In the NFL, I lived on two and a half hours' sleep, it caught up to me, but that's the way I rolled: butt-naked booty bumpin"...

The quote this week to commemerate my NFL picks comes from none other than Nate Newton, the man who I used to think was the fattest man alive, and the pro football player that was found with 213 lbs of weed in his van one time, and than 5 weeks later with 175 lbs of weed. That's a lot of fucking dank. Anyways on with the picks: I was 7-9 on my picks last week which makes me 15-17 on the season and was 5-11 against the spread again, making me 10-22 on the season. That means i can only improve. Onwards!!!

Thursday 5:00 PM
Niners at Seahawks
This match-up doesn't bode very well for the Niners. Playing in Seattle is never easy as they have one of the best 12th men in the game with their crowd, and it always gets tougher to play there as the season wares on. However, both of these two teams are coming off of a defeat and it will be interesting to see how each responds. The last time the Niners played Seattle we saw a steady dose of Frank Gore and if Nolan has a head on his shoulders he should continue to give him the load. Alex Smith has regressed with the progression of the season and they should focus, like I said last week, with short and middle range passes as he does not have a great downfield arm. I am curious to see how mister VD does this week and whether he has any highlights in store. Seattle's veteran leadership allows them to win this game but the Niners will put up one last good fight before there season ends officially.
Prediction: Seahawks, Seahawks -10

Saturday 5:00 PM
Dallas at Atlanta
Interesting game here this week especially after the Tony Romo bubble burst a little last week. He didn't have a great game against the Giants, and he continued that up with a poor game against the Saints. The Falcons are coming off an important win and are right in the middle of the Wild Card hunt, like they are every year, and I anticipate that they will blow it like they do everyyear. The Dallas defense is fast and strong and should be able to contain Michael Vick and his poor group of Wide Receivers and I like the Cowboys to pick apart the Falcons offensively. I think this could actually be sort of a blowout, yet the Falcons are one of those teams who could play lights out and then win this game by 2 touchdowns. Plus the Falcons are hurting a bit.
Prediction: Cowboys, Cowboys -3 1/2

Sunday 10:00 AM
Cleveland at Baltimore
Baltimore dominated Kansas City, one of the few things I got right last week, while Cleveland was dominated by the Steelers. I like the Ravens in this matchup, obviously, even though the last time they played the game was real close. I think it will be close once again, with the Baltimore D posting either a 0 or keeping the Browns in single digits, while the Ravens don't score more than 17 points.
Prediction: Ravens, Browns (my 1-1 cover team) +11 1/2

Detroit at Green Bay
I don't really have much to say on this. Two bad teams this year that are really struggling this year, even though the Pack upset the Niners last week. Favre finally got his shit together, which in a way was nice to see, and I think he'll lead the Pack to victory again in Lambeau in December. The Lions are without Kevin Jones (good news for my fantasy matchup) and will become one-dimensional early which is not neccesarily good with Jon Kitna at QB.
Prediction: Packers, Pack -5 1/2

Houston at New England
There's no way Tom Brady will lose again in December, right? right? I think he'll finally get his shit together this week and stop killing my fantasy team. The Texans are not a terrible team in my book, but they gotta be feeling like r-tards for passing up on Vince Young, Reggie Bush, and Matt Leinart who have all had decent years. The Pats will win this game at home in December, they should dominate on the ground as the Texans are giving up 124 ypg on the ground. Bill Belichick will have them ready and with their head in the game, and they aren't going to slip up again on their road to the postseason.
Prediction: Pats, Pats -11 1/2

Jacksonville at Tennessee
A funny little matchup this. Jacksonville is coming off murdering the Colts, but they always play better at hom. Tennesee has got a 3 game winning streak going, and Vince Young has taken the ROY pole position. Jacksonville is the more talented team here and I expect them to win, but no team is more inconsistent. Tennessee's rushing game is what their offense is based around, they are in the top 5, while Jacksonville's rushing D is in the top 5. In that matchup, the one that will decide the game, I think the Jags win, as Marcus Stround and John Henderson can clog up the middle and force Vince Young into passing to win, which who knows? He might just do it.
Prediction: Jags, Titans +3 1/2

Miami at Buffalo
Another silly little matchup. Both teams coming off huge upset wins. One beating the Jets, the other beating the Pats. A game that really has little riding on it, but since it is in Buffalo in the winter, and the Fish are a warm weather team, I like the Bills. The Bills are probably the team I know the least about in the NFL this year, they are third to last offensively and in the middle of the road defensively. I normally really like the Fins, but this time, i just can't see them pulling it out. Best wishes to Daunte Culpepper: I hope he gets healthy now that he's on IR and can come back and have at least 1 good year.
Prediction: Bills, Bills -1

