Saturday, August 11, 2007

Well, Here Goes My Afternoon...


We move east and north from the AFC West at this point to the AFC North, a division that could prove to be one of the most competitive and one of the most challenging in this coming year. There are three teams that seem to be playoff caliber, yet the odds tell us that most likely only two of them will go on. The three teams each have different styles, leading to a very contrasting division. Anyways, we begin.

1. Bodymore Ravens
What's To Like:Well obivously, the top ranked defense which allowed 20 yards per game less than the second place team. Ray Lewis is coming back in what he's saying is the "best shape of his life", and despite the loss of playmaking linebacker Adalius Thomas, the defense still has Ed Reed, Chris McAlister, Bart Scott, and Terrell Suggs. Scott especially broke out last year, and will have even more responsibility with the loss of Thomas. Defensively, there still remains a lot of continuity on this defense, and look for their defense to rank (conservatively) in the top 5 again this year. The QB position no longer remains a point of controversy, as Steve McNair has proven himself repeatedly to be a franchise quarter back. What he's lost in speed over the last couple years he's gained in smarts, so he should lead this offense effectively this year. Willis McGahee is a definite upgrade over Jamal Lewis, so look for the Ravens rushing attack to be more effective this year. Also, with McNair in the system for another year, look for an improved passing attack on last year's performance as the wide receivers and McNair will have gelled better. Also, Jonathan Ogden is supposed to be back for the start of the year, so if he is back the Ravens line will be much stronger.
What's Not To Like:Well the defense is getting older, and a number of playmakers, including Ray Lewis may have lost a step. The loss of Adalius Thomas could prove costly, as the Ravens will need people to step up in a variety of positions to fill the gaps that Thomas has left. Offensively, McNair is always an injury threat, and it seems inevitable that Kyle Boller will have to start a least a couple games this year. McGahee may be an upgrade on Lewis, but he had a down year last year, and still has a lot to prove. And if Ogden is unable to return by the start of the year, look for that to have an effect on both the passing attack and the rushing attack.
Betting Lines: 18/1 to win the Super Bowl, 9/1 to win the AFC, 9/5 to win the North.
Final Outlook: I think the Ravens this year will be a very strong team, and are definately capable of winning the North. However, they remain a couple of injuries away from missing the playoffs. I believe their defense will be able to replace Thomas, and I expect them to be one of the best, if not the best defense in football. I do like the addition of McGahee, and I expect to have a better year this year, and while the passing attack does not seem that strong, I think they'll be around their top half finish this year. There schedule is extremly difficult, as they have to play the Chargers, Patriots and Colts in three consecutive weeks, but i think they'll finish anywhere from 10-6 to 12-4, which should be enough to win this division.

