Freekey Zekey: "Holy matrimony, Batman! I done did a fuckin' album"...

So recently I copped Freekey Zekey's album "Book of Ezekiel", the world-wide debut for the president of Diplomat Records. It was good timing, considering the arrival of the Dipset/Ramones shirt I bought off eBay. It's cool, but I realized they spelled "Freekey" wrong. Fuck.
Anyways, the album is OK. I've a few songs to put up here, and I won't go as far to say that I like them, but I will say that they're pretty catchy.

Daddy Back (w/ Cam'ron and Juelz Santana)
Actually, I realized I don't really like this song, but some of the lyrics are just too good to not put up:

Cam'ron:
Fellacio, that's when you grab her face and go
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, taste it ho
In her mouth I had to place it, yo
I let her hang out, she ain't have a place to go
But I let her go with Zeke in the Cadillac
Daddy back? Daddy back, huh huh, asthma attack

Brilliant.

Hater What You Lookin' At
This was the first single released, but I never heard it on the radio or anything. Maybe because it's not that good, or maybe because I don't really listen to the radio. The beat is so simple it's half-nauseating, half-addictive.
One thing I noticed about this album is that some of the chorus' (chori?) are almost Computer and Big Triece worthy:
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
Go and get some paper stacks,
get some paper stacks.
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at?
Hater what you lookin' at?
What you lookin' at? [x2]

Shoot 'Em Up (w/ Hell Rell and JR Writer)
Probably my favorite off the album; it simply goes the hardest.
Another great chorus:
Shoot 'em up, bang bang,
Shoot 'em up, bang bang,
Shoot 'em up,
Shoot 'em up,
Shoot 'em up,
Shoot 'em up. [x2]

This song also has my favorite rhyme of the album, from JR: "You know how me and Freekey do, pop a couple vehicles, shock 'em more than Pikachu". DIPS3T R TEH ROX0RZ!11!!one!

Here's a bonus track:
Pin the Tail (w/ Cam'ron, Juelz and Max B)
It's pretty much just a lesser version of "We Fly High" in all aspects. But it's still hella good, man.

Juanfeesh has become a total workaholic, RJ and Ninerpride are totally hopeless, and the namesake is still MIA, so I'm hoping hungryfortacos can provide some relief upon his return. Speaking of which, where the hell is he? Wasn't he supposed to get back like, Saturday?

Barry Bonds: Hero

As Barry Bonds approaches the hallowed mark of 755, I have taken the time to reflect on what the slugger means to San Francisco, and how nobody else gets it.
Rick Reilly, my most favorite sports writer in the entire UNIVERSE!!!OMGROFLZLOLLERSKATES, of course wrote his 4,596,303 article ripping Bonds to pieces in the most recent Sports Illustrated. What a bitch. This guy complains so much about Barry taking steroids and being a complete dick, that I'm beginning to think that he actually, literally, wants to suck his dick (yes, total homo).
In his most recent article, he called us fans here in San Francisco "Kool-Aid drinkers", which really ticked me off. I mean, first of all, Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple had their biggest following here, so, Rick, totally not cool.
More importantly, I just don't see how sports writers, and just people around the country, can't understand why we love Barry Bonds. He was the player of the 1990s, hit 73 homeruns in 2001, led our team to a World Series in 2002, is the only member of the 400-400 club and the 500-500 club, and now is the only position player who can hit on the entire fucking team. We've seen him do this all in front of us for the past 15 years, playing for our hometown team, and we're not supposed to cheer him on? If it weren't for him, this entire organization would be in the shitter. Imagine the memories he's left us with. We're supposed to boo? Throw syringes at him? No fucking way. I cheer for my team, and its best player. The fact that he is a dick to reporters doesn't bother me, because I have grown to hate most sports writers these days (and yes, he's probably a dick to teammates as well, except no one has really ever expressed that except for Cunt, ahem, Kent). The steroids thing? Well...
Let me put it this way. Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de Frances in a row. After undergoing intensive chemotherapy. 7-in-a-fucking-row. The European media, especially the French, have published numerous articles and books concerning doping allegations held against Armstrong, which I for one am certainly glad are all false. The French hated Lance during his incredible run. It couldn't be possible, they thought, that a man who lost a lot of his career to cancer was able to dominate a sport, when all of his best competition had all eventually been linked to doping (Landis, Basso, Ullrich, and now Rasmussen, for example). Yet we Americans loved him , he was our homegrown hero after all, and he had never actually tested positive (coincidentally, Rick Reilly also loves to ride Lances jock, total homo). Sound familiar?
Clearly, there are holes in the comparison, but I stand by the general principles. I just don't understand why it is so hard for people to accept the fact that Bay Area fans will never betray Barry.

