was when he was still on the streets, still connected. Since then it just hasn't been the same. Besides the lyrics, though, the beats are unbelievable. Check the base lines in "N.Y. State of Mind." Correction, smoke, then check that base. Sick.

Nas - Illmatic (Full Album)

Highlight tracks for those without much time include "It Ain't Hard to Tell," "Represent," "Memory Lane," and "New York State of Mind," a song I believe may be my favorite song ever.

Now I'm sure the more esteemed rap collectors on this blog have had this album forever and this post may feel repetitive, but when was the last time you listened to an Illmatic track? Been a while I bet. (Watch me be wrong of course.)

I'd also be interested in reading some predictions about the upcoming Euro 2008 Cup from some of the more knowledgeable footy fans here.

Wisdom be leaking out my grapefruit

2008 MLB Draft

Three or even two years ago, doing a mock draft for the MLB Draft would be a joke post. Not because it would be impossible to predict the first round, but more because it usually takes draft picks a few years in the minors before they even emerge on the Major League scene. Recently, especially with college hitters and pitchers, the term fast-riser has been thrown around, and some players such as Ryan Zimmerman and Tim Lincecum have made considerable impacts on the Major League level within a year of being drafted. Some people believe David Price, the number 1 overall pick in last years draft, may do the same this year even though he is currently experiencing a run of poor performances in A ball. Combine these fast-risers with the changing free-agent scene, and the draft seems to have become more important in the last few years. ESPN has taken notice. Last year they ran a live broadcast of the entire first round and this year the are covering the draft from 2-9pm on the first day and 11:30am until the end on the second day. Now to me, the first round is the only one worth predicting. These are the players everyone expects to make an impact and everyone has been watching for some time. So here are my predictions for the first round. It’s a long read but it will get less detailed after the first ten picks.

1.Tampa Bay Rays: Buster Posey, C FSU
I can't remember a year (read: exaggeration) when Tampa hasn't had the first pick. Everyone loves them this year but with their run of high picks they would have to be complete morons to have not gotten at least a little better in the last few years. Now they have one of the best minor league systems in the league and a couple of very good players on the verge of becoming real stars in the game. Amazingly, even though they have first pick, I don't think they are going to pick based on best player available. For them it is either Posey or Beckham, based on organizational lead. They have potentially Reid Brignac at shortstop and no one at catcher so I see them going with Posey. Posey is an impressive athlete who was the Seminoles starting shortstop his freshman year who switched over to catcher because the team needed him there more. He's still a little green defensively but most people think with a little more work he's a potential gold glove who can hit above .300. He has a cannon too. He's the closer for the Seminoles and features a fastball of 93 to 96. The only hole people find in him is a lack of plus power. I think that's OK since he's a catcher and catchers aren't usually known for their power. Think Joe Mauer with a little more power and a little less average.

2.Pittsburgh Pirates: Tim Beckham, SS HS
This pick is tough to predict. I think they'll take Beckham because they need a high potential player and it is not like their offense is one hitter away from being a playoff team. Beckham is the best athlete in the draft, a poor-man's Justin Upton with the bat (considerably less power) and a much better defender. A lot of people have him falling to the Giants, which HungryforTacos would love (he's black and fast) but I don't know how much I would like that. Yes, he's a great athlete, and we could really use a shortstop, but he's never shown real power with the bat even though he has fast hands. That scares me and makes him seem like a bit of risk for an organization like the Giants that sucks at developing hitters. Still, he's a nearly five-tool potential and if his power develops (which some scouts say it may because of his lightening quick hands) then you have the potential for a Justin Upton that can actually play middle infield.

3. Kansas City Royals: Brian Matusz, LHP University of San Diego
Solid, three-pitch lefty who has a high ceiling and could be a fast-riser. Extremely polished, good control, gets plenty of strikeouts. A safe pick at the least with a ceiling around Cole Hamels. I like him a lot from the few videos I've seen. The Royals need more young pitchers, although they may go with Alvarez here which would piss me off so much. They already have a lefty-hitting third baseman that is sick. They don't need another one. Assholes.

4. Baltimore Orioles: Gordon Beckham, SS University of Georgia
This is a wild-card pick here because most people have the Orioles looking for a pitcher to replace Bedard. But if Matusz is off the board, the next best is Aaron Crow who was absolutely disgusting to start the season with 43 scoreless innings in a row but he's had some back problems and mechanical issues since then so I think he's going to fall out of the top five. The other Beckham is white and may not be athletic enough to stick at SS on the major league level. Still, I love his bat (no homo). He hits for real power and average already (.402 and 22) and seems very polished. I imagine he could rise very quickly through the minor leagues. If anything, it sounds like scouts think he might focus a bit too much on power and they think he should try for a more line-drive swing. I would also like it if the Giants drafted him.

5. San Francisco Giants: Pedro Alvarez, 3B Vanderbilt
Let me first say I know it is really unlikely that Alvarez falls to number five. I'm just hoping his injury concerns (broke his hand at the beginning of the year) and subsequent lower than normal numbers scare off some teams. Also he's a Scott Boras guy, so that may count out the Pirates and the Orioles. The Giants could not ask for anything more than getting Alvarez with the fifth pick. He's a lefty-hitting third baseman with plus-plus power and an ability to hit for average. The only negative thing I've heard about his swing is his high strikeout totals. I think that is OK because a) as long as he hits for average it shouldn't make much of a difference and b) that may be a result of his injured hand this year. To top it off, most people think he's the most Major League ready of all the potential prospects because of his bat and defense. He would be perfect for the Giants in both the category of Best Player Available and Organization Need. I just have this wonderful image in my brain that has Angel batting third in 2011 backed up by Alvarez batting fourth. Devastating power right there, similar to Bonds and Williams in the 90s. If they don't get Alvarez, I think the Giants go with Justin Smoak, a first baseman from South Carolina. He's a switch-hitting first baseman with as much power as Alvarez and maybe a better potential average hitter. Sounds a lot like Mark Texiera to me. The only reason I like Alvarez better is that Smoak is stuck at first. He's not athletic and it would be very difficult to move him to the outfield with his thick, unathletic legs. So, even if Angel is a ways off, it scares me having a player such as Smoak potentially blocking Angel's rise to the majors. Still, I would be happy if we got either Smoak or Alvarez. Both are fast-rising power bats, which is exactly what the Giants need. I really don't want us to draft a pitcher. We have plenty of young pitchers and no young hitters.

6. Florida Marlins: Aaron Crow, RHP University of Missouri
I’ve talked about him a bit before so I’ll be brief. Some people have the Marlins going with a high-risk, high-reward high school bat like Skipworth but if Crow falls to sixth I think the Marlins will take him. They need a pitcher bad. Real bad. Big guy, big fastball. Plus curveball. He made need to make some mechanical adjustments but I still see him as a nearly MLB ready pitcher. A bit like Greg Jennings.

7. Cincinnati Reds: Kyle Skipworth, C HS
Here’s the high-risk, high-reward player that always goes at the top of the draft. Not everyone is sure that Skipworth can stick at Catcher, but most really like his bat. He had a hit in 18 straight plate appearances, impressive given the fact that he apparently plays in a difficult HS league. Some people have called him the best HS catcher since Mauer, I’d say his ceiling is Victor Martinez but I don’t think he stays at catcher. He’s really good, though.

8. Chicago White Sox: Brett Wallace, 3B/1B Arizona State
This guy is nasty. I really don’t get how people have Hosmer, Alonso, and Smoak over him. I think Smoak has an edge because of his power but Wallace won the Triple Crown in the Pac-10 for the second year in a row. Most people think he’ll always be able to hit for average but some people put him at a ceiling of around 25 homeruns per year. I expect more. He does have a quick, short swing but his legs are tree trunks (some people think he’s really fat) and they supply a significant amount of power. Apparently the White Sox are the only ones that really love him, though, so I see him landing here.