2. Cincinnati Bengals
This team was going to be #1 for me, but honestly, the losses of Chris Henry and Kenny Irons I think are going to prove costly for this ball club, and while I think they have the talent to finish first, I expect them to be a wild card team.
What's To Like:The team had a top 10 offense last year, and honestly, with all their talent at the skill positions, there is little doubt that they should finish there again. Carson Palmer is becoming one of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL, and he should be even better this year, with another year under his belt after his ugly knee injury. Rudi Johnson is an absolute workhorse and is without a doubt good for 1000 yards and a number of touchdowns, and will have to carry the rushing load with the loss of Kenny Irons, the #1 pick for this team this year, and the probable #2 running back. Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh remain one of the best tandems at the wide receiver position, and each has the potential to go ways above 1,000 yards. Tab Perry may even be able to fill in at the slot position while Chris Henry is suspended. The defense can only prove on its third-to-last position from last year, and Marvin Lewis is known for his defensive coaching prowess so I expect their defense will be much better.
What's Not To Like: Well let's see, their defense did finish third-from-last last year, and the additions made do not look like they are going to make that much of a difference. The defense really still is lacking playmakers, so they will not match their turnover numbers from two years ago. Offensively, the losses of Kenny Irons and Chris Henry for 8 games, are what ultimately I feel will derail this team. Rudi Johnson took a ton of punishment last year, and was up in the top 5, I believe, in touches, and Irons was supposed to lighten the load for him this year. With that not happening, an injury to Johnson would completly derail this team. The loss of Henry takes away Palmer's third option, and a guy who would pretty much automatically have a good matchup everytime he got on the field. That could slow their passing attack down a bit. Also, the continual suspensions, arrests, and off the field bullshit, translates to on the field disciplinary issues so I don't see this team being disciplined enough or focused enough to take down the Ravens this year. Emphaisis on this year.
Betting Lines: 15/1 to win the Super Bowl, 7/1 to win the AFC, and 3/2 to win the North. They are the favorites, so if you plan on betting, I would say go with the Ravens to get a little more return for your money.
Final Outlook: There is no denying the talent of this Bengals team, but I feel that with all that is going on, they are one year away from overtaking this Ravens team. I truly believe, and I know I am harping on it, that the losses of Irons and Henry will be the doing in of this team, because even if Johnson misses a couple of games, the running attack will be doomed. This team really reminds me of the Colts teams from a few years ago, one of those teams that is going beat most teams by outscoring them, but as we have seen, that can only take you so far if your defense is anemic. I can see them finishing from 9-7 and 11-5, and honestly they could win the division, as they have a much easier schedule than the Ravens, but I think they are prone to dropping their level, and losing to some lesser teams.
(Of all the picks, Michel I expect you to disagree with this one)

3. Pittsburgh Steelers
A team that has the potential to challenge the Ravens and Bengals, but with the change in front office personnel, I expect the Steelers to finish around 8-8 and be really searching for an identity by the end of the year.
What's To Like:Willy Parker is one of the best running backs in the league, and should be good for around 1300 yards per game and a number of scores. Ben Roethlisburger (gay) cannot possibly be any worse than last year without losing his job and reputation, so honestly, while I hate him, he should have a better year than last year. Their offensive line remains strong and as a unit, should give Parker plenty of holes to run through, and Roethlisburger plenty of time to throw picks. I like their wide receiving corps, because I have always been a Hines Ward fan, and I think Santonio Holmes could become a good #2 receiver. Their defense should be very strong this season with Tomlin coming in to the head coaching job, because if he can put Minnesota's defense in the top 10, I think he has the ability to put the Steelers in the top 5. Their rookies have impressed, especially LaMarr Woodley, and he has the potential and talent to be the Defensive ROY this year. Polamalu (gay) is a playmaker, and now is the leader of this defense with the departure of Joey Porter.
What's Not To Like: The departure of Bill Cowher leaves the Steelers with a change in coaching philosiphy for only the second or third time in franchise history and this can only hurt the team, especially on offense. Their offensive line is getting older, and Alan Faneca is leaving after this year, so their offense might struggle. Roethlisburger was honestly one of the worst quarterbacks this past year, and with all the drama surrounding him, another mediocre performance could put the position in controversy towards the end of the year. With the loss of Joey Porter, the team loses a great deal of its attitude, especially defensively, and expect that mean, hard-hitting streak that followed this defense to not be as prevalent this coming year. Also, age may prove to be an issue at a number of positions, and this team does have to play the Ravens and Steelers twice a year.
Betting Lines: 25/1 to win the Super Bowl, 14/1 to win the AFC, 5/2 to win the North.
Final Outlook: The Steelers have a talented team at a number of positions, but the team is undergoing a big change with the departure of Ken Whisenhunt, Russ Grimm, and Bill Cowher, so this is a team really searching for an identity. Are they an offense team built around the run or pass, and are they a 3-4 or Cover 2 defense. These are not easy questions to answer, and will dog the team all year long. Mediocre play at the QB position could prove costly again, and the team really needs Roethlisburger to actually perform for the first time. I see them finishing about .500, probably 7-9 or 8-8.

