Bill O'Reilly just pooped his pants...FIGURATIVELY!!! How embarrassing...

I go to the Presidio at night, and I'm a little liberal pussy! What does that say about you, Bill, you scared little fuck?!?!?!? What a n00b. He can't handle all the owls and occasional cat roaming around JK with their needles and guns and drugs and sex and GAYNESS??? Gays, transgenders, fiends, oh my!

There was that one time I got poison oak from BG (on my face!), that was really scary though for sure. Damn Presidio is hella hood.

Also, what the fuck was that line about North Beach and the Tenderloin? Huh?

Anyways, a few other thoughts:
1) How come futuristic movie writers can't come up with anything better than a fucking laser? It's absolutely ridiculous to think that in a million years humans will still be hiding behind open doors and shooting laser guns down hallways at each other. What about homing laser bombs that are invisible and travel at light speeds and smell like really bad farts or something? Come on.
2) Have you ever noticed that the Odwalla icon is just a stapler with eyes? Who comes up with this shit.
3) Look at this chart. I have a similar one in my Astronomy textbook. Interesting, you think? Take another look because its not just fucking interesting you thesaurus-less nublet, its goddam mind-altering. I'm no pro at math and I may be totally misunderstanding powers of ten, but according to this graph a human is a similar size in relation to the Earth that a quark is in relation to an atom. WHAT? Do you realize how small that is? Where did it all come from? Why? Who? WHAT?

That's all. Thank you for listening.

Check these out...

WU TANG MUTHA FUCKA. What ever happened to "Wu Wear"? I wanna see more of that shit. nothing is cooler than one of those jerseys. Way better than the boots that they just did with FILA. You know what is also better? The FILA "CREAM" shoe that they did years ago. Catch it on eBay, only $65.

p.s. benny blanco repping the wu wear. totally rad!

YAY!

400th post! Suck it, 9 n00bs who didn't vote for him! I hope you all suck on a stick of flaming magma and die!!!! TWICE!!!

Good For A Laugh: Difference Between Men and Women

This was sent to me in an e-mail from a friend:

A Woman's Perfect Day

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;open presents- expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure;makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs

1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers

10:00 Hot shower- alone

10:50 Carried to bed. freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms


A Man's Perfect Day


6:00 Alarm

6:15 Blow job

6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several beers en route to the airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon

12:15 Blow job

12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle

5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson

6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated

7:30 Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 Night-cap blow job

11:45 In bed alone

11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

Vote for Weezy

I dont know if ya'll have been keeping up with our favorite-sizzurp-sipping-celebrity, but Weezy has a blog. He ain't dead. Actually, he has a new son Dwayne Carter III.

Back to the Basics; Commence Slapping...

Alright ladies and gents. No frills, just music. Put these in your pipes and smoke 'em.

Rough is the Texture - RBX
Off of RBXs first solo album "The RBX Files". RBX is just one of those guys I've always liked to listen to for whatever reason. Kinda like Juvenile. Even though RBX was pissed as shit at Dre and Death Row during this album, I remain loyal.

Early Retirement - Mac Dre
Play at loud volumes.

Get the Paper Mayne - Mac Dre
Ditto.

Fall Back - Big L w/ Kool G
From "The Big Picture". Nice Temptations sample.

Enjoy. Out like my ideas for this line...?