On another note, when discussing plans for 756, Duane Kuiper said that Russ Hodges' call of Robbie Thompsons "Shot Heard Round the World" was the greatest moment in sports commentating history ("The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant!").

I respectfully disagree, and nominate this choice, featuring the voice of Victor Hugo Morales:

The Second Coming...

What Pele tried 30 years ago, David Beckham (ankle permitting) will attempt on Saturday; bring life to US soccer.



This video is hilarious, not really for what's in it, but for all the comments below it on YouTube. Basically it's just a bunch of ignorant people arguing back and forth about who's better, Bush or Beckham. From what I've read, the "soccer" fans make complete asses of themselves, claiming that a) Beckham is faster than Reggie (just wrong) b) Beckham can kick the football farther than Reggie (ok, maybe, but totally irrelevant) and c) Beckham is better than Reggie at football, because he beats him one-on-one running a receiver route. Ok, whatever.
First off, Beckham would get destroyed playing in the NFL, that much we all know. Secondly, and I suspect every European would get very mad at me for this, I still stand by the fact that if the US shared the rest of the worlds passion for the original "football", we would destroy everyone. (Yeah, I know, we have way more people than most of the countries we play against but still, we would shit on everyone. So too bad for them.)
Imagine trying to guard Calvin Johnson on a corner kick. See, you can't, because it would be the hardest thing in the world, ever, period.

Anyways, back to the point. I, like many here in the US, are waiting for Beckhams debut with much anticipation. I hope his ankle "heels" (I'm so awesome) by Saturday, or atleast he is able to play some decent minutes- MLS really doesn't want to have this debut, which they've produced several commericals for, not happen. I think that Beckham coming is great for soccer here in the states, considering all the buzz it has created and revenue it's producing.
However, it's clear the US has a long way to go. Reading articles by American sports columnists about Beckham and soccer in general sound totally ignorant.
There were a reported 3,000 people at Beckham's first practice. 30,000 showed up to Henry's first appearance at the Nou Camp.
And, columnists are already trying to create the whole situation in to some reality show. Yahoo!'s esteemed Josh Peter is already trying to muck-rake, and some chump named Santino Quintara is spreading shit about the Galaxy's dynamic going down the tubes. He said "To me, it doesn't seem like Alexi (...Lalas, the Galaxy GM) and Frank (...Yallop, Galaxy Coach) are on the same page". Well, Santino, it seems to me that no one knows who you are. So shut up, hope that your league gains some revenue, respectability and talent from all this, so we have to stop going 0-3 in the goddamn Copa America.

Stay tuned, to see if anyone else is ever going to post again...
Have a good summer.

Fantasy Baseball Midseason Review

Now that the baseball season is at its midpoint, it is time for our annual Midseason Review.
You can find the preseason review here, and like I say in the comments, I stand by any prediction I made before. Clearly, I was wrong on alot of shit. Some things I would like to point out are: Archie saying in the comment section "i dont know shit about baseball", and John asking "is that actually Scott?".

Team	R	H	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	OPS	Total
Yeast	12	11	12	10	12	11	11	79
Yum	11	12	5	11	10	12	7	68
Jizz	10	10	8	12	1	7	8	56
Teabag	9	6	1	1	6	8	9	40
FUCK	8	5	10	7	8	3	6	47
Rapex	7	4	9	5	11	2	2	40
Poop	6	8	2	8	7	4	1	36
Gyro	5	9	4	9	4	10	10	51
Ankles	4	3	11	4	2	9	12	45
Pat	3	7	3	6	9	6	3	37
Milkshake	2	1	7	2	5	1	4	22
phil	1	2	6	3	3	5	5	25