4. Cleveland Browns
A team that has a couple playmakers, but too much uncertainty and controversy has derailed them year after year, and I expect the same to happen this year.
What's To Like: The main thing to like is the two offensive playmakers: Kellen Winslow Jr. and Braylon Edwards. Both of the players have the potential to be some of the best at their respective positions, and both players physically can absolutely dominate the opposition. Charlie Frye has his moments, and Brady Quinn could be a pro quarterback. Their offensive line is not terrible, and if they can avoid injury, then Jamal Lewis might have a better year than last year. He's apparently looked good in camp which is a good sign. Defensively, Romeo Crennel is a great coach. They have a number of players that I like personally and whom I think can be good players, including Brodney Pool, Leigh Bodden and Andra Davis. They also have loads of potential and talent going into the future, so they might be more fitted to compete in a few years.
What's Not To Like:Really there is a lot to name here, but one of the issues is that the team is constantly stricken by the injury bug, and has not enough talent to deal with injuries to their good players. Crennel has yet to prove himself to be an apt NFL coach, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was the first coach to be fired this year. A QB controversy never helps, and the fact that Brady Quinn held out for so long and then struggled greatly in his first practices back is not a good sign. Jamal Lewis is not that great of an upgrade over Ruben Droughnes, so their offense will likely struggle. Defensively they were in the bottom 10, and did little to improve on that this offseason, so this is a team that honestly is in big trouble this coming year.
Betting Lines: 125/1 to win the Super Bowl-the worst of any team, 50/1 to win the AFC, 7/1 to win the North.
Final Outlook: This is a team with a lack of talent, not a great coaching staff, and that plays in a very difficult division. They have gone 1-11 over the past two years in their division which never bodes well, and I don't think that will change greatly next year. They have questions at the QB position, and if Brady Quinn is the franchise, he will probably start at some point, meaning he and the team will struggle greatly. This team is finish 4-12 at best in my book, and is picking Darrent McFadden somewhere in the top 5 or even the top 3 next year.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Are you ready for some football...




I am here to finally give Widukind a break from running this blog, now that I can post on something relevant, important, and endearing. Yes, I am talking about football season, and I will preview each of the 8 division over the next few weeks, with predictions, money lines, betting reccomendations, and finally a playoff preview. I wanted to start with the (Gay)FC, or the conference with better teams (lets be honest), but less support here on the blog, and what better place to start than the best coast, so without further ado, I bring you the 2007 Hungryfortacos AFC West Preview.

AFC West
Let's be honest, this is a very strong conference, save for one team, but I expect it to pan out how it has in recent years.

1. San Diego Super Chargers
Despite new uniforms that look kinda ghey (honestly does every team really need to change their jereseys) I expect the Chargers to play at a high level this year, but to not come close to the success they achieved in past years.
What to Like: Philip Rivers has gotten a year under his belt, and after a year of solid yet unspectacular play, he has proven to be an efficient manager of games and a quality NFL QB. LT can only be derailed by injury, but expect his production to come down from last year, given the fact that he had one of the most spectacular years in football history. The team ranked 4th in total offense this past year, and lost very little. Antonio Gates should have another 1000 yard and 8 TD season. They lost very little personnel on the field, this offseason, and should be very prepared for the season ahead of them. Their defense is strong as well, with their rushing and passing defense both ranking in the top 15.
What Not To Like I was never a fan of Marty Schottenheimer, but I am much less of a fan of Norv Turner as a head coach. Basically you are replacing one coach with a reputation for being unable to win the big game despite being a great seasonal coach, with one known for bring a mediocre head coach, and unable to win the big game. I feel that will cost them at least two games this year, possibly three. Also, looking at their schedule, they have around 9 games I would classify as tough games to win, so their schedule will not favor them as well. The defense lost one of its leaders: Donnie Edwards, and the offense lost one as well: Keenan McCardell. Their receiving corps remains weak, and with Eric Parker injured already, it does not bode well for the long run.
Betting Lines: 6/1 to win the Super Bowl, 7/2 to win the AFC, 2/3 to win the division.
Final Outlook: Barring any injuries or any other unforseen occurances, this without a doubt is a playoff team with loads of talent. They should be able to beat the teams they should beat, and should be able to compete with anyone. Their schedule really is tough with games against the Colts, Patriots, Bears, @ Jaguars, @ KC and Denver, and Baltimore. If there at or anywhere above 4-2 going into their bye, they could compete for the AFC top playoff spots. I think realistically they'll finish anywhere between 10-6 and 13-3, definatly enough for the top spot in the West.