9. Washington Nationals: Eric Hosmer, 1B HS
The consensus best bat in high school hasn’t wowed me to be honest. This is a first base heavy class and I’ve read a few reports that say Hosmer has the highest ceiling. But the only thing every scout says is that his bat is mature well beyond his age. I just don’t see it. I’m worried the Giants will pick him. And he’s another Boras guy.

10. Houston Astros: Shooter Hunt, RHP Tulane
The Astros need a pitcher bad and Shooter may be the best available after Crow and Matusz are gone. A month ago it would have been Tanner Scheppers but injury concerns have pretty much dropped him out of the first round. Shooter just sounds like a Texas player and he’s been a quality college starter so far. A safe pick for sure. If Skipworth gets past the Reds or Marlins, though, they may take him here.

11. Texas Rangers: Justin Smoak, 1B University of South Carolina
I’ve already talked about him a lot in the Giants section so I won’t say much. I don’t actually see him falling this far, though.

12. Oakland Athletics: Yonder Alonso, 1B University of Miami
This seems like the perfect A’s pick. He walks a bunch, rarely strikes out, doesn’t have much power (projects around 20-25 a year at best) but can really hit for average. Good opposite field hitter, too. Miami hitters have a good track record, though, with Ryan Braun being the most recent example.

13. St. Louis Cardinals: Jason Castro, C Stanford University
They may go with a high school bat here, but I think Castro is the safe pick. He’s definitely been overvalued by the fact that he’s a catcher, but Castro can still really hit for average and some power. I think he could be a 15 homeruns a season guy with a nearly .300 average. He hit really well in Cape Cod this past summer and has been the best Cardinal player this year. And he’s an SAE. SAE Stanford catchers have good track records. Yay Ryan Garko. (Also, I just know I’m going to see this comment in the comment section so I’m going to put it in before you guys get the opportunity: The only Stanford player selected in the first round would be named Castro. HAHAHAH. GAY. DURR STANFORD. DUrRR RJAY.)

14. Minnesota Twins: Aaron Hicks, RHP/OF HS
This year’s class if very thin on outfielders and Hicks may have the most potential of all of them. He hit .500 with 32 steals and 4 homerun his senior year. Those are some scary numbers. Another HungryforTacos potential prodigy. And he’s from Long Beach. He is also a potential pitcher with a cannon of an arm but he’s still really raw. I heard a rumor the Giants really like him too. He is sick, but he needs a lot of work before he’s Major League ready and I just don’t think we have the ability to develop a player like him. The Twins may also go with a college arm here.

15. Los Angeles Dodgers: Zach Collier, OF HS
The Dodgers would love to have Hicks fall to them but I think they’ll settle for Collier. More power and polish than Hicks, but not as athletic. Very good though. With the Dodgers ability to develop talent I expect him to be a future major-leaguer.

16. Milwaukee Brewers: Joshua Fields, RHP Georgia
The best closer in the draft and he is definitely ready for the major leagues. Not too much to say about him just that he’s been solid so far in his senior season. 47 strikeouts in only 25 innings, with 15 saves. Another safe, but necessary pick.

17. Toronto Blue Jays: Ethan Martin, RHP/3B HS
Until last year, the Blue Jays seemed focus on safe, college-productive players. But now their farm system is about as bad as it gets, and they really need high-potential players. Martin fits that bill. He hit .528 with 12 Homeruns in his senior season. Very good numbers. High-risk, high-reward and you have to wonder if the Blue Jays could develop him. Therefore, they may go with Conor Gillaspie, third baseman for Wichita St. It is also worth noting some people have Martin as more of pitching prospect than hitting. He has 112 strikeouts in 60 innings pitched. Jesus.

18. New York Mets: Christian Friedrich, LHP Eastern Kentucky
The Mets will be very happy if Friedrich falls this far. He’s the best college arm after Crow, Matusz and Hunt. But, I feel like the only team before the Mets that would want him would be the Cardinals. Another big guy with high strikeout totals.

19. Chicago Cubs: Casey Kelly, RHP/SS HS
I like this guy a lot. Another great athlete. Like Martin, though, some people have him as more of a pitching prospect than hitting. He’s hitting .473 with 5 homeruns but is also 8-1 with a 1.16 ERA in a tough HS league. Apparently he would rather be a SS. A big project, but one the Cubs would be willing to undertake.

20. Seattle Mariners: Gerrit Cole, RHP HS
Some people have them taking Melville, but he has fallen off to me in recent weeks. His 3.00 ERA in high school is terrible for a major league prospect especially compared to Cole’s .60 ERA. 94 Strikeouts in 58 innings is nice too. Only problem is Boras and a “high-stressful” delivery.

21. Detroit Tigers: Jemile Weeks, 2B Miami
The Tigers would love for Hosmer to fall all the way to them at 21 because of money demands. They are always eager to sign big-money players out of slot. But I just don’t see that happening as too many people like Hosmer. They might go with a HS pitcher like Cole or Melville, but they already have Porcello working his way up their system. This may be a bit early for Rickie’s younger brother to go but I really like him. He’s about the same as his brother, just with less power projections. A good, safe pick though to me.

22. New York Mets: Anthony Hewitt, SS HS
Some people think he’s a better athlete than Beckham. A real project but with a lot of potential. He goes to Salisbury HS in Connecticut (where Andrew Dunlevy went), which means he’s retarded. Good numbers though. .538BA and 8HRs.

23. San Diego Padres: Ike Davis, 1B/OF Arizona State
Another good ASU player. Plays first base now but he could probably easily make the move to outfield. Pretty good speed, average power, and good contact hitter. Safe pick for the padres.

24. Philadelphia Phillies: Destin Hood, OF HS
I think they would love Hewitt to fall but I think they’ll have to settle for Hood. Another great athlete but another project. High-risk and high-reward. Another HungryforTacos classic.

25. Colorado Rockies: Andrew Cashner, RHP Texas Christian
The next best college closer. Some people expect him to go earlier. The Rockies are still having problems solving their closer situation as Corpas wasn’t successful. A fast rising closer makes sense to them.

26. Arizona Diamondbacks: Connor Gillaspie, 3B Wichita State
The Diamondbacks love Cole but he may not be here. So they may go with another college star because they have a good track record with them. Reese Havens may be in play here, too.

27. Minnesota Twins: Brett Lawrie, OF/IF HS
Doesn’t have a position, but this Canadian apparently has a real, high-ceiling bat. He’s from Canada so I just feel like he makes sense for the Twins.

28. New York Yankees: Brett Devall, LHP HS
I’ve heard they really want a LHP so Devall would make sense. His numbers are outstanding. 140 strikeouts and a .41 ERA. Impressive. Don’t know much about him, though.

29. Cleveland Indians: Ryan Perry, RHP Arizona
Apparently he’s a fast track reliever and that’s what the Indians do need. But his numbers (3.35 ERA and 60 strikeouts in 60 innings) don’t impress me. Still, he’s the highest rated left.

30. Boston Red Sox: Reese Havens, SS South Carolina
Apparently, three years ago Boston wanted Reese, but took Ellsbury over him because of worries he wouldn’t sign. Now he’s back and I think they’ll take him again. Numbers are good too. .365 and 14 home runs.

