50 vs Kanye: The Battle for Gheyest Person Alive...and Maybe Even Dead

This feud has recently been brought to my attention. I love it.

In the poo corner, Curtis James Jackson, who at one point was dear to my heart because I actually thought "Get Rich or Die Trying" was a good movie. In the pee corner, Kanye West, who I've always pretty much considered a fannybandit, if not just really uber metro.

In terms of music, I've never liked either. Yeah yeah, I repped 50 at Bar-Mitzvahs when we were all super horny and learning how to freak dance in front of our parents, and Kanye...well he's always been pretty damn annoying. 50 pisses me off because he can't rap for shit, all his shit sounds the same, and he tries to start shit with Dipset. Kanye is annoying because all his shit is just super preachy and barfy.

That's why the fact that the beef between these two has escalated is hilarious. The bitch fight has been oozing like Pāhoehoe for a while, originating with the beef between 50's camp and Jay-Z's. It even got political in 2005, when 50 defended (kind of) G Dubya after Kanye's infamous "George Bush doesn't care about black people" thing (big ups to Mike Meyers for looking like he just farted and is hoping no one noticed). Also in 2005, Curtis claimed Kanye was only successful because the Hip-Hop community was looking for a Yin to 50's Yang persona. I even got that analogy right. Chyea!

Here's the current situation: the release date for Curtis' new album, Curtis, got pushed back to September 11 recently, while Kanye's new album, Graduation, got bumped up to the same date. This is the first ridiculous part. I have so much disagreement with making September 11 a day to make money that I'm going to throw up if I think about it anymore...oops. Apparently, Bodog has even been taking bets on who will outperform who, shockingly with 50 as the clear favorite.

Now the best part; Curtis has vowed that if Graduation outsells Curtis, he will stop making solo albums. Hoo-ray!

What a fucking quagmire. Clearly the best solution would be for both of them to just duke it out in the Octagon, and then die, or maybe just decide to shut up for...a billion years, and go move some place sunny. I guess I'm cheering for Kanye because of the whole 50 quitting thing, but that makes me want to puke. Again.

For your entertainment, here are the two singles both fucktards, ahem, artists, have released from their respective albums:

50 Cent- Ayo Technology (This song is pretty bad.)

Kanye West- Stronger (You probably have this song already. It's also #2 on iTunes. I think I'm going to go create an account on Bodog.)

Out like Jeremy Giambi.

What's Beef?

The other day, Widukind posted about the Cam'ron vs. 50 Cent feud and it got me thinking. I got a lot of beef music on my computer, and sometimes there's nothing better to hear than a diss track, so here's a collection of some tracks that you might like.
120 Bars- The Game dissing 50 Cent and G-Unit. #1 of his three diss tracks.
240 Bars- The Game dissing 50 Cent and G-Unit again. In particular Spider Loc. Great line: "You're the reason homies press mute when they play Madden"
Hit Em' Up- 2Pac dissing Biggie, Junior Mafia and Mobb Deep. The most famous diss track of all time. Pac just absolutely destroys them.
300 Bars and Runnin'- The Game dissing 50 Cent and G-Unit for around 12 minutes over different beats. The first of the three and the best.
Piggy Bank- 50 Cent dissing anyone and everyone that comes to mind. A pretty weak ass diss song in my book. No real direction or any lines that really kill.
Takeover- Jay-Z dissing Nas and Mobb Deep. One of the best Jigga songs of all time and the big shot for Jay-Z in his beef with Mobb Deep.
Back Down- 50 Cent dissing Ja Rule and Murder Inc. This comes off 50's first album and I have always loved this track.
Round Here- Jim Jones dissing Memphis Bleek. Memphis Bleek sucks. He gets nutted on in a lot of these songs.
Ether- Nas dissing Jay-Z. His response to Takeover. A great track, considered by some the best diss track of all.
Get Em' Daddy- Cam'ron dissing Jay-Z. I like this song because the insults are pretty fucking dumb but work pretty well.
Fuck Wit' Dre Day- Dr. Dre dissing Eazy-E. This is when NWA turns on Eazy-E. Not really that much a diss track except for the shit talking at the end.
Who Shot Ya?- Notorious B.I.G. dissing 2Pac? The song that started the beef apparently, but nothing was actually said. Shame that both were killed over some bullshit.
For the Record- Shyne dissing 50 Cent. For those who don't know, Shyne is the guy who went to jail for P. Diddy back when the nightclub shooting shit went down. He's in jail for a while, but he recorded this song over the phone. Do not sleep on Shyne, he's a fucking beast.
Hail Mary 2003- 50 Cent, Eminem, and Busta Rhymes dissing Ja Rule and Murder Inc. It was pretty much over after this song. Enough said.
I Smell Pussy- 50 Cent dissing Ja Rule and Murder Inc. The title says it all. 50 Cent was actually kinda tight for a while. But now G-Unot.
We Fly High (Beef Mix)- Jim Jones dissing Jay-Z and vice versa. Not much of a track. But I felt like putting it on anyways.

Enjoy everyone, this should be enough tracks to keep some of you happy for a little while. Also an added beef bonus video- Eazy E's response to Dr. Dre. I tried to find this song everywhere, but it's impossible to find.

I'm Out.

Curtis!!!

OK, so some of you may have heard about the Cam'ron/50 cent beef that started a couple weeks ago. Basically, 50 was on the Angie Martinez show on Hot 97 in NYC. The owner or something of independent Koch records calls in, and 50 asks him to put Cam'ron on the phone. Cam comes on and starts yelling at 50 because I think 50 had said previously he could determine the direction of The Diplomats careers or something, and for dissing Koch records, because apparently 50 had let one of his own artists sign with them. Then it basically turns into an argument over whether 50 and G-Unit or Cam and The Diplomats are making more money. Listen to the entire exchange here.

Since then, Jim Jones and Juelz Santana have made it clear that The Diplomats want no beef with G-Unit, and vice versa. (If I got any of that wrong, which is highly likely, please correct me.)
Cam'ron:Jim Jones and Juelz as Dennis Rodman: Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. OK that might not be that accurate, but it seems relevant in this case.


So 50 came out with a diss track/video on Cam. Notice the hearse at the front with "Cam'ron's Career" written on the side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Njej3NKTKU

The song's called "Funeral Music". The video is pretty rediculous, but the song isn't that tight. The chorus is alright, but 50 doesn't really deliver any memorable lines, except for at the end when he's mocking Cam's lyrical prowess ("Computers computin', boogity bootin'"). That's kinda funny.

Of course, Cam retaliates with his own diss track and accompanying video.


Typical Cam here (download the song). The whole "Curtis!" riff is fucking funny, and his description of 50 is on point ("Bugs Monkey"). The video is straight weird, and I have absolutely no idea what the guy is saying in the entire middle part.

Verdict: The court awards prosecutor (or is he the defendant here? Thoughts?), Cameron Giles a.k.a. Cam'ron a.k.a. Killa Cam rights to all distributing rights and ownership of the Guerilla Unit label. Even though I have to admit Cam sounds like a straight ass on the radio show, 50's song is worse, and 50 in general is pretty fucking ghey.

Diplomats>G-Unot. All day.

To prove it to you, here are three Juelz songs I been listening to recently:

We Will Rock You

Oh Yes (Harrison...tits might like this one. Same with abriendo_bitches, aka rgay).

Red Bandana (This is for hungryfortacos, but everyone should download. Teh siccn3ss).

Church.