2. Denver Broncos
Another good football team, they just missed out on the playoffs last year courtesy of the Niners, but should come back strong, despite losing some key players.
What's To Like: The biggest thing to like is Mike Shanahan, one of the premier coaches of this league, and a guy who will have a quality football team pretty much no matter what. Jay Cutler enters his second season looking like a potential baller, and if they get quality play from him, this team could give the Chargers a slight challenge for the AFC West throne. The rushing attack will be potent no matter who plays there, considering the success of past years, and the offense should be much better than their bottom half finish of last year. The addition of Brandon Stokely should greatly aid Cutler, and with Javon Walker getting another year on his surgically repared knee, the passing attack should be stronger. However, whats most to like about the Broncos is the attention paid to the defense this offseason. The additions of Dre Bly, Jarvis Moss, Tim Crowder, and Dan Wilkinson should help out a defense that finished in the middle of the league last year. Champ Bailey continues to play at a level that is unmatched by any other defensive back in the league, and that should continue this year. Its gonna be hard to throw on these guys with Bly, Bailey, and guys like Ian Gold and DJ Williams at LB, both of whom are strong pass defenders.
What's Not To Like:Another year, another controversy at the RB postion for the Broncos. While it seems certain that they will find 1000 yards from someone, none of the running backs on the roster (Travis Henry, Mike Bell) instill that much confidence. Cutler is still young and prone to mistakes despite his cannon of an arm, and their receiveing corps remains unthreatening despite having been strengthened. Also, age at some positions seems to be creeping around; Rod Smith is probably receiving social security, Bailey is getting older, Lynch is on his last legs, and members of their offensive line are getting into double digits for seasons played. Also, I really feel the loss of Al Wilson is gonna hurt the attitude of this defense, no matter what they say. Also, its kind of hard not to feel that the Broncos are not a very unlucky team. The Darrent Williams incident was a tragedy as well as the loss of Sapp, the running back who also died this offseason, and these two incidents, I don't know how to put it, make the team seem sort of cursed, for lack of a better word.
Betting Lines: 20/1 to win the Super Bowl, 12/1 to win the AFC, and 7/5 to win the West.
Final Outlook: The Broncos are a team who could easily contest for a wild card berth this season. Despite strengthening their team this offseason, a good number of question marks remain, and like all the other teams in the West this season, they face a very difficult schedule. The loss of two members of the team could give the team something to play for and to rally around, but I can't see this team giving the Chargers too much of a push in the west. They will likely finish anywhere between 8-8 and 10-6 and competing for a playoff spot.