Alright, I know I got a little thin on the descriptions after the first few but I’m tired and I don’t know a ton about players after the first 15 or so. As you can see, the class feels a little thin on pitchers but heavy on first basemen. Not too many outfielders out there, though. I’d be happy if the Giants get (in order): Alvarez, Smoak, Posey, Tim Beckham, Gordon Beckham. Any one of those players would be sick, though. I’m excited. The drafts on the 5th. Hope you guys liked reading.

Back From the Dead?

What the hell happened to Andre Nickatina? The man formerly known as "Yo' Frisco Potna Dre Dog" seems to have fallen completely off the map since his last album. This is perhaps because, in my humble opinion, his newest releases were becoming exponentially worse than the original Nickatina tracks we all used to (and still do) nod our heads to.

I remember discussing this with Widukind a long time ago, and he hypothesized that the deterioration in the quality of Nicky-T's music and lyrics (since when is it okay to come out with songs titled "Box of Lucky Charms", "Cottoncandyland", and "Rap Candy Bars?") had everything to do with his cocaine use. This conversation occurred sometime before March of '07 because I distinctly remember agreeing with him mainly due to the name of what back then was going to be Nickatina's next release: Cokewhite.

Since that conversation, apparently Nickatina scrapped "Cokewhite" and began a new project entitled "A Tale of 2 Andres", the other Andre being Mac Dre. This only came to my attention last week, when a friend and fellow Dre Dog enthusiast alerted me that Nickatina was doing a show in Santa Cruz and his new album was dropping that very night. After a bit of research, I found that the esteemed Mr. Pilly Wonk of Nation of Thizzlam made a warning post in 2006 about a mixtape that went by the same name, saying it claimed to have unreleased tracks but in reality was just the same old shit.

After much internal deliberation, I've decided that I think this CD is actually a collection of a bunch of new stuff, even despite how much Nickatina has fucked around the past few years. I went on http://www.andrenickatina.com , which actually wasn't very helpful, but it directed me to Nickatina's MySpace.

The fella has a pair of tracks on his MySpace that I haven't heard before, and I thought they were both pretty sick. My question: are these two tracks a glimpse of Nickatina's return to prominence? Or are they two anomalies in the ever expanding ocean of shittiness that my former hero Dre Dog has sunken into, much like the Titanic? I'm going to do my utmost to find out if that CD is legit and give my Frisco Potna Dre Dog a second chance.

In the meantime, tell me what y'all think about the two tracks in his MySpace.

http://www.myspace.com/certifiedandrenickatina

This is true lineage...

Welcome to Middlebury, The School with Magical Powers

God damn bullshit, piece of dogdick, fuck me in the A, I’d rather smell Juanfishes’s bellybutton compared to watching godamn Quidditch at Middlebury again. Now the WHOLE nation has to know we play Harry Potter magical flying broomstick games!! When I wake up on Sunday mornings, why can’t I wake up to the sounds of birds, or crickets, or a river…NO, NOT HERE, I wake up to Harry Potter creatures and a golden snitch cross country runner running through the halls of my dorm squaking like a dying baby. I love Middlebury and all, but OH MY GOD….this can’t actually be college where kids run around with broomsticks between their legs. Can it? Whatever…Im gonna go to bed. By the way, if you like really elaborate and descriptive dreams that you can remember, take a couple of Tylenol PMs and have some fun…
The Middlebury Quidditch is undefeated though.


Love
Injury Prone

Oh. My. God.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=alipour/080512&sportCat=nfl&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab6pos1

I didn't even read the article, I just watched the videos. For some reason when I heard about this show, I thought it was going to be a reality show, which in my opinion was about to be legit. Instead...Oh. My. God.
Oh. My. God.

Uhhh. Yeah.

Go Giants!

La the Darkman

At the Ghostface concert at Emory a month or so ago, a guy went through the crowd passing out his mixtape, “The Notorious LAD”. I thought that was funny. Little did I know it was La the Darkman, the apparent 12th member of Wu-Tang (Wikipedia makes it sound like he gave himself that title. Whatever). Produced by DJ Drama and Gangsta Grillz, the mixtape was pretty solid, but predictably very un-Wu-like. I investigated further and got his only studio-produced album, Heist of the Century, which came out in 1998, and La didn’t disappoint. With tracks produced by guys like 4th Disciple, Carlos “Six July” Broady, RZA and Havoc, Heist of the Century exhibits the prototypical sinister sound of the New York City rap scene in the 90s. Here are some tracks. Enjoy.

They Keep Talking (off the Gangsta Grillz Mixtape)

Dumping the Ruger (Mixtape)

Gun Rule (off of Heist of the Century)

Az the World Turnz (Heist of the Century, featuring Ghostface Killah)

La’s apparently got a new album coming out this year, so keep an eye out.

Widukinds Diary Entry #17

Image Credit: www.whylostsucks.com

Topic 1) I am so, so, so, so, sick of NFL analysts knocking the Raiders’ Darren McFadden pick. I want to poop on them. Not just any poop; a nice, steamy, poopydoopy one. It absolutely boggles me how hypocritical these people can be. They all humped Adrian Peterson’s purple butt last year as he established himself as one of the best running backs in the league, even though the Vikings passed on “position of needs” (QB, DE) and already had Chester Taylor in backfield. Now they’re all saying the Raiders blew it because they have Justin “Jesus” Fargas and need someone to stop the run. I understand the Vikings’ offensive line is a lot better than the Raiders’, but give me a break. Make up your damn minds.
Topic 2) I invented something amazing the other day; heated closets. You know that feeling when you put on clothes fresh out the dryer? It would be like that, but everyday ALL THE TIME!!!! You could even synchronize the heater to go off at night and then turn on like 10 minutes before you wake up in the morning to save $$$ and polar bears. Seriously, try to tell me this is a bad idea.
Topic 3) I invented something really amazing the day before the other day; TiVo that mutes on commercial. Anytime a baseball game goes to commercial break on MLB.tv, it just goes quiet and shows a blank screen. It’s awesome because you can actually do something else for a while and then go back to the game, instead of just sitting there watching the commercials because you have to (you do).
Topic 4) A kid on my hall invented something amazing the day before the other day, too; a TV guide screen that has a red dot next to a program if it’s on commercial. This would be great for shows like Jerry Springer, because the commercials are fucking unbearable but the show is so, so good. I don’t want to watch some bearded guy screaming about some really powerful soap, I want to watch this.
Topic 5) If Andy “gg no re” McKenzie reads this, it will probably piss him off…but Lost sucks. I don’t watch it so I have no idea what’s really going on, but still. It sucks. I watched like, 30 minutes of a show from the 3rd season last night, and all of the following went on during that time span. In the past, some dorky kid moves to the island with his alcoholic father played by Uncle Rico, who tells him that it’s his fault his mother died because he was a premature baby. 30 or so years later, still on the island, when it appears they are going to reconcile, the son straps on a gas mask in the middle of a van and opens some canister of shit and kills his dad. When he gets back to the village-thing, all of the other people are dead, and a bunch of dudes come out of the forest and he goes with them. While this story is going on, they jump back and forth to the present where somehow the sociopathic dude is actually the head of some beach colony. The creepy guy takes some other guy whose name is fucking John Locke in to the jungle to meet someone named “Jacob”, who conveniently turns out to be invisible. They get to a house and the weird guy talks to a chair for like 5 minutes, John Locke turns on a flashlight, and Jacob gets really pissed and starts throwing things and sets the ground on fire (which I guess Jacob puts out after they leave). Then, the sociopath takes John Locke to a mass grave of all the people who were killed hella days ago, shoots him in the stomach and leaves him in the ditch. It was so unbearably fucking stupid I can’t believe people watch it. I felt like someone had taken a fat, steamy, poopydoopy dump right in my brain. My god. The kids I was watching it with said that the 3rd season started to get kind of stupid. A show that can’t last more than two years without becoming “kind of stupid” is not a good show. If you’re reading this Andy I would appreciate some insight.

