HomelessNigg Presents: Men of Many Talents

A long time ago, I was shown a music video that was made by one of the many dominant 49ers teams of the 1980's. Upon watching the video, I was dumbstruck. How could such physically talented gentlemen also possess the unrivaled mental aptitude to compose a rap with lyrics so poetic that they would bring Genghis Khan himself to tears? Actually, that's complete horseshit. The rap is hilarious and a joy to watch, but not because of any verbal artistry. It is rather so enjoyable because of the lyrical ineptitude of the players. Have a look-see to refresh your memory:

Remarkable! The best parts are definitely Roger Craig's 'We out to have big fun!', which sounds exactly like Family Guy's Bill Cosby impression, and Ronnie Lott's 'Oops! Interception.' Anyway, I was debating with a few fellows in the illustrious Kappa Alpha Order earlier today about which football franchise is the greatest of all time, and sent them that video to bolster my claim that the 49ers are indeed the best.

Due to the magnificence of that video, I expected no stern rebuttals from any of my adversaries in this debate. However, I soon received one which left me absolutely stunned.

There is no question that the 49ers are a superior franchise to the L.A./St. Louis Rams in all ways football. But in terms of 80's style music videos? Alas, my friends. I'm afraid they have us beat. Fortunately, we still blow other teams' songs out of the water.

A weak effort, to be sure, with the sole exception of Howie Long. But all this musical buffoonery from way back in the day begs the question: can the current day 49ers lace the track with dope rhymes as well as the old guys did? If the vocal delivery of Frank Gore is any indication, the answer is no.