3. Kansas City Chiefs
This team lives and dies with Larry Johnson, who will need to essentially carry them into the playoffs if this team is going anywhere this year. Their biggest advantage might be their homefield advantage, which will win them around 2 games a year.
What's To Like: Larry Johnson is one of the elite running backs in football, and seems like a good bet for at least 1200 yards and 12 touchdowns. They still have Tony Gonzales, a top playmaker still, and Dwyane Bowe should help a passing attack that consistently can be labled as pretty anemic. Herm Edwards is known as being a great defensive coach, so expect him to get the most from his defensive players. The addition of Brodie Croyle will create some competition at the QB position, hopefully inspiring Damon Huard to up his level of play, as obviously he will need to play well if the Chiefs are hoping to do anything this year. The team is well coached, so they should be able to beat the teams they should beat.
What's Not To Like: Actually for me, there's a lot here. First off, neither Croyle nor Huard are proven NFL starting QB's and the team is a few bad games away from an out-and-out QB controversy and the need almost to rebuild around Larry Johnson. Larry Johnson carried the ball 400+ times last year, and it seems that with that amount of carries, and injury is inevitable. That would be catastrophic to this ballclub. Their OL which has been a model of success in past years is old, and has lost its two best members, Willie Roaf and Will Shields, and the rushing attack will definately decline with the loss of these two players. Also, age remains an issue and it surely will rear its ugly head, as Gonzales, LG Brian Waters, WR Eddie Kennison, and CB's Ty Law and Patrick Surtain all enter the twilight of their NFL careers. Also, suspension to Jared Allen for the first two games of the season will hurt.
Betting Lines: 55/1 to win the Super Bowl, 30/1 to win the AFC, and 10/1 to win their division.
Final Outlook: The Chiefs are a team that seems on a precipice this season. Age, potential injuries, and a lack of depth will surely reveal themselves over the course of the season. This is a team I can see having a very tough time winning a lot of games this year, and possibly entering a rebuilding stage for the franchise. The tough schedule won't help either. I seem them finishing 5-11 to 7-9, with a top 10 draft pick likely, and change this offseason.

4. Oakland Raiders
Yuck
What's to Like: Very, very little. JaMarcus Russel has pro skills and could be a very good QB in this league. They have a strong platoon at running back with both LaMont Jordan and Dominic Rhodes. The defense ranked #1 against the pass, and Nandi Asomugah is gonna be a star, and I like the adddition of Donovan Darius, who I still feel has some juice in his legs. Also, Lane Kiffen cannot possibly be any worse than Art Shell was, so the team shouldn't be quite so anemic. Maybe.
What's Not To Like: Almost everything. Russel hasn't showed up yet so he will not be ready to start for a little while, meaning Daunte Culpepper, Andrew Walter, and Josh McCown are competing for a starting spot. Jordan rushed for less than 4.0 yards per carry last year, and Rhodes is missing the first 4 games through suspension. The WR corps has been weakened by the loss of Moss, and its not like they were doing anything special in the first place. Their offensive line is a joke, Robert Gallery is the best player on this line and that is shocking. Defensively, they were #1 against the pass because they were so awful against the run, and that really hasn't been dealt with this offseason. They are getting old, they have bad players, bad discipline, and last year were poorly coached, so there really is little hope for the radiers this year.
Betting Lines (for a laugh): 75/1 to win the Super Bowl, 35/1 to win the AFC, and 10/1 to win the West. Should be 1,000, 500, 250.
Outlook: Honest and brief: this team will be a top 5 draft pick team next year, with many holes to fill. I can't see them finishing better than 4-12. Yikes

Check back next for the AFC North or South, I haven't decided which yet, but they will probably take a while.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Dress Archie YouTube Recommendation of the Month...



If you don't know about "Animal Faceoff", you suck. Watch the series, except the Wolf vs. Cougar one; that one is stupid.

Oh yeah and PS: RIP Bill Walsh, and Hail Barry. Just had to get that up here.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Freekey Zekey: "Holy matrimony, Batman! I done did a fuckin' album"...


So recently I copped Freekey Zekey's album "Book of Ezekiel", the world-wide debut for the president of Diplomat Records. It was good timing, considering the arrival of the Dipset/Ramones shirt I bought off eBay. It's cool, but I realized they spelled "Freekey" wrong. Fuck.
Anyways, the album is OK. I've a few songs to put up here, and I won't go as far to say that I like them, but I will say that they're pretty catchy.

Daddy Back (w/ Cam'ron and Juelz Santana)
Actually, I realized I don't really like this song, but some of the lyrics are just too good to not put up:

Cam'ron:
Fellacio, that's when you grab her face and go
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, taste it ho

In her mouth I had to place it, yo
I let her hang out, she ain't have a place to go
But I let her go with Zeke in the Cadillac

Daddy back? Daddy back, huh huh, asthma attack

Brilliant.