Out like Lost from my future DVD collection.

An Apology

I believe I owe the founders of dress Archie blog an apology. I admit that I was wrong in the beginning when I thought the blog was stupid, immature, and ridiculous. I actually read the posts on a consistent basis and I am usually humored and interested by the posts. This is why I asked Juanfish and the rest of the contributors to accept me back as one of their own. I hereby solemnly swear to never post random videos and pictures without descriptions or without any context…I have grown up (a little). So thank you for accepting Injury Prone back into the Dress Archie Gang….I missed you.
Anyways, a couple of weeks ago I went on a magical mushroom adventure (nothing like Amsterdam though). While experiencing nature, while building fires, and while talking to the Leprechaun on my Lucky Charms cereal box, I saw a couple of little boys playing an army game. One of the boys was the commander and the other was a regular soldier. While watching them using their imagination to play out the roles in this army game, I realized something…early childhood is pretty much a shroom trip within itself. You get to do whatever the fuck you want and nobody can yell or blame you for being immature and dumb. How much do you miss the days where you could pretend to be under attack by the Germans, or the days you would just get naked and put paint all over yourself? In the following video, a 7 year old kid steals his grandmas car just because he is mad at his mom. He has no inhibitions, doesn’t care what anybody thinks, and he just “wants to do hoodrat things with his friends.”


Love,
Injury Prone

Last Day of Classes Gift...

Happy Summer!


B.G.- Xtc and Hennessy


Let's go crazy...

Widukinds Diary Entry #16

A franchise-savior at age 19.

I’m no basketball fan. I never really liked playing when I was younger, I hardly watch college unless it’s the tourney, and I even failed to get my free ticket for the Warriors bandwagon that left last April. But last night, after getting in to the appropriate mindset, I began to appreciate Utah Jazz basketball. This team is a machine. Every player on their team loves the game, cares about the game, and wants to win. They each play specific roles, and do them equally well. Regular people don’t know who Carlos Boozer or Deron Williams are. They just don’t. What makes this so much more impressive is when you broaden your thinking and begin to consider every guy in the NBA; each player has devoted his entire life to the sport, and they have pretty much nothing else going for them. This kind of thinking lends an understanding to the egotistical personality many professional athletes have, as they are thrown in to the most intense competition on the planet starting at age 8. The fact that the Jazz have been able to compile a group of guys who all play so incredibly well together is unbelievable.
This leads me to my second point; the Houston Rockets are not that team. I understand, they won 829,283 games in a row this year, they don’t have Yao, and Rafer Alston has been hurt. Even last night the Rockets almost mounted a surreal comeback in Utah, with Shane Battier and Alston hitting ludicrous threes followed by an emphatic tip-in dunk by Carl Landry to get the game within two. I was watching the game with two Jazz fans, and despite the Rockets surge they remained convinced the game was in hand. After Deron Williams missed his first free throw, I prophetically declared “Watch him miss again, but the Rockets don’t get the rebound.” Williams bricked, and Tracy McGrady got beat out by Mehmet Okur, followed by a dumb foul by Battier in a scramble for the ball. The Rockets lost.
Jazz>Rockets.
Watching the game (in the right mindset, of course), produced a cornucopia of good conversation. Every time I watch the NBA like this I constantly get blown away thinking about the lives of these kids, what freakishly good athletes they are, and how much weed they probably smoke during the season. Last night we began discussing the potential reemergence of the NBA as a true major sport in the US due to the constant influx of young stars today. The 2003 draft class was absolutely insane, with Lebron, Melo, Bosh, and Wade in the top 5 (Darko Milicic, we hardly knew ye). Kobe and AI were “wily” veterans by the time they were 25!
Now, look at that ’03 class. Lebron is disgusting, and singlehandedly wills his team through the season, and Bosh is sick but hasn’t won anything.
But Melo? If the Nuggets fall to the Lakers, he will have lost 5 playoff series in a row. He’s 24 years old, and he could already be the next TMac.
Dwyane Wade? Remember him? The country’s (and hungyfortacos) second-son as recent as 2006 has virtually fallen off the map after unabashedly throwing his body around for 3 years. Seriously, watch this video. He takes 3 jumpers in 4 ½ minutes, but ends up on the ground 8 times. It’s my theory that for three years Wade’s body hit the perfect synthesis, where he could play sick, injured, or dying of the Hanta Virus and still dribble to the lane through his legs and throw up H-O-R-S-E-worthy shots and consequently smash in to the court. Now, he’s a potential has-been at 26.
The 2003 draft class is now being complemented by the rising stars of Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Kevin Durant and Dwight Howard among others. In a few years, everyone in this Diary entry will still most likely be in the NBA; but imagine how many new phenoms will have entered the league by then.

This entry has been a bit rambly, and I didn’t even include half of the notes I took last night, so another entry will most likely be coming up quite soon. If you’re going to take anything away, it should be this: watch the NBA high. Trust me.

Out like Desean Jackson from my dreams. :(

PS. Last enstallment of Wonder Mike Radio this semester, tonight 12-2 AM at http://www.wmre.fm/. Should be a fun one.

Hot Dollar: "I Luv Tha Streetz"

After I did my roots video post (below). I came across a video on the same website by this rapper named Hot Dollar. This song samples the beach boys (which is fucking sick) and this video is raw. wow. compton + mississippi is back...

Hot Dollar - I Luv Tha Streetz

The Roots go to the Go-Go

The Roots - Rising Up (Feat. Wale & Chrisette Michele)



Blackthought kills the first verse and Wale brings up the second with some hot fire. The Roots sound like their old selves (with a dash of Go-Go), and I am a happy boy. ?love 4 life.

p.s. Spring Music blockbuster coming soon. Stay tuned...

I'M BACK FROM MY HIATUS

My hiatus was really just me forgetting my password, but now I'm back on the blog I'm here to bring you the NFL draft Preview. My title is NINERPRIDE, so I will do an entire 1st round mock draft with notes, because I got to give the people what they want. I’m doing the draft without trades because they are so hard to guess, and because it is only a first round mock, I wouldn’t be able to show the affects of the trade. Thanks for keeping with me up to now, and here we begin:

