A Penny (Or Any Other Spare Change) For My Thoughts: Memoirs of a Homeless Black Man

DoucheGuy

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My friends, in these past few weeks I have found myself mired in a swamp of deep reflection. My thoughts have varied like the tumultuous flight of the butterfly, so I have chosen to write this post in Scott Ostler form, i.e. a buncha lil' bullet points. So here is HomelessNigg's very own version cheap shots, deep thoughts, and bon mots.

• First, a query: Do you think we would still be friends with Abriendo if he regularly coiffed his hair like that? I'm inclined to think no. Unless he brought me a Nihat jersey from Turkey, which he is going to do anyway.
• Speaking of Turkey, kudos to those lads for a great Euro 2008 performance. I don't want to just jump on the "Praise the Turks" bandwagon here like every commentator I've heard, but it is pretty incredible that an already underwhelming team won some incredible games and dominated Germany for large parts of the semi-final when they were missing 7+ regulars. Turkish delight, indeed! I'm excited to see how Nihat, who's been playing brilliantly for Villareal both in real life and in my FIFA '07 franchise (yep, still going strong) will rub off on Jozy Altidore. I just hope, if Jozy is really as good as he seems, the US team doesn't turn into a North American version of Romania - relying pretty much on one dude (Mutu) to score every goal for his side.
• Speaking of Altidore, I really like that guy. I remember seeing an interview of the fella and he just seemed so composed, so genuine. I also learned through Sports Illustrated that he sends over 500 texts a day to his friends. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Can you get carpel tunnel from doing that shit?
• You know what's really been pissing me off lately? Beer commercials. Hey, I appreciate the wonderful people at Coors and truly enjoy what they do, but I don't need a bunch of fucking mountains to turn blue to let me know that my beer is cold. I also despise that little gimmick because it reminds me of one from my childhood that I fell for. I forget the name of the cereal, but I distinctly remember Count Chocula telling me that the instant my milk touched that cereal, little ghosts would fly up in the air and fill the room. Bought the cereal, poured the milk. No fucking ghosts. I was crushed.
• Also, I have a question for the good people at Anheuser-Busch. What the fuck does "superior drinkability" even mean? I would argue that anything with carbonation has inferior drinkability; you can't chug it nearly as well. Whoever thought of that little advertising phrase should investigate the drinkability of a nice hot cup of Hemlock Tea. The Socrates kind, of course.
• I watched a bit of the NBA Draft today. Obviously, I was most interested in the fate of the Lopez twins, and where they ended up was intriguing indeed. One twin falls a bunch of spots on the draft board while the other leaps up it? How does that work? I like both of those guys, but I just can't see them being too great in the NBA. Too skinny, too unathletic. Also, the Disney thing worries me. I just can't see how you can go from singing "Pink Elephants on Parade" from Dumbo in the locker room to having an ultra-aggressive mentality on the court an hour later. "Have You Ever Seen an Elephant Fly" could work, though.
• Finally, back to the world of football. I Tivo'd the Spain v. Russia match and refused to look at my text messages all day yesterday. Unfortunately, as I was passing through Letterman Gym with my 14 lil' kindergarteners in Swimming Camp, my retard of a co-worker came up to me from behind, shook my shoulders, and screamed, "ESPAGNAAA!!" I would have slapped him across the face, but it would have set a bad example for the children. Also, little Kelly pooped herself about 2 minutes later, so I wouldn't have had much time if it had escalated into mortal combat. No joke, it was a "Code Brown" day at Y-Camp.
• My official updated prediction for the Euro 2008 final: Germany overcomes a sluggish start and a piece of magic from Fernando Torres to trump Spain 2-1. Klose and Ballack on the scoresheet for the Germans. Don't forget where ya heard it first.

As you probably could tell, I really had no material for this post, but I just felt like putting something on the ol' blog. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Let's get hammered tomorrow night.

Out like Arshavin from Zenit.

What hiatus? Summer jamz for sunny dayz..

I am in the work force. This mean pretty much nothing considering I have time to do this post while I am in the office, but the down hours during my employment has also yielded one of my newest pass time--the search for international music on the world wide web. Yes, there is plenty of music being made in the US to satisfy my music cravings, but something about the tracks created in the Caribbean and Africa really embodies some of my favorite ideals of the summertime. I just saw a band from Kenya perform, and it was a completely different music experience. One of my favorite websites as of late has been reggae-vibes.com, where I delve into the Top 20 Dancehall and Reggae charts from Kingston. This is the video for the number one reggae track on the island right now, and I thought I would put it up to hold ya'll over until I can get all the links together for the music that will be up by tomorrow... Black Judah ft. Warrior King - Mercy Please



Upcoming highlights include Richie Spice, Half Pint, Extra Golden, and many more...

Quote of the Year?

Toronto Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi was asked about acquiring Adam Dunn on his talk show the other day. He said:

Do you know the guy really doesn't like baseball that much? Do you know the guy doesn't have the passion to play the game that much?...We've done our homework on guys like Adam Dunn and there is a reason why we don't want Adam Dunn. I don't want to get into specifics. He is a lifetime .230 to .240 hitter that strikes out a ton and hits home runs.

Dunn, predictably miffed, replied:

I have a lot more important things to worry about than what some windbag GM in Canada says about me...Passion? He can say what he wants about the strikeouts and that I don't fit in their scheme, whatever, but you can't tell me about something you have no idea about. You're not even in the U.S., you're in Canada.

USA, FTW.

Worst Blog Post Ever? (No, not this one. Asshole.)

