That's what the talk shows, and ... and the game shows are for. You know, just to tell the people the nonsense that y'all believe in...

This week's quote comes from none other than Randy Moss in his postgame interview after his first game as a Patriot. Apparently the game shows have it out for him too. What a tough life. I opened the season last week with an 8-8 week in terms of picks, which I am somewhat pleased with. If I wasn't retarded I should have done better. Against the spread though I was 7-9, so not bad for a week based primarily on gut feeling and prejudice. This week will be fun, some good matchups, including Tufts-Middlebury tommorow, what most of the experts are calling the game of the week.

Sunday 1:00 PM EST
Bills @ Steelers
The Bills had the Broncos number for about 59:55 minutes last week, but ended up losing on a last second rushed field goal by Jason Elam. However, defensively they currently stand at second-to-last in front of a team who put on an embarrassing defense performance last Sunday night. The Steelers on the other hand rolled to an easy win over the Browns in Cleveland, showing off a fierce defense, and the same sort of passing attack they have always had. Big Ben threw only 23 passes with 12 completions but still had 4 touchdowns. That makes me mad. Look for the Steelers to get to 2-0 this week winning not comfortably but pretty handedly. The Bills just aren't the same team on the road.
Prediction: Steelers, Bills +10 (That spread is just waay to big in my book)

Bengals @ Browns
This is what I mean in terms of spread: the Steelers are 10 point favorites while the Bengals are only 7 point favorites over the team that looked the worst last weekend. The Bengals are coming off a big win over the Ravens and should be able to destroy the Browns defense. Only worry would be a typical "let-down game" but I can't see that happening in Week 2. Let's see if the Browns can get anything going, if not we might get to see Brady Quinn.
Prediction: Bengals, Bengals -7

Colts @ Titans
The greatest show on turf heads down to Nashville to face off against Vince Young, and the 1-0 (called that one) Titans. The Colts dominated a pretty good Saints team, and their defense surprised most by holding the Saints to only 10 points. You have to like the Colts passing attack against the Titans (that really can be said for almost every team though) due to the loss of their most talented defensive back, Pac-Man "Ron Artest 2.0" Jones. However, the most interesting aspect of this matchup could be the Titans rushing attack that rushed for over 200 yards against the Jags, against the Colts rushing D, which normally has more holes in it than Sonny on the Causeway. I don't think it will change too much though.
Prediction: Colts, Colts -7 1/2

Texans @ Panthers
The matchup everyone is talking about this week! David Carr makes his return to Houston to lead the Panthers against his old team! Wait, no. The Panthers surprised me by beating the Rams this week and Jake Delhomme surprised me even more by having a QB rating of 125.7. I thought he'd be in trouble by late September. The Texans are my sleeper team this year, and I like the way that Matt Schaub and the team played last Sunday. The Houston defense was fierce too, giving up only around 215 yards. Here's my first upset of the week, the Texans show up and sneak past the Panthers in a close low scoring game.
Prediction: Texans, Texans +7 (another way too big spread)

Niners @ Rams
Too teams whose games I incorrectly picked last weekend. The Rams were a disappointment in my book, putting up only 238 yards in a loss to the Panthers. Steven Jackson had only 58 yards on 18 carries; so much for my hypothetical decision to pick him 1st in Fantasy. The Niners were nothing special this past week as well, they played very mediocre for the better part of 4 quarters, only to pull off a remarkable last second 4th quarter comeback. A team deserves credit for that, but I am worried about the lack of productivity offensively for the Niners was very disheartening. Alex Smith has to play better over the whole 4 quarters and the Niners should be able to do more against a Rams defense that allowed 387 yards to the Panthers. I like the Niners in this one despite the fact they are playing in St. Louis, which always has been a tough game for them.
Prediction: Niners, Niners +3

Packers @ Giants
The one game if I was a better, I would absolutely not touch. The Giants will be playing without Brandon Jacobs for sure, and most likely (let's be honest here) Osi and Eli. The Giants O looked fierce this past week, as Eli played well- which he has before- but finally looked comfortable, sure of himself and like the elite QB the Giants wanted when they drafted him. Honestly, he was money last week. However, this week the Hefty Lefty will probably start and no one, not a soul, knows what to expect. The Giants D was anemic last week, putting them dead last in total defense, but they play a poor Packers offense this week. The Packers only won last week because the Eagles gifted them that game and despite all the hype given to Brett Favre's performance, I watched most of the game and was far from impressed. He still is nowhere near where he once was. I honestly don't know who to pick, if Eli was there, it woud no question be Giants, but he's a ? mark, and as a result so is this game. I guess i just gotta go with the home team then for safety.
Prediction: Giants?, Giants -1?