1) Miami Dolphins: LT Jake Long Michigan. The NFL draft does not officially start until 3pm Eastern Time Saturday, but Michigan’s Jake Long has already been selected and signed as the first overall pick in the draft. To me the pick made sense, he’s probably the safest pick in the draft and gives the Dolphins a stud Offensive Lineman to build the rest of their offense around. You also have to give the guy credit for being the top ranked player, at the deepest position in the draft. They obviously tried to trade down to gain more picks, but they cut their losses and went for the sure thing. Look for him to be a good long time pro, perhaps even a Pro-bowler, but I’m going to go out there, and say that when it is all set and done, he will not have the best pro career of this years offensive lineman.
2) St. Louis Rams: DE Vernon Gholston Ohio St. This is a guy who has shot up draft boards since the NFL scouting Combine. The St. Louis Rams will be looking to add to last years first round pick of Adam Carriker to bolster the D-line. Many people have them drafting Glen Dorsey except that for a team with only 31 sacks, they need to look for someone who could be a perennial double digit sacker. This pick goes hand in hand with Adam Carriker, who was drafted as a ‘tweener DE DT player, moving officially into the rams interior.
3) Atlanta Falcons: DT Glenn Dorsey LSU. This is a pick, that to me, makes far more sense than QB Matt Ryan. At this stage in their franchise the Falcons need help at every possible position, but need to get the most bang for their buck. By this I mean drafting Dorsey with the second pick, and then Brian Brohm QB from Louisville with the 34th pick, addresses two key positions very well. To anyone that has watched an LSU game you understand why he is going #3, he’s an absolute BEAST.
4) Oakland Raiders: RB Darren McFadden Arkansas. Al Davis is one of the stupidest owners in sports, who drafts only based on physical ability and upside. Here I feel like he is making the best decisions, to be honest the fact that McFadden is going to make it to the fourth pick seems like a joke. Yes there are questions about his attitude, but did no one learn there lesson from passing on Peterson until the 7th pick. McFadden is Adrian Peterson on steroids. The other reason why this pick is perfect, is because there is no better way to help the progression of QB Russell than draft a RB who will demand 7 or 8 men in the box, to take the pressure off of Russell over the top. Look for Russell to use his arm strength with McFadden in the backfield.
5) Kansas City Chiefs: OT Brandon Albert Virginia. He is someone who has flown under the radar because he entered the draft as an OG. Guards essentially never get drafted in the first round not to mention top 10. After the Combine people realized that this 6 foot 6 310 pound beast has the quickness and agility to play Tackle with the big boys. His move from Guard to tackle may make it so he won’t start rookie year, but look for Albert to be a great player for a long time in the NFL.
6) New York Jets: DE Chris Long Virginia. He will be a tempting pick for the Raiders at number 4 because of the marketing ties between him and his dad Howie, who played DE for the Raiders. I think this is a steal of a pick at number 6, Chris up until the wire was a good possibility to the dolphins at the number 1 pick. He is one of the most well rounded Offensive lineman to go pro in quite a while. He is great against the run as he totaled 80 tackles, but can get to the QB, as he had 14 sacks in his senior season.
7) New England Bitches: CB Leodis McKelvin Troy. Many people have the Bitches taking someone else at this pick, but with loosing Samuel, Gay (no homo), and Wilson, I don’t understand how they can draft anyone but a DB. Once we’ve narrowed it down to DB, it has to be Cornerback because there are no elite safeties. At Corner it comes down to McKelvin and Run DRC. I feel that although they are both somewhat small school players, McKelvin is a safer pick, and thus the bitches will draft him.
8) Baltimore Ravens: QB Matt Ryan BC. Now that McNair has retired drafting Ryan is key to them being even a decent team this year. Matt Ryan is a stud, who I feel is as much of a sure bet as you can get when drafting QB’s. He doesn’t have the best Arm or accuracy, but he has the most important trait. He makes it happen. In a time when so much worry is put in the combine and your numbers are the only things that seem to matter, just the ability to play seems to get lost.
9) Cincinnati Bengals: DT Sedrick Ellis USC. This is a great pick. To be honest I’m not convinced that Dorsey is any better of a pro prospect than Ellis. At very similar height and weight, but it even seems like Ellis required more double teams. The Bengals also need to get good quality players, and Ellis went through college with no questions about his personality. He is a great fit, and personally one of my favorite players in the draft.
10) New Orleans Saints: DE Derrick Harvey Florida. They have a great offense and need to look to the defense to get them some stops. They would love to get either of the premier DT’s but with them both off the board, they go for the best D player available and get Harvey.
11) Buffalo Bills: WR Devin Thomas Michigan St. This seems ridiculous that there is no WR’s taken in the top 10, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Thomas has come from nowhere to essentially a lock for the top WR taken off the board. He should be a good fit for their offense and compliment Evans well.
12) Denver Broncos: RB Rashard Mendenhall Illinois. One could make the argument that the broncos can get 1,000 yards out of any RB in the NFL, but to put the Broncos back into the playoffs and the spotlight a great big fast RB like Mendenhall could bring them a bit of what they have lacked since Portis.
13) Carolina Panthers: OT Ryan Clady Boise St. This is somewhat a case of best player available, plus last years starting RT is moving to guard, and this would give Clady the chance to step in and make plays for a team only a few years removed from the Super Bowl.
14) Chicago Bears: OT Chris Williams Vanderbilt. Chicago is going to go offense and taking any position other than Tackle this early would be a stretch. Look for Williams or possibly Otah, especially is Williams is gone by then.
15) Detroit Lions: LB Keith Rivers USC. He was an absolute stud for USC and has put on great weight since the season ended. Detroit needs to address the defense after going WR in the first round 143 straight drafts. This pick makes even more sense with the loss of Boss Bailey
16) Arizona Cardinals: CB DRC Tennessee St. The Cardinals have all the weapons on offense to put it together especially with adding Brown at tackle last year, and now they need to be able to stop opposing passing games. DRC may be risky but if he has even close to the upside that his cousin has, he’s in business.
17) Minnesota Vikings: DE Phillip Merling Clemson. The Vikings added WR and DB through the off-season, and came off of a promising 2007 season, now they need to fill Udeze’s shoes, who was diagnosed with cancer. Merling is a work horse, who should fit in the Vikings defense well.
18) Houston Texans: OLB Jerod Mayo Tennessee. The Texans continue to bolster their defense by adding rising star mayo. They would love Chris Williams if he is there for Left tackle but mayo would add to this rising defense in Houston.
19) Philadelphia eagles: DB Aqib Talib. This may seem like a shock given the signing of Samuel, but the Eagles are almost certainly going to ship off Lito Sheppard. God pick, great player, but a bit of a pothead. Yeah!
20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: WR Limas Sweed Texas. Joey Galloway cannot play until he’s 60 and Michael Clayton is not cutting it. Limas Sweed will also be an amazing compliment to Galloway for the seasons they do play together.
21) Washington Redskins: OT Jeff Otah Pittsburgh. He would add great depth to a team who has both of their tackles getting up in age. The Redskins are known for odd drafting so look for them to possibly try to finalize their trade for Ocho Cinco or anything else. The redskins will also try to shock the audience; this year should be no different.
22) Dallas Cowgirls: RB Felix Jones. I love this guy and Jerry Jones gets his razorback. With the Cowgirls having two first round picks, look for Jones to try to trade up to land his top choice razorback McFadden.
23) Pittsburgh Steelers: WR James Hardy Indiana. The Steelers are going to give Rothliscunter what he wants. A big WR that can hopefully catch his terribly throws. If there were a guard who could take Fanacea’s spot, they would be delighted, but there’s no one there.
24) Tennessee Titans: DE Calais Campbell The U. They would love to get Limas Sweed to give Young his first go to option, but with him gone, they look to add to a free agency depleted D-line.
25) Seattle Seahawks: RB Jonathan Stewart U Oregon. If it wasn’t for his late injury he would be gone ages ago, but due to that Seattle lucks out only days after cutting Alexander they get a much more talented big runner in Stewart.
26) Jacksonville Jaguars: DE Kentwan Balmer North Carolina: With Marcus Stroud going to Buffalo over the off-season, Jacksonville needs to add someone in the draft to fill his shoes. Granted they are big shoes, but give him a couple of years, and they should be fine.
27) San Diego Chargers: WR DeSean Jackson California: The Chargers need to add more passing options besides Gates and LT. Jackson has blazing speed and is great deep threat, who will open the field for the running game.
28) Dallas Cowgirls: CB Brandon Flowers Virginia Tech The cowgirls, after addressing the Offense look to the secondary with their second pick. For someone with great awareness but not blazing speed, he should be a perfect nickel and dime corner in Texas.
29) San Francisco Fucking 49ers: RT Gosder Cherilus BC. The best team in sports get much better by adding a beast of a RT who will get immediate playing time once Jonas Jennings gets hurt. Yes this might not be the most flashy pick, but this gives us great young tackles on both sides. I would also love the DeSean Jackson pick, but I personally feel we have to go offense in round one. For anyone wondering this pick is based off the idea that we draft OLB Quentin Groves with the 39th. Addressing RT and OLB with our off-season moves, puts the 49ers into a very legitimate chance at winning the NFC West. I love you 49ers.
30) Green Bay Packers: CB Mike Jenkins USF. The Packers were the surprise of the season, and although the play of Woodson and Harris was amazing they could use depth, and both of those names are veterans that are getting older. Jenkins is big and will go under the wing of Al Harris.
31) New York Football Giants: S Kenny Phillips The U. The Giants, coming off of a surprising Super Bowl win over the Bitches from the east, look to fill the void of Wilson, who signed a huge contract with the raiders. They could also Go LB with a trade up or Connor, or could go possibly go with Reggie Smith, also after a 4.6 40 time his chances for the first round may very well be over.

