Widukinds Diary Entry #17
Topic 1) I am so, so, so, so, sick of NFL analysts knocking the Raiders’ Darren McFadden pick. I want to poop on them. Not just any poop; a nice, steamy, poopydoopy one. It absolutely boggles me how hypocritical these people can be. They all humped Adrian Peterson’s purple butt last year as he established himself as one of the best running backs in the league, even though the Vikings passed on “position of needs” (QB, DE) and already had Chester Taylor in backfield. Now they’re all saying the Raiders blew it because they have Justin “Jesus” Fargas and need someone to stop the run. I understand the Vikings’ offensive line is a lot better than the Raiders’, but give me a break. Make up your damn minds.
Topic 2) I invented something amazing the other day; heated closets. You know that feeling when you put on clothes fresh out the dryer? It would be like that, but everyday ALL THE TIME!!!! You could even synchronize the heater to go off at night and then turn on like 10 minutes before you wake up in the morning to save $$$ and polar bears. Seriously, try to tell me this is a bad idea.
Topic 3) I invented something really amazing the day before the other day; TiVo that mutes on commercial. Anytime a baseball game goes to commercial break on MLB.tv, it just goes quiet and shows a blank screen. It’s awesome because you can actually do something else for a while and then go back to the game, instead of just sitting there watching the commercials because you have to (you do).
Topic 4) A kid on my hall invented something amazing the day before the other day, too; a TV guide screen that has a red dot next to a program if it’s on commercial. This would be great for shows like Jerry Springer, because the commercials are fucking unbearable but the show is so, so good. I don’t want to watch some bearded guy screaming about some really powerful soap, I want to watch this.
Topic 5) If Andy “gg no re” McKenzie reads this, it will probably piss him off…but Lost sucks. I don’t watch it so I have no idea what’s really going on, but still. It sucks. I watched like, 30 minutes of a show from the 3rd season last night, and all of the following went on during that time span. In the past, some dorky kid moves to the island with his alcoholic father played by Uncle Rico, who tells him that it’s his fault his mother died because he was a premature baby. 30 or so years later, still on the island, when it appears they are going to reconcile, the son straps on a gas mask in the middle of a van and opens some canister of shit and kills his dad. When he gets back to the village-thing, all of the other people are dead, and a bunch of dudes come out of the forest and he goes with them. While this story is going on, they jump back and forth to the present where somehow the sociopathic dude is actually the head of some beach colony. The creepy guy takes some other guy whose name is fucking John Locke in to the jungle to meet someone named “Jacob”, who conveniently turns out to be invisible. They get to a house and the weird guy talks to a chair for like 5 minutes, John Locke turns on a flashlight, and Jacob gets really pissed and starts throwing things and sets the ground on fire (which I guess Jacob puts out after they leave). Then, the sociopath takes John Locke to a mass grave of all the people who were killed hella days ago, shoots him in the stomach and leaves him in the ditch. It was so unbearably fucking stupid I can’t believe people watch it. I felt like someone had taken a fat, steamy, poopydoopy dump right in my brain. My god. The kids I was watching it with said that the 3rd season started to get kind of stupid. A show that can’t last more than two years without becoming “kind of stupid” is not a good show. If you’re reading this Andy I would appreciate some insight.
Out like Lost from my future DVD collection.
Topic 2) I invented something amazing the other day; heated closets. You know that feeling when you put on clothes fresh out the dryer? It would be like that, but everyday ALL THE TIME!!!! You could even synchronize the heater to go off at night and then turn on like 10 minutes before you wake up in the morning to save $$$ and polar bears. Seriously, try to tell me this is a bad idea.
Topic 3) I invented something really amazing the day before the other day; TiVo that mutes on commercial. Anytime a baseball game goes to commercial break on MLB.tv, it just goes quiet and shows a blank screen. It’s awesome because you can actually do something else for a while and then go back to the game, instead of just sitting there watching the commercials because you have to (you do).
