Widukind Diary Entry #22
And now for something completely different...Topic 1) I just came across this. This guy needs to fucking die. I'm cereal. Last month this guy drove around town blaring from loudspeakers "Get the fuck out of here there's a fucking fat earthquake coming!" or however you say that in Italian, which I wouldn't know because my Italian syllabus is more retarded than Skip Bayless. The article says that "Giuliani gave an interview as recently as March 24 in which he repeated his claims," but that they just called him "an imbecile". March 24th was two fucking weeks ago, dude. I realize that what happened in Italy is tragic and that, okay, maybe you kinda knew something was up, but to go out and demand an official apology FOR YOURFUCKINGSELF when 150+ people are dead, 1,500+ are injured, and 30,000+ are left homeless is the most imbecilic thing possible in this situation. If this fucking douchebag-majoris cared so much about what was going on he'd be out in the rubble helping the DYING PEOPLE rather than sitting around like a fucking pansy whining about the warnings he gave a month ago. And don't tell me to get off my high horse and do something about it, because I'm hella far away and my cardio isn't so good right now so I'm not sure how much rubble I could move anyways.
Topic 2) Beer companies need to cut the bullshit. Stop trying to convince me that your beer is something other than a watered-down American piece of shit. I don't give a shit that you add barley three different times in the brewing process, Miller Lite douchebag. It's still Miller fucking Light. These companies don't even know what they're doing half the time. Bud Light's "Drinkability" campaign is so ridiculously ambiguous it makes me want to take a dump on Skip Bayless' face (twice, actually, because I already want to take a dump on Skip Bayless' face). Their newest commercial has a dude explaining "Drinkability" and then drawing a wave with those white lines on the screen like in a football game, and then the wave comes and splashes everyone! LOLZ! Who thought of that sweet joke...RJ? This commercial has nothing to do with beer, which isn't the real issue. The real issue is that it's not funny and has no large breasts, so what is it doing on my television?
Topic 3) This is kinda old, but people who complain like the above Italian dude every time Facebook changes need to shut up or get implanted rectally with a large stick. I'm sorry that it will be momentarily harder for your friends to find the pictures you put up of yourself pregaming in your dorm room. You=small, internet=big. If you can't deal with someone changing your Facebook, what are you going to do when your landlord shuts off your heating because you're obviously such a complete moron and you don't know how to pay bills? N00b.
Out like Plaxico, in like (unofficial) Tim Lincecum Day.
1 comment:
That dude is definitely a bitch, but what a great Italian name. Gioacchino Giuliani! I wish that was my name. Gotta give him some credit for that. IM Soccer is coming up, so I might take that as my soccer name. Or perhaps I will stick with Ridiculo.
Word on the "drinkability" thing. What the fuck does that even mean? In my eyes, "drinkable" just means you can physically drink it. It's even more basic than "potable". I would go so far as to argue that gasoline is "drinkable". So fuck Budweiser. Red Stripe commercials are the best.
Dude. Fuck the new Facebook. Two things piss me off about it: 1) it's not simply different, it's worse, and 2) they're just trying to imitate Twitter. Twitter has to be the most retarded thing I've ever heard of. The only reason I would ever go to Twitter (or ever have) is to see what Shaq has to say, and even then you don't really know which is the real Shaq.
Way to keep the blog alive, holmes. Ol' HomelessNigg will try to pitch in more with some Memoirs of a Homeless Black Man soon.
P.S. Fantasy baseball is so gay. I'm losing to fucking Harrison right now. That just should never happen.
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