Hater What You Lookin' At
This was the first single released, but I never heard it on the radio or anything. Maybe because it's not that good, or maybe because I don't really listen to the radio. The beat is so simple it's half-nauseating, half-addictive.
One thing I noticed about this album is that some of the chorus' (chori?) are almost Computer and Big Triece worthy:
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?

Go and get some paper stacks,
get some paper stacks.
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
[x2]

Shoot 'Em Up (w/ Hell Rell and JR Writer)
Probably my favorite off the album; it simply goes the hardest.
Another great chorus:
Shoot 'em up, bang bang,
Shoot 'em up, bang bang,

Shoot 'em up,

Shoot 'em up,

Shoot 'em up,

Shoot 'em up.
[x2]

This song also has my favorite rhyme of the album, from JR: "You know how me and Freekey do, pop a couple vehicles, shock 'em more than Pikachu". DIPS3T R TEH ROX0RZ!11!!one!

Here's a bonus track:
Pin the Tail (w/ Cam'ron, Juelz and Max B)
It's pretty much just a lesser version of "We Fly High" in all aspects. But it's still hella good, man.

Juanfeesh has become a total workaholic, RJ and Ninerpride are totally hopeless, and the namesake is still MIA, so I'm hoping hungryfortacos can provide some relief upon his return. Speaking of which, where the hell is he? Wasn't he supposed to get back like, Saturday?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Barry Bonds: Hero



As Barry Bonds approaches the hallowed mark of 755, I have taken the time to reflect on what the slugger means to San Francisco, and how nobody else gets it.
Rick Reilly, my most favorite sports writer in the entire UNIVERSE!!!OMGROFLZLOLLERSKATES, of course wrote his 4,596,303 article ripping Bonds to pieces in the most recent Sports Illustrated. What a bitch. This guy complains so much about Barry taking steroids and being a complete dick, that I'm beginning to think that he actually, literally, wants to suck his dick (yes, total homo).
In his most recent article, he called us fans here in San Francisco "Kool-Aid drinkers", which really ticked me off. I mean, first of all, Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple had their biggest following here, so, Rick, totally not cool.
More importantly, I just don't see how sports writers, and just people around the country, can't understand why we love Barry Bonds. He was the player of the 1990s, hit 73 homeruns in 2001, led our team to a World Series in 2002, is the only member of the 400-400 club and the 500-500 club, and now is the only position player who can hit on the entire fucking team. We've seen him do this all in front of us for the past 15 years, playing for our hometown team, and we're not supposed to cheer him on? If it weren't for him, this entire organization would be in the shitter. Imagine the memories he's left us with. We're supposed to boo? Throw syringes at him? No fucking way. I cheer for my team, and its best player. The fact that he is a dick to reporters doesn't bother me, because I have grown to hate most sports writers these days (and yes, he's probably a dick to teammates as well, except no one has really ever expressed that except for Cunt, ahem, Kent). The steroids thing? Well...
Let me put it this way. Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de Frances in a row. After undergoing intensive chemotherapy. 7-in-a-fucking-row. The European media, especially the French, have published numerous articles and books concerning doping allegations held against Armstrong, which I for one am certainly glad are all false. The French hated Lance during his incredible run. It couldn't be possible, they thought, that a man who lost a lot of his career to cancer was able to dominate a sport, when all of his best competition had all eventually been linked to doping (Landis, Basso, Ullrich, and now Rasmussen, for example). Yet we Americans loved him , he was our homegrown hero after all, and he had never actually tested positive (coincidentally, Rick Reilly also loves to ride Lances jock, total homo). Sound familiar?
Clearly, there are holes in the comparison, but I stand by the general principles. I just don't understand why it is so hard for people to accept the fact that Bay Area fans will never betray Barry.