I probably should have known that reading Curt Schilling's blog would be a bad idea. It was. What an idiot.
I'll keep the summary short; Schilling wrote a blog post a few days ago on his observations of Game 2 of the NBA finals, and ripped into Kobe Bryant for being a bad teammate. Kobe responded by saying "Go Yankees!", and now there's a whole hullabaloo. (Quick note: I feel bad for the NBA. What could have been the best playoffs in a long time simply degraded in to a few boring months dominated by home teams and fake rivalries. Basically, Chris Paul needs to make the Finals in 2009.)
Anyways, before he offered the public his unparalleled knowledge of basketball, Schilling spoke about the recent spat between Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis. Here's what he had to say:

Manny vs. Youk, round 1. Trust me, this was a TOTAL non-issue and an event that happens far far more than you ever see or hear about. Many times, most times, events like this play out in clubhouses and no one outside the team ever knows about it. Bottom line is that 99 times out of 100 these are never personal, just like this one...It happens, punches might get thrown, and it ends, and we move on.

Guru Schilling then provides his analysis of Kobe's leadership skills:

Kobe. This one stunned me a little bit. Who doesn’t know Kobe Bryant right? I only know what I have heard, starting awhile back with the entire Shaq debacle... From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy bitch at his teammates. Every TO he came to the bench pissed, and a few of them he went to other guys and yelled about something they weren’t doing, or something they did wrong. No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever. Let me reiterate that this is from a complete basketball newbie, so for all I know this could be exactly how these guys play this game and interact with each other.

Apparently Schilling is also a complete "compiling-an-effective-argument newbie" . These two quotes are so completely contradictory I'm not even sure what to say. I just can't believe it took someone who doesn't know anything about basketball to figure out the reason the Lakers swept the Nuggets, beat the Jazz in 6, and the Spurs in 5 was because they had terrible chemistry. Duh!

This whole post is made even better by the fact that Schilling himself is supposed to be a huge dick. God damnit.

Out like me ever reading Curt Schilling's blog again.

Euro 2008 thoughts (or more appropriately thought)...

Which would you rather:


or...



As I have watched ESPN's coverage of the Euro 2008's this past few days few things have made me happier than ESPN having only British guys announcing the games. Gone are the days of Marcelo Balboa and all the other American has-been's critiquing the best players in the world. To all non-soccer people out there that would be Brian Scalabrine critiquing Michael Jordan. Or to all you non-basketball people out there Sinbad hating on Richard Pryor.

As I listened to Andy Grey (the color commentator on the FIFA video games of my youth) announce today's soccer game, I found myself to be laughing on multiple occasions and I came to a realization. Almost anything said out of the mouth of a Scotsmen sounds kind of funny. Like when in the Portugal game where the keeper came out and the other announcer called it a move of confidence and Grey responded "Confidence? Extravagence I would call it" or in today's game where the other announcer commented that a ball kicked out of bounds was to no one and Grey said "No it wasn't. It was kicked perfectly to that guy in the 7th row".

If British announcers are so funny and good at announcing for soccer would they translate well to other sports? I for one believe they would. British announcers are critical of players, unlike American announcers (watch Chris Berman talk about Brett Favre), and often they let the game speak for itself. I would much rather hear a British dude announce American football, which might be heresy, than hear Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.

Joe Buck: Wow, I can't believe we had to show Randy Moss mooning the crowd.
Troy Aikman: I completly agree with you Joe, because it reminds me of the time I mounted you in a cheap hotel room.


In conclusion: make British announcers announce all Sporting events except for ones involving: Kruk and Kuip, Doc Emrick (he's the guy who does hockey), the guy who does football with the amazing voice, Jon Miller, and Charles Barkley.

Out like reading Bill Simmons.

Widukinds Diary Entry #18

I have perfected my argument for San Francisco Giants fans unabashed support for Barry Bonds during his extensive tenure here in this great city, which comes from a recent revelation I had (definitely not while sitting at work): nobody cheers for shitty players because they happen to be really nice guys. People cheer for great players, and sometimes they conveniently happen to be good guys and good sports. Nobody would have liked Larry Bird if he had sucked. If Larry Bird went out every night bricking free throws, committing dumb fouls, and turning the ball over, would Boston fans cheer for him and still worship him today?
You see, being nice is just icing on the cake. A cake without icing is a brownie. A lot of fucking people like brownies. But nobody likes eating icing. Sure, a scoop or two is nice, and provides you with the opportunity to say "Look, I'm just eating the icing! Lulz..." and to show that you're daring and "going against the grain", but after a while you get sick of it because it's no fun and you just end up looking like an idiot. It's like cheering for Marvin Benard. (I have no idea whether or not he was nice, but he looked kinda friendly, and he did suck.) Everybody else in the country was simply jealous because San Francisco had Barry Bonds, so they had to play on him being an asshole and a liar to use it against us by calling us bad fans. But I can guarantee that none of those people cheered for Marvin Benard. Nobody cares about Marvin Benard. Nobody looked at the Giants in 2000 and said, "You know, Bonds is such a dick, but how 'bout that Benard guy? Wow, is he nice. I'm going to buy his Fathead." People these days make such a big deal when professional athletes are dicks, but nobody cares when a regular dude is nice. People like to rip on Bonds for being a "cheater", an asshole, and a liar. In their eyes, this made San Franciscans (and Bay Areans) bad fans. But until those people can prove that they themselves put personality before stardom in terms of who they root for, those people should shut up. Face it; nobody cares about Marvin Benard. Nobody eats icing.