Team	IP	W	CG	SV	K	ERA	WHIP	Total
Yeast	8	11	12	7	8	3	5	54
Yum	9	3	11	4	12	7	3	49
Jizz	12	4	6	8	7	1	1	39
Teabag	3	7	8	3	4	11	11	47
FUCK	4	5	2	11	5	8	6	41
Rapex	11	10	3	2	10	5	4	45
Poop	5	6	4	12	9	12	10	58
Gyro	7	9	5	9	6	9	12	57
Ankles	6	8	9	6	3	10	9	51
Pat	10	12	7	10	11	6	8	64
Milkshake	2	2	10	5	2	2	2	25
phil	1	1	1	1	1	4	7	16

For those of you who don't know what that is (ugh), it is how our league would play out had it been in Rotisserie format. It is probably the most accurate indicator as to how talent in a league is actually distributed (points leagues are too subjective), and it is how all fantasy experts play.

Below are the point totals of each team, and the order in which we would be aligned right now. In parenthesis are the actual place of each team.

Bubblingyeastvag: 133 (1)
Poopy slurppy yum: 117 (5)
Suck My Gyro Balls: 108 (2)
THE Pat Ryan: 101 (4)
Ankles and not yets: 96 (6)
Upperdeckdiarrheajizz: 95 (8)
Diarrhea Poop Fuck: 94 (10)
FUCKDISSHIT: 88 (7)
DiceK Will Teabag U: 87 (3)
Rapexrippin’cock: 85 (9)
Diarrhea Milkshake: 47 (11)
Phil did it again eww: 41 (12)

First of all, I must tip my hat to the namesake, Mr. Archibald "i dont know shit about baseball" Hunter. I was impressed by your team coming in, even though clearly you had no idea what you were doing, and now you are easily the best team in the league. I'm happy you've actually started paying attention to fantasy. I don't feel bad at all for Ian, being clearly the second best team but suffering from the Head-to-Head format, because he is a homo-ghey-ass Dodger fan that deserves to be torn up by John's rapexrippin'cock. Love you, Ian. Also, credit is due where credit is due, and Clay, I applaud you for your brave approach. I never thought taking prospects and nursing-home patients would work, but I was wrong. Good for you, cocksucker.
I, once again am clearly being screwed, but it still wouldn't put me in a playoff spot. I predicted my team to win when all was said and done, which I still predict, but I admit it's still pretty shitty. My hitting clearly needs work, but with the underachieving trio of Pujols/Berkman/Beltran heading the way, I'm starting my late push.
Krem-dog is also being screwed over, as he would be in line for a playoff spot but instead is floundering in 8th. Clearly the biggest discrepency here is Dice-K Will Teabag U. Matthay I don't know how you do it, but sitting pretty in 3rd when your team clearly doesn't deserve it is pretty impressive.
Oh, and, a standing "O" to brave Mr. Watkins, who came just two categories away from finishing dead last in every single pitching category. I couldn't do it if I tried.

Good luck to everyone, except Archie, Clay, Mark, Zach, Ian, Kremer, Trevor, John and RJ. Alex and Harry? You go, girls.

dress archie loves munichen

we missed the amstedam post because out of the sheer inability of describing in type the experience of the city. we smoked some dank which just made us lazy and unable to explore the city. then we took some of earths most trippy substances which made us see some amazing colors and visions this blogs contibutors have seen. we had some deap thoughs and even more memorable sights that we will not mind showing as you dwelve into the journals that we all contibuted to in some way or another. amsterdam showed us some amazing sights and experiences but now that we are in munich after an interesting and extremely long train ride we have even more to tell which hungry for tacos will now explain.

To start off we are on munich's hype. This city is amazing. Last night we went to an abanodned beer haus. Great!!!! Now we went to the most famous beer garden in all of germany and we sat at the members only table. We showed many respect that it deserved because it was unbeileivable. We each drank three litres. Great!!! of haus beer. Party. The best beer haul in all of Germany and we sat at the table where Sylvester Stallone and the people who rep the people once sat. It was a fucking honor. An honor. An honor. I am proud to report this all to you. YaY. Time to pass out. YAY. Done.

Collaboration of hungryfortacos, widukind, abriendobitches, juanfish, and the namesake.

RIP INJURYPRONE