Playoffs?...Playoffs?...

Well that bittersweet time of year has arrived, as the regular season has ended for 3/8 of the teams in the league, including the beloved 49ers, leaving us with 12 teams in the NFL playoffs. Now as much as I love the playoffs, and I do love them recently considering the Giants have been in them the past three year, I always feel sad by the time they roll around as I know that my team has at best only really 2 weeks left on their schedule and the season is a month from its end. I literally do not have any ideas of what I will do on Sundays from February on, the best I can come up with is to write a playbook.

Now over the course of the season I was sort of off-and-on with my picks and while I know that hardly anyone else cares, I wanna see how I did. I finished 113-63 in picking winners giving me a .642 winning percentage. Against the spread however, I finished a whopping 78-90-8 or a .443 winning percentage. Comparatively last year I had a .525 and .4625 winning percentage respectively, but I wasn't counting ties.

Now on to the playoffs. I plan on picking winners for the playoffs, but this week I'll throw in the spreads cause I've spent some time pondering them.

Redskins @ Seahawks: I really like the Redskins for some reason (I think it probably has to do with my east-coast football bias, I am now willing to acknowledge it) but I think the Seahawks will squeak this one out. The Redskins have all the right intangibles going for them, but I think Todd Collins has to poop the bed at some point and playing at the artificial-crowd-noise-enhanced Qwest Field, I see him not only pooping the bed but throwing up in it and then waking up in it the next morning and retiring from embarrassment. That being said, it will be close and the Redskins will cover.

Jags @ Steelers: I feel like that everything that I could say about this match-up has been said a thousand times already by every commentator on ESPN and the NFL Network. I like the Jags, but I don't like that they are Vegas favorites and the fact that everyone including the Best Man at my parents' wedding are jocking the Jags. It's very hard to win at Heinz field, and to do it twice would be epic. I want the Jags to win, but I'm sorry to say that I am picking the Steelers, meaning that they will cover as well.

Giants @ Bucs: Now I could talk about this match-up for weeks and I just might have to right here. I like the Giants offense over the TB offense a lot. I like the Bucs defense over the Giants defense only a little. A lot of the people I have seen are picking the Giants which is a bad sign for the Giants (we do better under the radar) but I do love our 7-1 away record and a not-so-difficult match-up. If their QB wasn't Jeff Garcia I would love this game but I have watched at least four of the 5 times he has played the Giants and I believe he won all 4. We need a a solid pass rush, and once we get that, if we prevent the scramble, we will win. I'm going with my team, and that means they cover as well.

Titans @ Chargers: The worst game of these playoffs potentially. It would be much more interesting if the Browns had made it instead of the Titans. I am not sold at all on the Titans, and I think they are a truly mediocre team. The Chargers win, they cover, and they win big.

Divisional Rd.
Steelers @ Pats: I think this game will be much closer this time around, and I actually think the Steelers could really give the Pats a scare. That being said, the Pats are fucking surgical this year, and I think they pull away in the 4th quarter to win this game by a comfortable margin.

Chargers @ Colts: My prediction for this game is that the Chargers take an early lead, and then Norv Turner pulls a BME Pain Olympics with his team and hatchets their collective balls off and the Chargers blow their lead. The Colts are under the radar in the sense that everyone is saying they are under the radar, and I think they will be sharp for this game and after the early scare, cruise past a puzzled Norv Turner.

Seahawks @ Packers: Are the Packers built for the cold weather of their own field? Are the Seahawks? I actually would answer no to both questions. If the Giants make it to Green Bay through a Redskins win, I will actually be feeling very good about that game. That being said, in a cold, blustery, Lambeau tundra game, you gotta go with Brett Favre. So that's what I'll do.

Giants @ Cowboys: The Giants have been beaten down like a little brother by the Cowboys twice this year, and despite the fact that it's near impossible to beat a team three times in one year, I think the Cowboys match-up too well against the Giants. If they are without TO it could be a close and interesting game, but I think the Cowboys strength on both sides of the line win out in this game 9/10 times.

Conference Championships:
Packers @ Cowboys: I would venture that by this time, TO will be close to healthy, and I like the Cowboys in this match-up. I think the Cowboys are the best team to come out of the NFC in some while, and I think that they will make the Super Bowl despite the opponents they face.

Colts @ Pats: This is the match-up everyone is hoping for and waiting for as the new sort of "America's team" goes up against the evil empire of New England and Emperor Belichick with Darth Moss and Darth Brady. Correction Darsh Moss and Brady. I know there might be some dispute of me calling the Colts America's team, but I think they honestly get a lot more support from casual fans and as people's second favorite team because Peyton Manning is in more commercials than the Verizon guy and Jared. Plus he's good. However, if anyone can see the Colts knocking the Pats out of the playoffs two years in a row I think they might want to remember how this team has embraced the revenge, bad-guy element, and I think the Pats will beat the shit out of the Colts in one of those blustery New England days. This one I think could harken back to the snow game they played a few years back where Manning just got eaten alive.

Super Bowl:
Cowboys vs. Pats: Real original match-up Alex. Right? Well I can't see the playoffs playing out anyway. And I can't see the Pats losing. Fuck. Gay.

Out like Martina Hingis on blow.