After fleshing out this argument, I present my indestructible defense of Barry Bonds and us Giants faithful, a list I hope any readers will use in contention of their bigot college friends.
Scenario 1) Some asshole actually tries to bring up the steroids topic in a direct attack on Bonds. This argument is so tired and irrelevant that you might as well take a dump on the person's shoes and just walk away. This tactic is especially effective, because you're essentially saying "You're so low that I deem it worthy to poop on you, but you're so low that I don't even warrant this an appropriate situation in which to expend some significant effort and poop on your face." Everyone did steroids. No one else hit 762. No one else is a member of the 400/400 or 500/500 club. No one else won 7 MVPs. We need to just leave the steroid era behind us, and if that means pretty much forgetting about Barry, then that's a fine compromise with me. Baseball has such an unbelievably bright future right now, and it would be a shame to let the real assholes like Mark Fainaru-Wada and George Mitchell keep ruining it.
Scenario 2) Someone discredits Giant fans intelligence because we continued to support Barry, despite swirling accusations of steroids and the fact that he was a dick. I defended this attack here. If you're too lazy to read that, just do the following: someone says "San Franciscans are all sheep", you say "Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de Frances in a row, after chemotherapy, amid steroid accusations, and while alot of his competitors eventually got linked to doping. But every American still loves him." There are holes, but it works.
Scenario 3) Someone says Barry was not a team player, rude to the media, and an asshole. Probably all true. But to this you can say "He played his ass off in '02 during the World Series, fuck the media, (and then a condensed version of what I wrote above about Marvin Benard and cake)." I haven't tried it out yet, but it's obviously completely foolproof.

I'm out like Barry Bonds playing again. About a third of me would love to see him come back and DH for someone like the Indians, but two-thirds of me realize it's time to let it go, and that it would feel pretty shitty if he happened to win a World Series not in a Giants uniform.

EDIT: Hungryfortacos has kindly reminded me that "Barry is old news". Despite the fact that I say that already in this post, twice, I would like to clarify that yes, he is old news. But people like to argue, and people like to win arguments even more. This post is fsimply or anyone who gets encountered by a Barry hater, because they will be around. Forever.

Wale: The Mixtape About Nothing

Many of you have already heard Wale's newest drop in my car in the past week. Like his first mixtape 100 Miles and Running that was posted on this blog, this new Seinfeld inspired opus is pure gold. Over this past year, Wale has been on the verge of coming out with some material that is going to push him into superstardom, and this newest work may be what he needed to that final push. After a couple of listens through the entire mixtape you start to realize the things that set Wale apart from a lot of other hip hop acts, such as his lyrics, which touch on issues other than bitches, hoes, and Louis Vuitton (there is a mention of Gucci sneaks, but I will let it slide). Another aspect of his music that makes it so grabbing to me is the different tempos that he utilizes in his music. One of my favorite tracks "The Bmore Club Slam" uses a tempo that I have never really recognized in hip hop, and the song BUMPS. Listen to the whole thing through, and although the first half of the album is usually what is listened to, the best tracks come after track 8 or 9. This should not detract from the first half, which is almost equally as good and has featured artists such as Bun B and Pusha T. Favorite tracks: "The Feature Heavy Song", "The Freestyle", "The Manipulation", "The Artistic Integrity", "The Bmore Club Slam", and "The Hype". Enjoy.

Wale - The Mixtape About Nothing

Let me take a trip down memory lane...

The other day I was writing my last paper before finals while listening to Jay-Z's Reasonable Doubt and texting HungryforTacos. Admittedly, Reasonable Doubt is a new album for me. I've always liked Hov's flow but I never got around to collecting his tracks. But, as I listened early to Shaun Carter, I couldn't help but think of his lifetime rival's first album.

Nas' first album, Illmatic, is hands down my favorite album ever. The album came out two years before Jay-Z's debut and despite their regional similarity (Nas is from Queensbridge and Jay-Z is from Brooklyn) the two rappers have very distinct flows. It is almost disappointing how good the album was given Nas' career. The entire album was recorded when Nas was only 19 yet the content and lyrics are some of the smartest and, astoundingly, some of the most profound I've ever been witness too. Here's one example from "Memory Lane":

Rap divine Gods check the prognosis, is it real or showbiz?
My window faces shootouts, drug overdoses
Live amongst no roses, only the drama, for real
A nickel-plate is my fate, my medicine is the ganja

Or this example from "N.Y. State of Mind":

It drops deep as it does in my breath
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined
I think of crime when I'm in a New York state of mind

"Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined"? From a kid on the streets my age? Nas didn't even finish eighth grade. I'm continually impressed. Maybe that was the problem. This album was real, it was when he was still on the streets, still connected. Since then it just hasn't been the same. Besides the lyrics, though, the beats are unbelievable. Check the base lines in "N.Y. State of Mind." Correction, smoke, then check that base. Sick.

Nas - Illmatic (Full Album)

Highlight tracks for those without much time include "It Ain't Hard to Tell," "Represent," "Memory Lane," and "New York State of Mind," a song I believe may be my favorite song ever.

Now I'm sure the more esteemed rap collectors on this blog have had this album forever and this post may feel repetitive, but when was the last time you listened to an Illmatic track? Been a while I bet. (Watch me be wrong of course.)

I'd also be interested in reading some predictions about the upcoming Euro 2008 Cup from some of the more knowledgeable footy fans here.