N.Y. Jets at Minnesota
Two teams that I have seen labeled with the "sleeper" tag. The Jets could still sneak into the playoffs, while more unlikely after their loss last week, while the Vikings are 6-7 but play the Jets, the Packers and the Rams, and with three wins they could make the playoffs. I don't find that likely, but a couple guys on ESPN are toting them big time. The Jets statistically are one of the worst teams in the league, they are in the bottom half for both offense and defense but have a lot of those immeasureables, such as heart and desire. Mangini has really inspired them and I think he'll have them ready for the game this week and the Jets will win. The Vikes are well coached as well and are in the top 5 defensively, so I think this will be a low-scoring tight affair. The Jets pull out the upset though.
Prediction: Jets, Jets +3

Pittsburgh at Carolina
One team rising quickly and the other falling quickly. I hate the Steelers a lot, but if they had gotten hot earlier, they would have had the tools to make the playoffs. Even with that said, they are 6-7 and to some extent have their future in their hands as if they win this week, they will play the two teams ahead of them, the Ravens and the Panthers. The Panthers on the other hand are falling fast and are suffering from the injury bug. Hines Ward is back for the Steelers, and if the Panthers starting CB's are still out- both are questionable- the Steelers as much as I hate to say it should be able to throw all day on the Panthers. The Steelers are in good shape for this one after a long week.
Prediction: Steelers, Steelers (no line)

Tampa Bay at Chicago
One of the best defense of the late 90's and early 00's faces the best defense of the middle 00's. The Bears D is mean. They will shut down the little offense that the Bucs offense has at this point. The TB defense is not what it used to be, they are right in the middle of total defense, and while the Bears O is pretty poor, it won't hurt them til the playoffs. A 14 point spread is fucking huge though, the Bears don't cover, but still win comfortably.
Prediction: Bears, Bucs +14

Washington at New Orleans
I really dislike Washington and am writing a lot more this week and this is taking a while this week, so I won't comment on this game in depth because I see it being one sided. Saints at the Superdome. That's all that needs to be said.
Prediction: Saints, Saints -10

Sunday 4:00 PM
Denver at Arizona
The battle of the rookie white QB's. Here is my big upset of the week; I like the Cards in this game. They have one their last two games and I think they will keep it up this week as well. Their win last week was big; no one thought they could beat the Seahawks, and Denver's really reeling. I'm not faulting Shanahan, but did he really think the Broncs would have a better shot with a rookie QB at the helm? I mean they were still a team with a winning record.
Prediction: Cardinals, Cards +3

St. Louis at Oakland
Another shitty game, possibly the worst of the week. St. Louis is reeling, the Raiders suck, and neither of these teams have anything to play for. I want the Raiders to win, but I just don't see that happen. Its time for them to start thinking about one of the top 2 picks of the draft. Do they go with Brady Quinn? Do they go with a new coach? Do they shock everyone and take Troy Smith? One mock draft has them taking Calvin Johnson. That's a raider nation silver and black pick.
Prediction: Rams, Rams +2 1/2

Giants at Philadelphia
The most important game for both these teams this year. The game earlier this year was epic, if you were a Giants fans, and both teams have reason to be optimistic going into this game. The Eagles have won back-to-back games, and Jeff Garcia has them in position to make the playoffs with a win. On the other hand, Eli Manning has finally gotten his shit together, with 5 touchdowns and 0 picks in the last two weeks while managing the game like a pro. I hate the fucking Eagles and the Giants need to win, as if they do they will be in the drivers seat for making the playoffs. I think this will be a close NFC East game no matter what. The weather is sposed to be nice, but typical of Giants stadium in December its gonna be really windy, making it tough for both teams to throw the ball. In a running game, I like the Giants to win, as they are 8th in the league in both rushing the ball and stopping the run. The Eagles on the other hand are a pass first team, and this will doom them this week in Giants Stadium...Hopefully.
Prediction: Giants, Eagles +6

Sunday 5:15 PM
Kansas City at San Diego
The Bolts are now officially the best team in the NFL and are playing like it. LT is a boss, Antonio Gates is a boss, and everyone else knows their role and performs it well. Kansas City is fucking desperate for a win to keep their playoff hopes alive after losses to B-More (yay the Wire!) and Cleveland. The Chargers have little to play for at this point, and this is my other upset of the week. Its unlikely, but I think this week they take their foot off the gas, and lose a squeaker. LT has only 1 touchdown, and to be honest if I'm Marty Schottenheimer I'm limiting him to 15 carries the next couple of weeks, as I think Antonio Turner is good enough to take some carries for the next three weeks.
Prediction: Kansas City, KC +9

Monday 5:30 PM
Cincinnati at Indianapolis
Last week I said I couldn't see the Colts losing back to back weeks and losing 3 out of 4, but this week I say their streak continues. That's right, I'm going with Cincy. I like the Bengals passing attack and rushing attack against the worst rushing defense in the league and they sure proved it last week against Jacksonville. Everything looks a little off for the Colts right now, I think they're going to be in a dogfight for their division title after this week.
Prediction: Bengals, Bengals +3 1/2

Enhance...