On another note, when discussing plans for 756, Duane Kuiper said that Russ Hodges' call of Robbie Thompsons "Shot Heard Round the World" was the greatest moment in sports commentating history ("The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant!").

I respectfully disagree, and nominate this choice, featuring the voice of Victor Hugo Morales:

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Second Coming...

What Pele tried 30 years ago, David Beckham (ankle permitting) will attempt on Saturday; bring life to US soccer.



This video is hilarious, not really for what's in it, but for all the comments below it on YouTube. Basically it's just a bunch of ignorant people arguing back and forth about who's better, Bush or Beckham. From what I've read, the "soccer" fans make complete asses of themselves, claiming that a) Beckham is faster than Reggie (just wrong) b) Beckham can kick the football farther than Reggie (ok, maybe, but totally irrelevant) and c) Beckham is better than Reggie at football, because he beats him one-on-one running a receiver route. Ok, whatever.
First off, Beckham would get destroyed playing in the NFL, that much we all know. Secondly, and I suspect every European would get very mad at me for this, I still stand by the fact that if the US shared the rest of the worlds passion for the original "football", we would destroy everyone. (Yeah, I know, we have way more people than most of the countries we play against but still, we would shit on everyone. So too bad for them.)
Imagine trying to guard Calvin Johnson on a corner kick. See, you can't, because it would be the hardest thing in the world, ever, period.

Anyways, back to the point. I, like many here in the US, are waiting for Beckhams debut with much anticipation. I hope his ankle "heels" (I'm so awesome) by Saturday, or atleast he is able to play some decent minutes- MLS really doesn't want to have this debut, which they've produced several commericals for, not happen. I think that Beckham coming is great for soccer here in the states, considering all the buzz it has created and revenue it's producing.
However, it's clear the US has a long way to go. Reading articles by American sports columnists about Beckham and soccer in general sound totally ignorant.
There were a reported 3,000 people at Beckham's first practice. 30,000 showed up to Henry's first appearance at the Nou Camp.
And, columnists are already trying to create the whole situation in to some reality show. Yahoo!'s esteemed Josh Peter is already trying to muck-rake, and some chump named Santino Quintara is spreading shit about the Galaxy's dynamic going down the tubes. He said "To me, it doesn't seem like Alexi (...Lalas, the Galaxy GM) and Frank (...Yallop, Galaxy Coach) are on the same page". Well, Santino, it seems to me that no one knows who you are. So shut up, hope that your league gains some revenue, respectability and talent from all this, so we have to stop going 0-3 in the goddamn Copa America.

Stay tuned, to see if anyone else is ever going to post again...
Have a good summer.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Fantasy Baseball Midseason Review




Now that the baseball season is at its midpoint, it is time for our annual Midseason Review.
You can find the preseason review here, and like I say in the comments, I stand by any prediction I made before. Clearly, I was wrong on alot of shit. Some things I would like to point out are: Archie saying in the comment section "i dont know shit about baseball", and John asking "is that actually Scott?".

Team

R

H

HR

RBI

SB

AVG

OPS

Total

Yeast

12

11

12

10

12

11

11

79

Yum

11

12

5

11

10

12

7

68

Jizz

10

10

8

12

1

7

8

56

Teabag

9

6

1

1

6

8

9

40

FUCK

8

5

10

7

8

3

6

47

Rapex

7

4

9

5

11

2

2

40

Poop

6

8

2

8

7

4

1

36

Gyro

5

9

4

9

4

10

10

51

Ankles

4

3

11

4

2

9

12

45

Pat

3

7

3

6

9

6

3

37

Milkshake

2

1

7

2

5

1

4

22

phil

1

2

6

3

3

5

5

25


Team

IP

W

CG

SV

K

ERA

WHIP

Total

Yeast

8

11

12

7

8

3

5

54

Yum

9

3

11

4

12

7

3

49

Jizz

12

4

6

8

7

1

1

39

Teabag

3

7

8

3

4

11

11

47

FUCK

4

5

2

11

5

8

6

41

Rapex

11

10

3

2

10

5

4

45

Poop

5

6

4

12

9

12

10

58

Gyro

7

9

5

9

6

9

12

57

Ankles

6

8

9

6

3

10

9

51

Pat

10

12

7

10

11

6

8

64

Milkshake

2

2

10

5

2

2

2

25

phil

1

1

1

1

1

4

7

16


For those of you who don't know what that is (ugh), it is how our league would play out had it been in Rotisserie format. It is probably the most accurate indicator as to how talent in a league is actually distributed (points leagues are too subjective), and it is how all fantasy experts play.