Wisdom be leaking out my grapefruit

2008 MLB Draft

Three or even two years ago, doing a mock draft for the MLB Draft would be a joke post. Not because it would be impossible to predict the first round, but more because it usually takes draft picks a few years in the minors before they even emerge on the Major League scene. Recently, especially with college hitters and pitchers, the term fast-riser has been thrown around, and some players such as Ryan Zimmerman and Tim Lincecum have made considerable impacts on the Major League level within a year of being drafted. Some people believe David Price, the number 1 overall pick in last years draft, may do the same this year even though he is currently experiencing a run of poor performances in A ball. Combine these fast-risers with the changing free-agent scene, and the draft seems to have become more important in the last few years. ESPN has taken notice. Last year they ran a live broadcast of the entire first round and this year the are covering the draft from 2-9pm on the first day and 11:30am until the end on the second day. Now to me, the first round is the only one worth predicting. These are the players everyone expects to make an impact and everyone has been watching for some time. So here are my predictions for the first round. It’s a long read but it will get less detailed after the first ten picks.

1.Tampa Bay Rays: Buster Posey, C FSU
I can't remember a year (read: exaggeration) when Tampa hasn't had the first pick. Everyone loves them this year but with their run of high picks they would have to be complete morons to have not gotten at least a little better in the last few years. Now they have one of the best minor league systems in the league and a couple of very good players on the verge of becoming real stars in the game. Amazingly, even though they have first pick, I don't think they are going to pick based on best player available. For them it is either Posey or Beckham, based on organizational lead. They have potentially Reid Brignac at shortstop and no one at catcher so I see them going with Posey. Posey is an impressive athlete who was the Seminoles starting shortstop his freshman year who switched over to catcher because the team needed him there more. He's still a little green defensively but most people think with a little more work he's a potential gold glove who can hit above .300. He has a cannon too. He's the closer for the Seminoles and features a fastball of 93 to 96. The only hole people find in him is a lack of plus power. I think that's OK since he's a catcher and catchers aren't usually known for their power. Think Joe Mauer with a little more power and a little less average.

2.Pittsburgh Pirates: Tim Beckham, SS HS
This pick is tough to predict. I think they'll take Beckham because they need a high potential player and it is not like their offense is one hitter away from being a playoff team. Beckham is the best athlete in the draft, a poor-man's Justin Upton with the bat (considerably less power) and a much better defender. A lot of people have him falling to the Giants, which HungryforTacos would love (he's black and fast) but I don't know how much I would like that. Yes, he's a great athlete, and we could really use a shortstop, but he's never shown real power with the bat even though he has fast hands. That scares me and makes him seem like a bit of risk for an organization like the Giants that sucks at developing hitters. Still, he's a nearly five-tool potential and if his power develops (which some scouts say it may because of his lightening quick hands) then you have the potential for a Justin Upton that can actually play middle infield.

3. Kansas City Royals: Brian Matusz, LHP University of San Diego
Solid, three-pitch lefty who has a high ceiling and could be a fast-riser. Extremely polished, good control, gets plenty of strikeouts. A safe pick at the least with a ceiling around Cole Hamels. I like him a lot from the few videos I've seen. The Royals need more young pitchers, although they may go with Alvarez here which would piss me off so much. They already have a lefty-hitting third baseman that is sick. They don't need another one. Assholes.

4. Baltimore Orioles: Gordon Beckham, SS University of Georgia
This is a wild-card pick here because most people have the Orioles looking for a pitcher to replace Bedard. But if Matusz is off the board, the next best is Aaron Crow who was absolutely disgusting to start the season with 43 scoreless innings in a row but he's had some back problems and mechanical issues since then so I think he's going to fall out of the top five. The other Beckham is white and may not be athletic enough to stick at SS on the major league level. Still, I love his bat (no homo). He hits for real power and average already (.402 and 22) and seems very polished. I imagine he could rise very quickly through the minor leagues. If anything, it sounds like scouts think he might focus a bit too much on power and they think he should try for a more line-drive swing. I would also like it if the Giants drafted him.

5. San Francisco Giants: Pedro Alvarez, 3B Vanderbilt
Let me first say I know it is really unlikely that Alvarez falls to number five. I'm just hoping his injury concerns (broke his hand at the beginning of the year) and subsequent lower than normal numbers scare off some teams. Also he's a Scott Boras guy, so that may count out the Pirates and the Orioles. The Giants could not ask for anything more than getting Alvarez with the fifth pick. He's a lefty-hitting third baseman with plus-plus power and an ability to hit for average. The only negative thing I've heard about his swing is his high strikeout totals. I think that is OK because a) as long as he hits for average it shouldn't make much of a difference and b) that may be a result of his injured hand this year. To top it off, most people think he's the most Major League ready of all the potential prospects because of his bat and defense. He would be perfect for the Giants in both the category of Best Player Available and Organization Need. I just have this wonderful image in my brain that has Angel batting third in 2011 backed up by Alvarez batting fourth. Devastating power right there, similar to Bonds and Williams in the 90s. If they don't get Alvarez, I think the Giants go with Justin Smoak, a first baseman from South Carolina. He's a switch-hitting first baseman with as much power as Alvarez and maybe a better potential average hitter. Sounds a lot like Mark Texiera to me. The only reason I like Alvarez better is that Smoak is stuck at first. He's not athletic and it would be very difficult to move him to the outfield with his thick, unathletic legs. So, even if Angel is a ways off, it scares me having a player such as Smoak potentially blocking Angel's rise to the majors. Still, I would be happy if we got either Smoak or Alvarez. Both are fast-rising power bats, which is exactly what the Giants need. I really don't want us to draft a pitcher. We have plenty of young pitchers and no young hitters.