Thanks for reading it all. If I have forgotten anyone or if it has spelling or grammar errors give me a break because this took really god damn long.

Can you beat it?

I just like this picture.

The Worlds Hardest Game. I’m sure the namesake has tried this already; if not, sorry Bubs. You can’t stop. I got to the last level last night. I’m a loser. After trying it for a while, I got really bored and distracted and closed it accidently. It might be a week or eight before I try it again.

Also, here are some bonus slaps off of the Green Eyes Million Dollar Dream mixtape of yesteryear:

The Perfect Murda – Andre Nickatina
This one’s been around. Short track from Nicky T, reminiscent of “Let’s All Get High”. Cop it if you don’t have it already.

Nino [CR3 Preview] – Andre Nickatina
Old school Nickatina is tough to beat.

Show Me the Way – Mac Dre/San Quinn/ Equipto
Nice little diddy I used to have, and rediscovered after re-downloading the album. Puts an interesting spin on The Doors’ “Albama Song (Whiskey Bar)”.

1 Day @ a Time – Mac Dre/ Harm
Sinister beat with a sinister chorus.

M.H.C.G.W. – Baldhead Rick/ Cellski
Sick beat with one of the Bay Area’s finest. And Baldhead Rick.

That’s a lot. Download the whole album if you like. Pay for it, though.

Out like Ocho Cinco (hopefully) from Cincy.

Yet another reason to hate the San Francisco Giants...

I'm back from a posting hiatus and despite a still existing drought of posting ideas in my mind, I think I have found something we can all agree on. There are a number of reasons to dislike this year's Giants team: we suck, we have players no one has ever heard of, and Dave Roberts. Yet I think this might be the most damning piece of evidence yet. Apparently (I discovered this while reading something about MLB giveaways ) the Giants wives and significant others play a game every year against the wives and significant others of the A's. Fortunately for all of us, a picture was included (posted up above). Upon close scrutiny and examination, it became apparent that the A's wives were a lot hotter than the Giants wives (aside from the chunker in the middle, I assume she's Joe Blanton's wife). See for yourself...

Now obviously this merited further research, so I searched "giants wives a's wives" on google (who knows, maybe I could have found some nudies), and came across a collection of photos of the A's wives. Wow. These are some fucking stunnas. Ogle away for yourself.











Unfortunately, no such photos could be found for the Giants wives, obviously revealing they are so homely no perverted stalker (see Watkins, Harrison) would want to take pictures of them. One consideration should be taken however. The Giants team last year was much older than the Giants team of this year (I don't think the opposite would be possible unless we injected them all with so many steroids we ended up with a team of gorillas), so the potential of young hot wives is much higher. All I know is I can't wait to the annual game this year, being held at Pac-Bell on June 14th (a mere week before Beerfest for the A's :D). Hopefully RJ can get me some field passes.

Bonus winner: Mrs. Kotsay

Widukinds Diary Entry #15

After taking Microeconomics last semester, I have become much more aware of how I spend my money. Before I purchase something, like three tacos from Chipotle or this totally sick jacket I got off e-Bay, I usually take some time to assess the situation and ask myself this question: “Am I going to get $7 of pleasure from these tacos, or $9 worth of compliments from wearing this jacket?” In these two cases, the answer is undoubtedly “yes”. (In all truth, I don’t really suggest this way of using money, because I almost always answer myself with “yes”. A better method is probably “Michael you’re an idiot because there’s no way this jacket is legit if it costs $9, shipping included”.)
Where am I going with all this? The other day I dropped $15 on MLB TV so I could watch my Giants everyday here in Atlanta. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pleased in the purchase, because I’ve been able to listen to the great Vin Scully and watch pretty much any game I want, but whenever I watch the Giants I can’t help feeling like I’m slowly decaying inside. Brian Sabean and his boy-toy Barry Zito should be paying me; watching this bullshit is not giving me $15 of pleasure. I should not have to pay to watch a minor league baseball team. Other teams should not have to waste their time playing a minor league baseball team. Other fans should not have to pay to watch their team play a minor league baseball team. “Michael,” you say, “c’mon. You know this team would run train on any AAA team.” First of all, probably not. Second of all, I concede that the Giants aren’t really a minor league baseball team; no minor league baseball team is this old. Do you even understand what a joke the Giants “youth movement” is? Fred Lewis? 27 years young. Rajai Davis? Also 27. David Ortmeier? He’ll turn 27 on May 11th. Eugenio Velez will turn 26 five days later. Brian Bofuckass is only 23, but I would still assume that’s enough time to comprehend the concept that staying on first base is good, and getting picked off is bad.
Let’s provide two comparisons to the Giants youth poovement. The Dodgers and Brewers outscored the Giants 34-12 over 6 games and handed them 5 losses, capped off with today’s bloody-diarrhea inducing 7-0 shutout. Prince Fielder is almost…wait for it…24. Corey Hart is 26, Ryan Braun and Rickie Weeks both 25. The Dodgers have a similar array of young talent: Matt Kemp is 23, James Loney is almost 24, and Russell Martin is 25. For fuck-sake, the Brewers even have great young arms in Yovani Gallardo, Manny Parra, and Carlos Villanueva (who the Giants traded away in 2004 for Wayne fucking Franklin), and the Dodgers have two young phenoms of their own in Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw. That’s supposed to be our goddamn trump card: “Yeah, but we have good young pitching!” Bullshit. These teams are way younger, and way, way, way better than us. It is literally disgusting. I talked to my dad today who referenced my last post by saying “Why do the Giants look like they’re running around with feces coming out of their asses?”

So...would a team of penguins do better than the 2008 San Francisco Giants? Should I even ask?

I win...

In having one of the sickest and weirdest dreams ever last night. Suffering from extreme jetlag, I have been taking these "natural" sleeping pills that my dad gave me to get over the hump. What they may not explain on the bottle (I have no bottle, I just keep these little drops of wonder in a matchbox), is that these compressed cocktails of herbs induce some crazy-fucked-up dream within dreams. Last night was one example of an odyssey that seemed to take place over a matter of many days, but based on my repeated wake-ups through the night, it only took a matter of one-and-three-quarters of an hour.

I guess I could sum up my dreams in a couple of seconds. Basically, I was recruited by the Wu-Tang Clan, specifically RZA and Method Man, to clash with a rival gang of faceless hooded figures (who scarily resembled Lord Voldermort). I was given a sick sub-machine gun, and I iced fools. The battle was going well, and we were kicking ass. Then, our battle took a turn for the worse. I lost my sub, and it started to snow. I found a stray gat with only a couple of rounds left in it. The rest of the Wu ran out of bullets. I was picking up frozen bullets off of the ground and trying to load them into my magazine when the last standing hooded figure went around and killed the rest of the Wu execution style (easily one of the worst moments of my unconscious life, other than many other tragic deaths--which suck ass, am I right?). I was the last to go, and I woke up with a gasp, and I swear I saw my killers face. Is it possible to die in your own dreams? (Note: also, something I have noticed recently is my inability to see myself in my dreams. A couple of days ago, someone was trying to take a Polaroid of a group I was standing with, and I remember I held my hand in front of my face and said, "no pictures". When the picture developed, my face was not in it...weird). When I woke up, I thought I was being attacked again, as my still-packed suitcase was standing upright and I had hung my pants over the bar (another leering shadowy figure).