Below are the point totals of each team, and the order in which we would be aligned right now. In parenthesis are the actual place of each team.

Bubblingyeastvag: 133 (1)
Poopy slurppy yum: 117 (5)
Suck My Gyro Balls: 108 (2)
THE Pat Ryan: 101 (4)
Ankles and not yets: 96 (6)
Upperdeckdiarrheajizz: 95 (8)
Diarrhea Poop Fuck: 94 (10)
FUCKDISSHIT: 88 (7)
DiceK Will Teabag U: 87 (3)
Rapexrippin’cock: 85 (9)
Diarrhea Milkshake: 47 (11)
Phil did it again eww: 41 (12)

First of all, I must tip my hat to the namesake, Mr. Archibald "i dont know shit about baseball" Hunter. I was impressed by your team coming in, even though clearly you had no idea what you were doing, and now you are easily the best team in the league. I'm happy you've actually started paying attention to fantasy. I don't feel bad at all for Ian, being clearly the second best team but suffering from the Head-to-Head format, because he is a homo-ghey-ass Dodger fan that deserves to be torn up by John's rapexrippin'cock. Love you, Ian. Also, credit is due where credit is due, and Clay, I applaud you for your brave approach. I never thought taking prospects and nursing-home patients would work, but I was wrong. Good for you, cocksucker.
I, once again am clearly being screwed, but it still wouldn't put me in a playoff spot. I predicted my team to win when all was said and done, which I still predict, but I admit it's still pretty shitty. My hitting clearly needs work, but with the underachieving trio of Pujols/Berkman/Beltran heading the way, I'm starting my late push.
Krem-dog is also being screwed over, as he would be in line for a playoff spot but instead is floundering in 8th. Clearly the biggest discrepency here is Dice-K Will Teabag U. Matthay I don't know how you do it, but sitting pretty in 3rd when your team clearly doesn't deserve it is pretty impressive.
Oh, and, a standing "O" to brave Mr. Watkins, who came just two categories away from finishing dead last in every single pitching category. I couldn't do it if I tried.

Good luck to everyone, except Archie, Clay, Mark, Zach, Ian, Kremer, Trevor, John and RJ. Alex and Harry? You go, girls.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

dress archie loves munichen

we missed the amstedam post because out of the sheer inability of describing in type the experience of the city. we smoked some dank which just made us lazy and unable to explore the city. then we took some of earths most trippy substances which made us see some amazing colors and visions this blogs contibutors have seen. we had some deap thoughs and even more memorable sights that we will not mind showing as you dwelve into the journals that we all contibuted to in some way or another. amsterdam showed us some amazing sights and experiences but now that we are in munich after an interesting and extremely long train ride we have even more to tell which hungry for tacos will now explain.

To start off we are on munich's hype. This city is amazing. Last night we went to an abanodned beer haus. Great!!!! Now we went to the most famous beer garden in all of germany and we sat at the members only table. We showed many respect that it deserved because it was unbeileivable. We each drank three litres. Great!!! of haus beer. Party. The best beer haul in all of Germany and we sat at the table where Sylvester Stallone and the people who rep the people once sat. It was a fucking honor. An honor. An honor. I am proud to report this all to you. YaY. Time to pass out. YAY. Done.

Collaboration of hungryfortacos, widukind, abriendobitches, juanfish, and the namesake.

RIP INJURYPRONE