6. Florida Marlins: Aaron Crow, RHP University of Missouri
I’ve talked about him a bit before so I’ll be brief. Some people have the Marlins going with a high-risk, high-reward high school bat like Skipworth but if Crow falls to sixth I think the Marlins will take him. They need a pitcher bad. Real bad. Big guy, big fastball. Plus curveball. He made need to make some mechanical adjustments but I still see him as a nearly MLB ready pitcher. A bit like Greg Jennings.

7. Cincinnati Reds: Kyle Skipworth, C HS
Here’s the high-risk, high-reward player that always goes at the top of the draft. Not everyone is sure that Skipworth can stick at Catcher, but most really like his bat. He had a hit in 18 straight plate appearances, impressive given the fact that he apparently plays in a difficult HS league. Some people have called him the best HS catcher since Mauer, I’d say his ceiling is Victor Martinez but I don’t think he stays at catcher. He’s really good, though.

8. Chicago White Sox: Brett Wallace, 3B/1B Arizona State
This guy is nasty. I really don’t get how people have Hosmer, Alonso, and Smoak over him. I think Smoak has an edge because of his power but Wallace won the Triple Crown in the Pac-10 for the second year in a row. Most people think he’ll always be able to hit for average but some people put him at a ceiling of around 25 homeruns per year. I expect more. He does have a quick, short swing but his legs are tree trunks (some people think he’s really fat) and they supply a significant amount of power. Apparently the White Sox are the only ones that really love him, though, so I see him landing here.

9. Washington Nationals: Eric Hosmer, 1B HS
The consensus best bat in high school hasn’t wowed me to be honest. This is a first base heavy class and I’ve read a few reports that say Hosmer has the highest ceiling. But the only thing every scout says is that his bat is mature well beyond his age. I just don’t see it. I’m worried the Giants will pick him. And he’s another Boras guy.

10. Houston Astros: Shooter Hunt, RHP Tulane
The Astros need a pitcher bad and Shooter may be the best available after Crow and Matusz are gone. A month ago it would have been Tanner Scheppers but injury concerns have pretty much dropped him out of the first round. Shooter just sounds like a Texas player and he’s been a quality college starter so far. A safe pick for sure. If Skipworth gets past the Reds or Marlins, though, they may take him here.

11. Texas Rangers: Justin Smoak, 1B University of South Carolina
I’ve already talked about him a lot in the Giants section so I won’t say much. I don’t actually see him falling this far, though.

12. Oakland Athletics: Yonder Alonso, 1B University of Miami
This seems like the perfect A’s pick. He walks a bunch, rarely strikes out, doesn’t have much power (projects around 20-25 a year at best) but can really hit for average. Good opposite field hitter, too. Miami hitters have a good track record, though, with Ryan Braun being the most recent example.

13. St. Louis Cardinals: Jason Castro, C Stanford University
They may go with a high school bat here, but I think Castro is the safe pick. He’s definitely been overvalued by the fact that he’s a catcher, but Castro can still really hit for average and some power. I think he could be a 15 homeruns a season guy with a nearly .300 average. He hit really well in Cape Cod this past summer and has been the best Cardinal player this year. And he’s an SAE. SAE Stanford catchers have good track records. Yay Ryan Garko. (Also, I just know I’m going to see this comment in the comment section so I’m going to put it in before you guys get the opportunity: The only Stanford player selected in the first round would be named Castro. HAHAHAH. GAY. DURR STANFORD. DUrRR RJAY.)

14. Minnesota Twins: Aaron Hicks, RHP/OF HS
This year’s class if very thin on outfielders and Hicks may have the most potential of all of them. He hit .500 with 32 steals and 4 homerun his senior year. Those are some scary numbers. Another HungryforTacos potential prodigy. And he’s from Long Beach. He is also a potential pitcher with a cannon of an arm but he’s still really raw. I heard a rumor the Giants really like him too. He is sick, but he needs a lot of work before he’s Major League ready and I just don’t think we have the ability to develop a player like him. The Twins may also go with a college arm here.

15. Los Angeles Dodgers: Zach Collier, OF HS
The Dodgers would love to have Hicks fall to them but I think they’ll settle for Collier. More power and polish than Hicks, but not as athletic. Very good though. With the Dodgers ability to develop talent I expect him to be a future major-leaguer.

16. Milwaukee Brewers: Joshua Fields, RHP Georgia
The best closer in the draft and he is definitely ready for the major leagues. Not too much to say about him just that he’s been solid so far in his senior season. 47 strikeouts in only 25 innings, with 15 saves. Another safe, but necessary pick.

17. Toronto Blue Jays: Ethan Martin, RHP/3B HS
Until last year, the Blue Jays seemed focus on safe, college-productive players. But now their farm system is about as bad as it gets, and they really need high-potential players. Martin fits that bill. He hit .528 with 12 Homeruns in his senior season. Very good numbers. High-risk, high-reward and you have to wonder if the Blue Jays could develop him. Therefore, they may go with Conor Gillaspie, third baseman for Wichita St. It is also worth noting some people have Martin as more of pitching prospect than hitting. He has 112 strikeouts in 60 innings pitched. Jesus.

18. New York Mets: Christian Friedrich, LHP Eastern Kentucky
The Mets will be very happy if Friedrich falls this far. He’s the best college arm after Crow, Matusz and Hunt. But, I feel like the only team before the Mets that would want him would be the Cardinals. Another big guy with high strikeout totals.

19. Chicago Cubs: Casey Kelly, RHP/SS HS
I like this guy a lot. Another great athlete. Like Martin, though, some people have him as more of a pitching prospect than hitting. He’s hitting .473 with 5 homeruns but is also 8-1 with a 1.16 ERA in a tough HS league. Apparently he would rather be a SS. A big project, but one the Cubs would be willing to undertake.