Sleep...

This is when it got weird, maybe I just thought it was really strange, but when I went back to sleep I went to this party in someone's basement and almost everyone I knew was there. I go up to Taylor Shell who is standing with Bubs, Hungry, and Injury-dumbass, and say, "you will never guess the dream I just had," and Taylor responds, "you just had a gunfight with RZA and Method Man." I was shocked.

Nevermind, this is one of the most random posts I have ever done I think, but I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately, and I think a lot of it is dues to the gauntlet that I have been putting my body through In terms of dreams. On the plane on my way home all i did was sleep, and when I tried to catch a football, I knocked over all of the glasses on the tray between me and this Japanese guy looked at me really weird (he was watching Ms. Congeniality, so what the hell does he know). Dreams are very confusing, so I think I am going to take a class on them next year, but that may ruin the entire experience for me, ignorance is bliss, and the last thing I want to hear is that all of my dreams are filled with creepy Freudian principles. Fuck that, I like my sleep, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

DONE!

I just got a new issue of my bible THE FADER magazine, and it was filled with some really sick music. I will share with you all, including a new sound coming out of Baton Rouge, Lil Boosie. Peace.

p.s. the new Subway ad with the $5 footlong is really sexual.

p.p.s. George W. Bush was incredible on ESPN last night, from getting jeered when he threw the first pitch to his awful call of the first home run by Chipper Jones, I laughed. Looks at the man try to learn cricket.

Widukind Diary Entry #14

Topic 1) Emperor penguins, other than having some of the cutest babies on the planet (after this kid, this kid, and this dog), are awesome. I'm sure most of you are familiar with what the parents go through to just have a baby thanks to March of the Penguins, but I can't help to make one observation: after millions of years of evolution, why do they still waddle around with their flippers out like they just shit themselves and have half of a gigantic feces log poking in and out their asshole? I understand that they're birds and that they're incredibly good swimmers, but their lives would be incredibly easier if they could walk somewhat normally. And before you tell me that Emperor Penguins that could walk well would be the ultimate evolutionary-superbeing, last time I checked frogs can swim and hop around pretty well and haven't taken over the world yet. There are even birds that can fly and swim. Either God has a sense of humor, or penguins are just stupid.

Topic 2) I saw a Michelin commercial the other day that had something to do with a guy and his dog, and then at the end it says "Few relationships in life are more important than between you and your Michelin tires". I understand that they mean the safety provided by their tires helps protect the relationships you treasure most, but c'mon. Tires are fucking tires. My tires have never taken me out to fucking lunch.

Topic 3) This was something Hungryfortacos and I discussed on our fantastical journey through New York City. We talked about alot, but this was the only thing I wrote down: "imagine how hard it would be to get a hold of someone in Ancient Rome?" I mean, think about trying to arrange a meeting between you and your buddy Graccus who lives on the other side of town. Let's say that somehow you set it up to meet at the Pantheon when the sun reaches so-and-so height, so you take all morning to walk all the way to the Pantheon, but unbeknownst to you Graccus got a case of the runs this morning and couldn't make it. So Graccus sent a little page boy running all the way across Rome to tell you that his master has the runs, but by the time he gets there it's too late and you're halfway there. Then what? I bet one of the most underrated things about Ancient Rome was the amount of people milling around awkwardly waiting for their friend to show up. Nobody talks about that in the history books.

Topic 4) If you're more than 10 minutes late to a class, don't show up. If you do, and god forbid you do it regularly, you seriously need to take a step back and reexamine your life.

Out like non-baseball season!

Also, tune in to http://www.wmre.fm/ 12-2 AM EST tonight for the 5th installment of Wonder Mike Radio. Plenty of Redman to go around.

No. This is realer...

Juanfeesh credited me for pointing him to Pac's videos, but I gotta credit him for starting me on this little old-school rap video binge I've been on. The other day he pointed me out to an entry on Outside Broadcast that featured a few old videos, and I was hooked. I started searching some guys I'd think would have put out some real videos back in the day, until I came across this after hoping that Scarface had made a "No Tears" video:



Girl got mad flow. Despite clearly reading the lyrics off the screen, I'm pretty sure she gets caught up at around 0:26, 0:34, 1:36, and 2:12 (yes, I watched the whole thing). I have no idea what would compel anyone to record a video of them lip-syncing to any song whatsoever and put it on YouTube, but whatever. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

To compensate for the above, here's the original song/video that started this fad, "Grand Groove (Remix)" by Intelligent Hoodlum:



Out like Ray Durham at the All-Star Break after a .298, 13 HR, 43 RBI half. Then, in like Josh Vitters.
Anyone?

This is the realest...

This is what a real video look like. Widu told me to watch the "Hit 'em Up" video on youtube, and I started to explore more 2pac videos. This one is my favorite, in total contrast to this video, directed by Tupac Shakur himself, is fucking sick. It has a narrative, tasteful display of riches, and one of the sickest featured artists you could possibly have on a song, Snoop Doggy Dogg. Wow. This is sick. Thanks Widu for turnign me onto Tupac's video genius. I love it, although it proves that the Weezy video below is like a steaming piece of crap, its hot, but is sucks ass.

Proof that Lil' Wayne is f**king nuts...

Here is the video for Lil' Wayne's song featuring Static Major titled "Lollipop". Not only does Wayne do the video in a unkempt tux (possibly an allusion to KC & JoJo), but he also proceeds to have a guitar solo on top of an enormous (ENORMOUS [18 wheeler]) limo. The creative choices that went into making this video are completely absurd, from streams of water and fire, to Wayne's dance solo, I just don't get it. Does anyone have any idea what Weezy was thinking? I need your input, because I am completely perplexed.



BONUS: BIGGIE BIO-PIC!!!

Dress Archie's Great Rap Verses (Song #8: Eminem- Drug Ballad)

You probably haven't listened to Eminem in a while. Maybe it's because he hasn't come out with anything for a few years. Or, maybe you've fallen in to the mainstream trap of thinking he's all shock-value. Or, perhaps it's because you associate him with middle school and realize that you were in to "(Everybody) Backstreet's Back" at the same time, and completely mistrust your past taste in music. It could even be that you're too embarassed to be a white dude bumping the Marshall Mathers LP, and are afraid of what people will think of you (I fall in to all four categories). Well, fuck all that.
Don't get me wrong, Eminem gets plenty of respect from Hip-Hop "afficionados", but his hiatus from the industry over the past few years has caused his name to fall almost in to obscurity. But I encourage you all to revisit your prepubescent years and see how great Eminem really is, and realize how much you can actually get out of his music now, other than being the only kid with the hella-chill mom who lets him buy "Parental Advisory" CDs.
Eminem has other songs and verses that are more widely heralded than those on "Drug Ballad" like "Stan", "The Real Slim Shady", and his ridiculous shit on "Renegade", but I thought I'd use this particular song as an example of Eminem's versatility.