Topic 4) A kid on my hall invented something amazing the day before the other day, too; a TV guide screen that has a red dot next to a program if it’s on commercial. This would be great for shows like Jerry Springer, because the commercials are fucking unbearable but the show is so, so good. I don’t want to watch some bearded guy screaming about some really powerful soap, I want to watch this.
Topic 5) If Andy “gg no re” McKenzie reads this, it will probably piss him off…but Lost sucks. I don’t watch it so I have no idea what’s really going on, but still. It sucks. I watched like, 30 minutes of a show from the 3rd season last night, and all of the following went on during that time span. In the past, some dorky kid moves to the island with his alcoholic father played by Uncle Rico, who tells him that it’s his fault his mother died because he was a premature baby. 30 or so years later, still on the island, when it appears they are going to reconcile, the son straps on a gas mask in the middle of a van and opens some canister of shit and kills his dad. When he gets back to the village-thing, all of the other people are dead, and a bunch of dudes come out of the forest and he goes with them. While this story is going on, they jump back and forth to the present where somehow the sociopathic dude is actually the head of some beach colony. The creepy guy takes some other guy whose name is fucking John Locke in to the jungle to meet someone named “Jacob”, who conveniently turns out to be invisible. They get to a house and the weird guy talks to a chair for like 5 minutes, John Locke turns on a flashlight, and Jacob gets really pissed and starts throwing things and sets the ground on fire (which I guess Jacob puts out after they leave). Then, the sociopath takes John Locke to a mass grave of all the people who were killed hella days ago, shoots him in the stomach and leaves him in the ditch. It was so unbearably fucking stupid I can’t believe people watch it. I felt like someone had taken a fat, steamy, poopydoopy dump right in my brain. My god. The kids I was watching it with said that the 3rd season started to get kind of stupid. A show that can’t last more than two years without becoming “kind of stupid” is not a good show. If you’re reading this Andy I would appreciate some insight.
Out like Lost from my future DVD collection.
3 comments:
That episode you were talking about was the second to last of the third season if I remember correctly, and people's complaints about the third season were largely unfounded and mostly resolved by the end of it. There are three points about Lost that you're missing:
1) It is one of (if not the only) TV show out there with a long-arching plot line that keeps iterating. Even Heroes and 24 are single-season based, although they're better than CSIs instant one hour gratification. The show is designed for impatient people like you to not appreciate it, so that they are weeded out from conversations and (hopefully one day) society. There's nothing else like it.
2) Starting Lost in the middle of the third season is like reading pages 300-400 of The Goblet of Fire and saying that Harry Potter sucks. You don't have the right to an opinion.
3) It's science fiction. I don't understand why people can't get their heads wrapped around this. You don't see anybody watching Heroes or Dragonball Z and complaining that it is unrealistic how people are shooting fire out of their hands. That's the whole point. The fact that it is more similar to real life than most science fiction doesn't make the show less compelling, this fact makes it more compelling. It takes more creativity to tweak a few facts about the real world and see how it plays out than to create a whole new world and justify everything by claiming artistic license. It reminds me of a Stephen King novel in a lot of ways, which is probably by he is purported to be a fan of the series.
Out like your chance of mounting a counter-argument.
1) You think you're better than me because you watch Lost. I think I'm better than you because I watch The Wire. The elitist coup de grâce: HBO>TV.
2) I admitted that I had no idea of what was going on to warn that what I was about to write should be taken with a (large) grain of salt. I don't really have a rebuttal to this, because I completely agree with you. However, if you gave me 100 pages to read out of Harry Potter, I may be confused, but I'm positive I would still be able to acknowledge it as good.
3) Being science fiction doesn't justify something being stupid. The artistic license point is funny given the fact that the writers of Lost have created things like a highly irritable invisible man and a giant smoke monster. Just saying.
I know Lost really isn't that bad. If you give me the DVDs over the summer, I promise to watch and have long debates with you at Beer Gardens.
lost is a very bad show...nothing good is associated with it
Post a Comment