20. Seattle Mariners: Gerrit Cole, RHP HS
Some people have them taking Melville, but he has fallen off to me in recent weeks. His 3.00 ERA in high school is terrible for a major league prospect especially compared to Cole’s .60 ERA. 94 Strikeouts in 58 innings is nice too. Only problem is Boras and a “high-stressful” delivery.

21. Detroit Tigers: Jemile Weeks, 2B Miami
The Tigers would love for Hosmer to fall all the way to them at 21 because of money demands. They are always eager to sign big-money players out of slot. But I just don’t see that happening as too many people like Hosmer. They might go with a HS pitcher like Cole or Melville, but they already have Porcello working his way up their system. This may be a bit early for Rickie’s younger brother to go but I really like him. He’s about the same as his brother, just with less power projections. A good, safe pick though to me.

22. New York Mets: Anthony Hewitt, SS HS
Some people think he’s a better athlete than Beckham. A real project but with a lot of potential. He goes to Salisbury HS in Connecticut (where Andrew Dunlevy went), which means he’s retarded. Good numbers though. .538BA and 8HRs.

23. San Diego Padres: Ike Davis, 1B/OF Arizona State
Another good ASU player. Plays first base now but he could probably easily make the move to outfield. Pretty good speed, average power, and good contact hitter. Safe pick for the padres.

24. Philadelphia Phillies: Destin Hood, OF HS
I think they would love Hewitt to fall but I think they’ll have to settle for Hood. Another great athlete but another project. High-risk and high-reward. Another HungryforTacos classic.

25. Colorado Rockies: Andrew Cashner, RHP Texas Christian
The next best college closer. Some people expect him to go earlier. The Rockies are still having problems solving their closer situation as Corpas wasn’t successful. A fast rising closer makes sense to them.

26. Arizona Diamondbacks: Connor Gillaspie, 3B Wichita State
The Diamondbacks love Cole but he may not be here. So they may go with another college star because they have a good track record with them. Reese Havens may be in play here, too.

27. Minnesota Twins: Brett Lawrie, OF/IF HS
Doesn’t have a position, but this Canadian apparently has a real, high-ceiling bat. He’s from Canada so I just feel like he makes sense for the Twins.

28. New York Yankees: Brett Devall, LHP HS
I’ve heard they really want a LHP so Devall would make sense. His numbers are outstanding. 140 strikeouts and a .41 ERA. Impressive. Don’t know much about him, though.

29. Cleveland Indians: Ryan Perry, RHP Arizona
Apparently he’s a fast track reliever and that’s what the Indians do need. But his numbers (3.35 ERA and 60 strikeouts in 60 innings) don’t impress me. Still, he’s the highest rated left.

30. Boston Red Sox: Reese Havens, SS South Carolina
Apparently, three years ago Boston wanted Reese, but took Ellsbury over him because of worries he wouldn’t sign. Now he’s back and I think they’ll take him again. Numbers are good too. .365 and 14 home runs.

Alright, I know I got a little thin on the descriptions after the first few but I’m tired and I don’t know a ton about players after the first 15 or so. As you can see, the class feels a little thin on pitchers but heavy on first basemen. Not too many outfielders out there, though. I’d be happy if the Giants get (in order): Alvarez, Smoak, Posey, Tim Beckham, Gordon Beckham. Any one of those players would be sick, though. I’m excited. The drafts on the 5th. Hope you guys liked reading.

Back From the Dead?

What the hell happened to Andre Nickatina? The man formerly known as "Yo' Frisco Potna Dre Dog" seems to have fallen completely off the map since his last album. This is perhaps because, in my humble opinion, his newest releases were becoming exponentially worse than the original Nickatina tracks we all used to (and still do) nod our heads to.

I remember discussing this with Widukind a long time ago, and he hypothesized that the deterioration in the quality of Nicky-T's music and lyrics (since when is it okay to come out with songs titled "Box of Lucky Charms", "Cottoncandyland", and "Rap Candy Bars?") had everything to do with his cocaine use. This conversation occurred sometime before March of '07 because I distinctly remember agreeing with him mainly due to the name of what back then was going to be Nickatina's next release: Cokewhite.

Since that conversation, apparently Nickatina scrapped "Cokewhite" and began a new project entitled "A Tale of 2 Andres", the other Andre being Mac Dre. This only came to my attention last week, when a friend and fellow Dre Dog enthusiast alerted me that Nickatina was doing a show in Santa Cruz and his new album was dropping that very night. After a bit of research, I found that the esteemed Mr. Pilly Wonk of Nation of Thizzlam made a warning post in 2006 about a mixtape that went by the same name, saying it claimed to have unreleased tracks but in reality was just the same old shit.

After much internal deliberation, I've decided that I think this CD is actually a collection of a bunch of new stuff, even despite how much Nickatina has fucked around the past few years. I went on http://www.andrenickatina.com , which actually wasn't very helpful, but it directed me to Nickatina's MySpace.

The fella has a pair of tracks on his MySpace that I haven't heard before, and I thought they were both pretty sick. My question: are these two tracks a glimpse of Nickatina's return to prominence? Or are they two anomalies in the ever expanding ocean of shittiness that my former hero Dre Dog has sunken into, much like the Titanic? I'm going to do my utmost to find out if that CD is legit and give my Frisco Potna Dre Dog a second chance.

In the meantime, tell me what y'all think about the two tracks in his MySpace.

http://www.myspace.com/certifiedandrenickatina

This is true lineage...