Just check the first verse (below is just a sample):
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guinness is finished,
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches

I'm no lyrical technician or whatever, but I count something like 4 or 5 different flows in that single verse, not to mention the smoothness of his delivery, rhyme scheme, and content. I like this track a lot, mainly because (like Dre Dog's "Situation Critical") it's a piece on how the rapper is fucking up his own life, and because it lacks all of Eminem's typical "faggot" lines and stuff about him killing his wife.
My only gripe about Eminem is the sound of his voice (which I don't mind but it could be better), but other than that this guy is a fucking genius on the mic.

Out like Duke in Round 1. Go Belmont!

Snoop Dogg + Mistah FAB + Too $hort = Life Of Da Party

Snoop Dogg (feat. Too $hort & Mistah FAB) - Life Of Da Party

I really want to go to this party. Like really badly. Gwow.

Buffie the Body...

When I was making my Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball team, and I was looking for a team logo, I thought it would be neat to have a large booty represent what my team stood for. I proceeded to go to google images and search "big booty", and this is the first image that satisfied my craving:
Meet Buffie the Body. Born Buffie Caruth in Athens, GA, Buffie has burst on the model scene with one of her most biggest asset. Need I give any more evidence? The woman packs a punch, leaving one youtuber to say "that woman's ass is pregnant!". Seriously, this lady is a freak of nature. I find this way more interesting than abriendo's op-ed throw-up. Buffie is well known for the "Thunderclap", just imagine hearing this at a club. Drop down and get your eagle on, lady, this is fucking ridiculous (more like a sonic boom--what would her tekken move be?). Enjoy gents...I know widukind will. Girl is thick.


Look out for the DVD "STILL LARGER THAN LIFE" (and we believe her) to come out March 2008.

Dress Archie's Great Rap Verses (Song #7: Pastor Troy- This Tha City)

Now for me, when the "Great Verses" list was started, one of the driving forces behind it was putting up some new music and maybe new rappers that some of you haven't heard. My first two songs I don't think really achieved that goal; I am sure most of you had heard Gettin' It and while Big L is pretty well-known, I figured you hadn't heard that freestyle.


With this in mind, I present to you Pastor Troy. I first came across the Pastor Disaster when I was real young and and just getting my feet wet in rap music. I can't remember where I heard of him, but at the age of 12ish I bought one of his CD's. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Pastor Troy is most likely best known for a feud he had with Master P, but other than that, he has little audience outside of the South. I actually at one point had a couple of his albums, but as I've gotten older I've either lost them, or they didn't make the switch to my new computer.

Athletes are constantly in need of pump-up songs, and even when I was real young I tried to find rap that would pump me up. With this I present to you This Tha City. This song has been an Alex Hart pump-up staple for a good long time now, and nothing got me more rearing to go than verse 2.

While not the most exciting verse lyrically, the passion that Troy throws into his spitting is undeniable. It sounds as if he's gutturally yelling the thing out through clenched fucking teeth, as if he's taking a big fat shit (in a good way). This song needs to be listened at high volume levels, and works best if your feeling belligerent or aggressive so drink some cheap whiskey, listen to this, and (to quote Juanfeesh) stomp some gumps. If I could best some up this song I would leave it to the Pastor himself:
You cracking smiles, we cracking mugs selling drugs
We what hoes love, ATL fucking thugs.
This might not be the best verse I throw on here, it sure is one of the hardest and hopefully you'll bump it at some point.

Out like Brett.

Abriendo Bitches OP-ED Piece #2

Couple things I have been thinking about today. First off, and most importantly, I am really excited for Pineapple Express, the new movie from the guys who brought us Superbad. Here's the newest trailer, which came out a week ago.

I have higher hopes (getting the reference here fellas) already for this movie than I ever did for Superbad or Knocked Up, and I had pretty high hopes for both of those movies. I like how these guys keep coming out with very different plot lines too, but they all seem to cater to stoners. This movie especially falls into this category. There's not really a lot I can say about the movie or my expectations. Just watch the trailer and tell me what you think. It doesn't come out till this summer though, which sucks.

The other thing I like about this trailer is I really really like the song they use in it. Apparently John and Alex already had it. Its really good. It's M.I.A. Paper Planes in case you don't have it. Especially really good to dance to. That brings me to my next point: I miss dances. I don't know about you guys but the dances here suck. They are all at frats so usually I'm not exactly in the right state of mine to navigate a packed dance floor anyway. And if that weren't enough, now that the football team is finished, they all show up and take over the dance floor at 11. You can't even try and dance cause they are all so fucking big. And they constantly do the soulja boy. And they introduce themselves to girls with their full name and position. Like they will actually walk up to cute girls and say something like "L.D. Crowe, Quarterback." They are actually retarded. I miss the old days with the M.O.R.E. dance. My sister was just telling me how the school surprised the students with a boat dance recently. I really want another one of those. I'm seriously considering attempting to organize one for this summer. Or force Lily to organize one. Yeah, that's a better idea. We should all (widukind especially) pester Lily to have a boat dance.

Last thing: All the credit for this discovery goes completely to HungryforTacos, but I gotta say I am pretty fucking excited for the new season of South Park now. I mean the last few seasons were ridiculous. Where do they go from here? More violence? More ball-licking? More cutting people in half? They could do so many different things with this upcoming season. Just an absurdly perfect show.

Also, I agree with Widukind about bangs. Bad current style trend.

Out like Injuryprone from the closet (he's into acting now).

Widukind Diary Entry #13

Topic 1) My fantasy baseball-inspired dreams keep coming. The memory of last nights experience is a little fuzzy, but I know it involved Francisco Cordero and hungryfortacos. For some reason, I accepted a trade proposed to me by HFT that involved Cordero coming my way. It was a good move for me, so I pressed "accept". However, immediately following this I realized that Cordero was a closer, and I was simply buying in to hungryfortacos' whole theory of drafting all relievers and them trading them away for position players. I got very upset.

Then I woke up.

Topic 2) The other day when I was trying to go to sleep I came up with the best idea ever; I formulated the ultimate signature drink for a bar to rip people off with and make hella $ (money). The process goes like this: You have a big refrigerator under the bar where you keep a whole bunch of green grapes, and a whole bunch of vodka (preferrably something like Popov to save $. Nobody will tell the difference). Then, you invent some hella catchy and trendy name for the drink, like "Grape Bomb" or "Vodka and Grapes" (if that's all you can come up with you're also probably gonna have to hire a Marketing specialist). When someone comes up to the bar and says, "Hey barkeep, gimme a Vodka and Grapes!", the barkeep gets out like six grapes, the customer places them in rows between his teeth thus opening his mouth, takes a shot of vodka, and then bites down on the grapes as a chaser/healthy alternative to Red Bull or whatever crap the damn kids are drinking these days.

Slap a $9 price tag on that beezy and you've got yourself a goldmine. Don't forget to tip!

Topic 3) This just needs to be said: bangs are a poor fashion choice for girls. Some girls look cute, don't get me wrong, but I have found it to be a 99.9% probability that they looked better beforehand. Just saying.

Topic 4) I like Rock Band. I think it's fun; it's easily the most inclusive multi-player video game ever made, and I respect that. But what I don't respect are people who get insanely good at it. I don't have a problem with people being good at other video games like Halo or Madden because they play out scenarios that regular people just have no chance of experiencing. But Rock Band (and Guitar Hero) are not like that. Why don't you just pick up a real fucking instrument? Granted, the argument can be made that the cost of buying a guitar (and potentially lessons) far outweighs the cost of buying Guitar Hero, but I'm going to counter that argument by saying that most people who have enough money to purchase an XBox 360 and Guitar Hero probably have enough bank to throw down on a used instrument. I'm just saying.

Out like Barry Zito (todays line 0.2 IP, 8 ER).