"I need a release..."

Basically, I have this massive music boner, and I need satisfaction. The innocent "lady" might tell me (which would break my heart) to satisfy myself, but this would be awfully tragic, and I would probably end up crying myself into limpness, which is unacceptable. Why should I not get what I want? Who/what is holding me back? Isn't there a more worthy recepticle for my proverbial musical seed than just a tissue? Is there? Lucky for me, I am hooking up with a slut (the internets), so I am the one who needs the coaxing.

"I have been holding this back for a while," I say timidly, "so I don't know how long I can last. This might be pretty embarrassing, so give me two go 'rounds so I can prove myself the second time and make it much more worth your while."

"Don't worry about it," says she, "I'm sure you'll be great."

"I wouldn't be so sure..."

"Oh c'mon, you can't be terrible if you don't even try."

"You're right," I say, so I hop in and fight like a champ:

Music for ears:

It has been a while, but one thing still remains, music is good. Boobies are good. So not knowing what to do, I caress the boobies (musics) and I shall give you--excuse me, "my sexy lady friend"--what I have gotten to like recently.

KRS-One: MCs Act Like They Don't Know Me (Produced by DJ Premier)- Arguably one of the best possible one-two punches when it comes to DJ-MC combos, this song packs a powerful punch of rhymin' and Premier's ability to lay down a mesmorizing beat. I'm starting to get my rhythm back, slow it down baby...slo..slow....

Juice Crew: The Symphony- This be Marly Marl. The crew be Big Daddy Kane, Kool G Rap, Masta Ace, TJ Swan, Biz Markie, Mr. Magic, MC Shan, Craig G, Tragedy Khadafi, Roxanne Shanté, DJ Polo & Cool V. Comin' out of Queensbridge. Tearin' it up a little too much for the tastes of Marly. But whuteva. I like it. Babydoll likes my flow. She's feeling it now. I get comfortable. I keep going....




Kid Cudi: Is There Any Love (ft. Wale) and Down & Out- Two tracks off of the mixtape "A Kid Named Cudi" that I found most appealing. Not exactly rap (as astutely stated by blogmiester [spellcheck thought that was a word] WIDUKIND), but "Is There Any Love" is a pretty strong song with a catchy chorus (which I think is Bob Marley) and "Down & Out" is a pretty good anthem. Slow, but subtle. The ladies like this one, actually they may not. I am not an expert.

The Beastie Boys: So What'Cha Want- Sounds like the tape got dropped in a bucket of distortion. Crunchy. Bumps like the Godzilla soundtrack. Got this from one of my favorite blogs, outsidebroadcast. This is more of a song to feature this blog, run by one of my inspirations, DJ Eli Escobar. Great taste in music, ya'll should check it out. Really into old school rap, house, soul, R&B, motown, you name that shit. name it. name it. I let out a huge fart while in the throws. I pretend not to hear it, but the sound is suspended in the room as if trapped in agar. She laughs, I laugh like I think its funny, but my libido is roughly the size of my cornhole...trying to trap in the next gastric embarrassment. Let's pray [bow your head and pray with me]...

Pete Rock & CL Smooth: Ghettos of the Mind- something to get my flow back. Another song from an album featured on outsidebroadcast. This song is ill. These guys are ill. Like ebola, or Hakeem Thabeet at the beginning of last year, except this doesn't fall off in the big dance, it steps up and busts out some crazy two-step that makes her go: "Oooooooo! (but nice and slow like)"

Busy Signal: Jail- Great hook, this song is for the people who have spent time in jail, so don't even listen to it. Just read the title, then skip it. (If you did that, you are an asshole, stop smoking so much weed. But smoke when you listen to this.) Check out his new CD when it drops Tuesday.

Dennis Brown: Things in Life- One of the songs from Wong Car Wai's Chungking Express. A wonderful care free raggae number with one of the catchiest little trumpet riffs I have heard since trumpet was cool, like ska or something. Slow. Slow. Slloowww.. AH! Faster faster-faster--

Max Justus: Seven and Everybody Dance Now- Two good techno songs. I pick up the tempo because I am reaching my pinnicle. These songs are pretty bumping. Good car songs. Reggie knows what I am talking about (he had "Seven" on during his first punt returned for a touchdown and "Everybody Dance Now" when he brought back the second. I sent them to him last Saturday.)

ssshhHAAAAZZZAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!

I lasted a minute-fifteen! Yay! "Just give me a minute to boot up again..."

Back soon with more. A little rusty this time, but once I get back on form, ooo baby! Look out!

A video to pass the time: