Medley Time!

The third in a three-part study of the ever-difficult life of an athlete/rapper.

Next up: Rappers that play sports...? Maybe not.

Bienvenue Dans Le Texas – Tony Parker

Holy Shit! Not at all what I was expecting. Super grimy southern-beat laced with club-popping synth and heavy bass...
Verdict? Tony Parker go! Yeah!

Can’t Be Touched – Roy Jones Jr.

Prolly one of the best songs, ever. Pumps you up, gets you out your seat. You know those conversations that come up multi-annually (...word?), the ones about if you could have a theme-song to your life what would it be? Or if you were an MLB closer what would your entrance music be? Or a WWE wrestler?
Yeah, well, this one has to be up there, no matter the situation.

If Your Bitch Knew – 7^th Floor Crew

If you don’t have this already—you need it. It’s a less intelligent, more skeezy version of Too Shorts epic “Freaky Tales”. 9 minutes of pure Miami Hurricane football. Except take out the “football” and put in “ludicrously vivid raps about everyone on the 7^th floor running trains on girls”.

Some excerpts:

She thought 52 was just my number then she realized,
You multiply the bitch up and get my dick size.
First I put it in the pussy and then in the butt,
It’s all closed up, the condom is filled up.

-Tavares “T-Good” Gooden. This guy has the worst flow. Ever. Period. Shit. Wow.

Whats your name?
Dub-C.
What you do?
Trick-or-Treat.
How you do it?
Check the bag and find my wee-wee.

-Willie “Dub-C” Cooper gettin’ ultra-cheeky!!!
Only to be outdone by Jon “Big Beas” Beason…

What’s your name?
Big Beas.
What you do?
Skeet Skeet.
How you do it?
Bust a nut, aim for her mouth-piece.

I love this fucking song. I fucking love this song. I love fucking this song! Chya!

Thus concludes my journey in to the world of athlete/rappers. What did we learn? They really can’t rap. But with their money, don’t be surprised if they can get a good enough producer to pump out some semi-catchy tracks.
No matter what, they’re usually just really fucking funny.

Vacation has finally ended after a glorious week, and school is back in session. But so is the blog!
Over, Oveur.