Welcome to Middlebury, The School with Magical Powers

God damn bullshit, piece of dogdick, fuck me in the A, I’d rather smell Juanfishes’s bellybutton compared to watching godamn Quidditch at Middlebury again. Now the WHOLE nation has to know we play Harry Potter magical flying broomstick games!! When I wake up on Sunday mornings, why can’t I wake up to the sounds of birds, or crickets, or a river…NO, NOT HERE, I wake up to Harry Potter creatures and a golden snitch cross country runner running through the halls of my dorm squaking like a dying baby. I love Middlebury and all, but OH MY GOD….this can’t actually be college where kids run around with broomsticks between their legs. Can it? Whatever…Im gonna go to bed. By the way, if you like really elaborate and descriptive dreams that you can remember, take a couple of Tylenol PMs and have some fun…
The Middlebury Quidditch is undefeated though.


Love
Injury Prone

Oh. My. God.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=alipour/080512&sportCat=nfl&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab6pos1

I didn't even read the article, I just watched the videos. For some reason when I heard about this show, I thought it was going to be a reality show, which in my opinion was about to be legit. Instead...Oh. My. God.
Oh. My. God.

Uhhh. Yeah.

Go Giants!

La the Darkman

At the Ghostface concert at Emory a month or so ago, a guy went through the crowd passing out his mixtape, “The Notorious LAD”. I thought that was funny. Little did I know it was La the Darkman, the apparent 12th member of Wu-Tang (Wikipedia makes it sound like he gave himself that title. Whatever). Produced by DJ Drama and Gangsta Grillz, the mixtape was pretty solid, but predictably very un-Wu-like. I investigated further and got his only studio-produced album, Heist of the Century, which came out in 1998, and La didn’t disappoint. With tracks produced by guys like 4th Disciple, Carlos “Six July” Broady, RZA and Havoc, Heist of the Century exhibits the prototypical sinister sound of the New York City rap scene in the 90s. Here are some tracks. Enjoy.

They Keep Talking (off the Gangsta Grillz Mixtape)

Dumping the Ruger (Mixtape)

Gun Rule (off of Heist of the Century)

Az the World Turnz (Heist of the Century, featuring Ghostface Killah)

La’s apparently got a new album coming out this year, so keep an eye out.

Widukinds Diary Entry #17

Image Credit: www.whylostsucks.com

Topic 1) I am so, so, so, so, sick of NFL analysts knocking the Raiders’ Darren McFadden pick. I want to poop on them. Not just any poop; a nice, steamy, poopydoopy one. It absolutely boggles me how hypocritical these people can be. They all humped Adrian Peterson’s purple butt last year as he established himself as one of the best running backs in the league, even though the Vikings passed on “position of needs” (QB, DE) and already had Chester Taylor in backfield. Now they’re all saying the Raiders blew it because they have Justin “Jesus” Fargas and need someone to stop the run. I understand the Vikings’ offensive line is a lot better than the Raiders’, but give me a break. Make up your damn minds.
Topic 2) I invented something amazing the other day; heated closets. You know that feeling when you put on clothes fresh out the dryer? It would be like that, but everyday ALL THE TIME!!!! You could even synchronize the heater to go off at night and then turn on like 10 minutes before you wake up in the morning to save $$$ and polar bears. Seriously, try to tell me this is a bad idea.
Topic 3) I invented something really amazing the day before the other day; TiVo that mutes on commercial. Anytime a baseball game goes to commercial break on MLB.tv, it just goes quiet and shows a blank screen. It’s awesome because you can actually do something else for a while and then go back to the game, instead of just sitting there watching the commercials because you have to (you do).
Topic 4) A kid on my hall invented something amazing the day before the other day, too; a TV guide screen that has a red dot next to a program if it’s on commercial. This would be great for shows like Jerry Springer, because the commercials are fucking unbearable but the show is so, so good. I don’t want to watch some bearded guy screaming about some really powerful soap, I want to watch this.
Topic 5) If Andy “gg no re” McKenzie reads this, it will probably piss him off…but Lost sucks. I don’t watch it so I have no idea what’s really going on, but still. It sucks. I watched like, 30 minutes of a show from the 3rd season last night, and all of the following went on during that time span. In the past, some dorky kid moves to the island with his alcoholic father played by Uncle Rico, who tells him that it’s his fault his mother died because he was a premature baby. 30 or so years later, still on the island, when it appears they are going to reconcile, the son straps on a gas mask in the middle of a van and opens some canister of shit and kills his dad. When he gets back to the village-thing, all of the other people are dead, and a bunch of dudes come out of the forest and he goes with them. While this story is going on, they jump back and forth to the present where somehow the sociopathic dude is actually the head of some beach colony. The creepy guy takes some other guy whose name is fucking John Locke in to the jungle to meet someone named “Jacob”, who conveniently turns out to be invisible. They get to a house and the weird guy talks to a chair for like 5 minutes, John Locke turns on a flashlight, and Jacob gets really pissed and starts throwing things and sets the ground on fire (which I guess Jacob puts out after they leave). Then, the sociopath takes John Locke to a mass grave of all the people who were killed hella days ago, shoots him in the stomach and leaves him in the ditch. It was so unbearably fucking stupid I can’t believe people watch it. I felt like someone had taken a fat, steamy, poopydoopy dump right in my brain. My god. The kids I was watching it with said that the 3rd season started to get kind of stupid. A show that can’t last more than two years without becoming “kind of stupid” is not a good show. If you’re reading this Andy I would appreciate some insight.

Out like Lost from my future DVD collection.