Falcons @ Jaguars
Two teams with lots of questions to answer going into Week 1. Will Joey Harrington ever lead a team to a win? Will the Jags ever put it all together? Was David Gerrard the man to keep? Can the Jags, in spite of all their talent, stop the run? I think the Falcons have the potential to be really bad this year, I mean like 2-14 bad, and was happy that they lost last week so I didn't have to hear 1000 Joey Harrington is back stories. The Jags are the better team in this game and I suspect they will win, but they have to get more out of Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew, and so do I cause I have both in respective Fantasy leagues.
Prediction: Jags, Falcons +10 1/2 (these spreads are scaring me a little)

Saints @ Bucs
The Saints got plastered last week by the Colts (somewhat surprisingly) while the Bucs got plastered by the Seahawks last week (not at all surprisingly). The Bucs are another team that would be better off in the CFL or NFL Europe, and I am looking for the Saints to put up huge numbers against them. I was very disheartened by Reggie Bush's performance last week, but what shocked me more was the poor play of the Saints wide receivers, they combined for only 100 yards receiving. This week that has to, and should be more.
Prediction: Saints, Saints -4 (spread waay too little)

4:05 EST
Vikings @ Lions
An epic matchup between 2 of the fiercest 1-0 teams in the league. Nope that's silly, the Vikings beat the Falcons (second worst this year?) while the Lions beat the Raiders (worst this year?). I like the Lions passing attack, but would like it even more with Kitna not there. I am really eager to see what Mr. Adrian Peterson is capable of over the course of the season, and I hope he has a big week this week...I am starting him in fantasy. I like the Lions in this game, and the more I think about it, I think they could have the chance to compete for this division as long as they don't play retarded.
Prediction: Lions, Lions -3 1/2

Cowboys @ Dolphins
The Cowboys put up almost 500 yards against a defense that could have been replaced by 11 senior citizens from an old people home with oxygen tanks and done better than they did. The Dolphins are another mediocre team, and they got beat by a mediocre Redskins team. I watched the end of that game, and was shocked to see how easily the Redskins drove through them, I think that will continue this week. As much as I hate to say it, I see the Cowboys at 2-0 and in the driving seat for this division right now. But, they need Terrance Newman to do anything big this year.
Prediction: Cowboys, Cowboys -4

Seahawks @ Cardinals
The Seahawks were the most easy pick of last week, and the Cardinals were my bandwagon disappointment, proving that no matter what, they are still the Arizona Shitty Fucking Cardinals. Edge got his game going a little bit, and it will be interesting to see if he can keep it going this week against a more solid (sorry niners fans) Seattle defense. I like the Seahawks to do work this year, so does Bill Simmons, and I am pretty sure they will be able to handle the Cards this week. They should be 2-0 without having to break a sweat.
Prediction: Seahawks, Seahawks -3

Jets @ Ravens
I feel that people don't really know what to expect from this game, considering the Pats were at another level last week- I wonder why- and the Jets never really had a chance. The Ravens dropped one to the Bengals, but I really can't see them all the way down at 0-2. Especially not after a home game, especially not after wearing those all black unis. The Jets shouldn't be too worried if Pennington can't start, I see Clemens as pretty much the same thing, but they should be worried about their rushing game. Thomas Jones did not look good. That is a big concern for a franchise looking for a back to replace Curtis Martin.
Prediction: Ravens, Ravens -10

Raiders @ Broncos
One of the worst teams in the league travels to one of the hardest places to play in football. I think we all know how this one will probably play out.
Prediction: Broncos, Broncos covering whatever spread they put up

Chiefs @ Bears
One of the worst offenses in the league facing off against one of the top defenses in the league. The Bears team this year looks exactly the same to me as the Bears team from last year: fierce, swarming defense, ok running attack, worst QB/Passing attack of any good team, will beat the mediocre teams only to lose to good ones. The Bears will be tough to beat for most everyone, and the Chiefs definately aren't pulling off this upset.
Prediction: Bears, Chiefs +13 (Just cause I am not sure if the Bears can score 13 points)

8:15 EST
Chargers @ Patriots
Undoubtably the matchup of the week, but its coming about 12 weeks too soon. This game should be a late season test for both teams. The Pats looked incredible last week, and no matter what everyone wants to think, its not solely cause they were taping the Jets signals. The Chargers did well by surviving the Bears. I've always thought its easier to play defense earlier in the season, cause offenses aren't quite on the same signals yet, so beating the Bears early is a pretty nice accomplishment. The Pats have something to prove this week: that they can win without cheating. The Chargers have something to prove this week: that they are better than the Pats, and deserve revenge for their Divisional loss to them last year. Expect this to be a fast hard-hitting game. I like LT to have a big week, but I don't see the Chargers stopping the Pats offense. And you know what's funny: Shawne Merriman cheated by taking steroids but no one seems to care that much. I mean he still made the pro bowl and has his own nike commercials, which are dope by the way.
Prediction: Pats, Pats -4

Monday 8:30 EST
Redskins @ Eagles
No game last week pleased me more than the Eagles games. One of my good friends here is an Eagles fan, and watching him go through what Giants fans normally have to go through was beautiful. I love seeing them lose, especially to shitty teams, and especially by giving the game away. The Redskins won though, which pissed me off, and I think this week things will even out for these two NFC East teams. Donny Mac (as the Eagles fan calls him) has gotta play better and the Eagles need to shore things up, but Andy Reid is a good coach, and I expect them to be ready to kick the Skins ass this week.
Prediction: Eagles, Eagles -7

This is what I do when I sleep through my classes