An Apology

I believe I owe the founders of dress Archie blog an apology. I admit that I was wrong in the beginning when I thought the blog was stupid, immature, and ridiculous. I actually read the posts on a consistent basis and I am usually humored and interested by the posts. This is why I asked Juanfish and the rest of the contributors to accept me back as one of their own. I hereby solemnly swear to never post random videos and pictures without descriptions or without any context…I have grown up (a little). So thank you for accepting Injury Prone back into the Dress Archie Gang….I missed you.
Anyways, a couple of weeks ago I went on a magical mushroom adventure (nothing like Amsterdam though). While experiencing nature, while building fires, and while talking to the Leprechaun on my Lucky Charms cereal box, I saw a couple of little boys playing an army game. One of the boys was the commander and the other was a regular soldier. While watching them using their imagination to play out the roles in this army game, I realized something…early childhood is pretty much a shroom trip within itself. You get to do whatever the fuck you want and nobody can yell or blame you for being immature and dumb. How much do you miss the days where you could pretend to be under attack by the Germans, or the days you would just get naked and put paint all over yourself? In the following video, a 7 year old kid steals his grandmas car just because he is mad at his mom. He has no inhibitions, doesn’t care what anybody thinks, and he just “wants to do hoodrat things with his friends.”


Love,
Injury Prone

Last Day of Classes Gift...

Happy Summer!


B.G.- Xtc and Hennessy


Let's go crazy...

Widukinds Diary Entry #16

A franchise-savior at age 19.

I’m no basketball fan. I never really liked playing when I was younger, I hardly watch college unless it’s the tourney, and I even failed to get my free ticket for the Warriors bandwagon that left last April. But last night, after getting in to the appropriate mindset, I began to appreciate Utah Jazz basketball. This team is a machine. Every player on their team loves the game, cares about the game, and wants to win. They each play specific roles, and do them equally well. Regular people don’t know who Carlos Boozer or Deron Williams are. They just don’t. What makes this so much more impressive is when you broaden your thinking and begin to consider every guy in the NBA; each player has devoted his entire life to the sport, and they have pretty much nothing else going for them. This kind of thinking lends an understanding to the egotistical personality many professional athletes have, as they are thrown in to the most intense competition on the planet starting at age 8. The fact that the Jazz have been able to compile a group of guys who all play so incredibly well together is unbelievable.
This leads me to my second point; the Houston Rockets are not that team. I understand, they won 829,283 games in a row this year, they don’t have Yao, and Rafer Alston has been hurt. Even last night the Rockets almost mounted a surreal comeback in Utah, with Shane Battier and Alston hitting ludicrous threes followed by an emphatic tip-in dunk by Carl Landry to get the game within two. I was watching the game with two Jazz fans, and despite the Rockets surge they remained convinced the game was in hand. After Deron Williams missed his first free throw, I prophetically declared “Watch him miss again, but the Rockets don’t get the rebound.” Williams bricked, and Tracy McGrady got beat out by Mehmet Okur, followed by a dumb foul by Battier in a scramble for the ball. The Rockets lost.
Jazz>Rockets.
Watching the game (in the right mindset, of course), produced a cornucopia of good conversation. Every time I watch the NBA like this I constantly get blown away thinking about the lives of these kids, what freakishly good athletes they are, and how much weed they probably smoke during the season. Last night we began discussing the potential reemergence of the NBA as a true major sport in the US due to the constant influx of young stars today. The 2003 draft class was absolutely insane, with Lebron, Melo, Bosh, and Wade in the top 5 (Darko Milicic, we hardly knew ye). Kobe and AI were “wily” veterans by the time they were 25!
Now, look at that ’03 class. Lebron is disgusting, and singlehandedly wills his team through the season, and Bosh is sick but hasn’t won anything.
But Melo? If the Nuggets fall to the Lakers, he will have lost 5 playoff series in a row. He’s 24 years old, and he could already be the next TMac.
Dwyane Wade? Remember him? The country’s (and hungyfortacos) second-son as recent as 2006 has virtually fallen off the map after unabashedly throwing his body around for 3 years. Seriously, watch this video. He takes 3 jumpers in 4 ½ minutes, but ends up on the ground 8 times. It’s my theory that for three years Wade’s body hit the perfect synthesis, where he could play sick, injured, or dying of the Hanta Virus and still dribble to the lane through his legs and throw up H-O-R-S-E-worthy shots and consequently smash in to the court. Now, he’s a potential has-been at 26.
The 2003 draft class is now being complemented by the rising stars of Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Kevin Durant and Dwight Howard among others. In a few years, everyone in this Diary entry will still most likely be in the NBA; but imagine how many new phenoms will have entered the league by then.

This entry has been a bit rambly, and I didn’t even include half of the notes I took last night, so another entry will most likely be coming up quite soon. If you’re going to take anything away, it should be this: watch the NBA high. Trust me.

Out like Desean Jackson from my dreams. :(

PS. Last enstallment of Wonder Mike Radio this semester, tonight 12-2 AM at http://www.wmre.fm/. Should be a fun one.

Hot Dollar: "I Luv Tha Streetz"

After I did my roots video post (below). I came across a video on the same website by this rapper named Hot Dollar. This song samples the beach boys (which is fucking sick) and this video is raw. wow. compton + mississippi is back...

Hot Dollar - I Luv Tha Streetz

The Roots go to the Go-Go

The Roots - Rising Up (Feat. Wale & Chrisette Michele)



Blackthought kills the first verse and Wale brings up the second with some hot fire. The Roots sound like their old selves (with a dash of Go-Go), and I am a happy boy. ?love 4 life.

p.s. Spring Music blockbuster coming soon. Stay tuned...